(no subject)

[vicarz]

I did deadlifts for the first time since I knocked myself out 2 weeks ago. I felt fine then, so I was cautious this time. I worked up to 315 for 6 reps, then instead of 2x5 for 5 sets of 10, I merely did 225 for 3 sets of 10. It felt fine - easy peasy - but I felt pretty good last time too when days later I would be unable to sit in my car for more than 20 minutes without searing pain from muscle fatigue.

One day later and I'm a little sore but not crazy bad. If I don't get worse then my set next week will be 4 sets of 10 at 225. Then 5 sets. Then I can worry about bringing it up. I'm also considering doing less reps, even if 5/3/1 gives it as an idea, because I'm not sure it is leading to real gains compared to big lifts?

My chiro says my elbows, now that my right friggin elbow is acting up, just may be fucked. I mean he mentioned a few possible problems, spur, bursitis, but he feels nothing wrong. My knee is crunching less, but has started to get pain more often - like it's hyper-extended when it doesn't seem to be.

You know what? Maybe I'm just not made for this. Maybe, just maybe, I'm not meant to be a fighter. Maybe I won't set strength records. I've always been a coward, I've always flinched, I've always been small, and I'm even wired emo. I've come a long way for a sissy, but sometimes I need to face reality.

My reality is I'm pretty proud of what I can do. I learned to hit, hard, and flinch far less. I put all but real athletes to shame in the gym, doing impressive weight for a short sissy in angry black t-shirts. I'm probably going to continue to have setbacks and problems - more as age starts in - but I'm also going to get stronger. If I lose function in some body part, I'll shift to something new and get better at it - enjoying new-sport rapid gains. I will age well, not falling, not depreciating as rapidly as nonathletic people, not losing much if any mobility. I'll just wrinkle, have big ears, and a neck waddle.

The bigger reality is fighting and strength are nice skills, but in my case merely symptoms of an obsession based on being socially fucking retarded. Seriously, guns, fighting, these are things for people who lack the ability to engage socially in different environments. Which do you think a partner finds hotter - beating people up who disagree, or disarming an uncomfortable situation? Who has more long-term reliable friends? Who is happier?

I like guns, fighting, the idea that when people do things I think are horrible I can kill them or prevent them from (whatever). That just shows my lack of ability to relate, control myself, think through the situation, and have any confidence in my ability to convince others to do what is right. Sometimes I disagree with what is right, lacking the ability to listen or relate. Sometimes I am unable to convince others, showing I'm wrong or lack communication skills. You can't always win people over, but with enough support I could have enough of a group consensus that I wouldn't mind living in a world where people thought so radically different? I dunno - I'm too limited mentally to be able to imagine that.

Luckily while I may not be that smart of skilled, I am still learning. Over time I'm slowly catching up, gaining skills, making friends, to the degree I recognize that being able to win in solo situations pales in comparison to social success - and that generally not being a shit and letting people do their own thing tends to lead to social success.

Ok I got a little off track there...and after only 2 cups of joe!

Comments

[joanarkham.livejournal.com]

Interesting. Being a larger than average girl (in height and weight) I'm always trying to be small. Most of the time I hate being intimidating (although I admit it's come in handy a few times). I know enough about physiology that I'm not afraid of getting "bulky" from weights, but I don't get the same satisfaction from adding 5 pounds to a machine vs. losing 5 pounds on the scale.

Question: there are a couple of machines that hurt my knees, so I've been reducing the weight. Or should I be trying to strengthen them with more weight? More reps?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_blackjack_/]

Many years of martial arts have taught me that being able to fight is an almost worthless skill. No amount of skill can protect you from a determined person who really wants to do you harm, so the key is to avoid making people want to do you harm. Guys who get into violent altercations on a regular basis (who aren't in law-enforcement/security/military jobs or living in high-crime areas) almost inevitably have made some poor lifestyle choices. De-escalating a situation is amazingly easy, if you are willing to look like a fool or a weakling, and I decided long ago I'd rather look like a fool than put somebody in the hospital for being a fool.

Of course, I'm so old and out of shape now that avoiding confrontations is my only option, but that's fine...

[fitfool.livejournal.com]

What kind of fighting have you been learning? I didn't know you were doing any training in that area. I thought it was all weightlifting and some running. Being able to deal with things without resorting to violence is far preferable but a little part of me finds the idea of being able to throw a solid punch very appealing. I am, however, so much of a wimp about the idea of getting hit in the face that I've never taken any classes.

[panthergirl.livejournal.com]

I like that you have a deeper understanding of the threat level many women feel walking down a dark alley, or living in a really bad neighborhood. You understand "scared". If that makes you take classes, or like guns, or attempt to learn how to de-escalate, or lift weights, it only adds to your appeal.

Think about it, you are demonstrating consideration for threats others never feel/acknowledge/get exposed to as "great big guys".