vicarz | (no subject)

Missed the meteor shower
A doc today told me I'm...reacting to stress. Same as the last doctor, and the doctor before that. However, in terms of my life I am...I like the stress. I may have hated it but now it's got a certain level of comfort for me. What if lack of stress is stressful to me (you laugh) or worse yet, illusory?

I'm re-considering requesting a demotion at work, or seeking one of those easy jobs. Step down.

Why is it such a struggle to face the US dream? Balance?
Seriously, it seems so many are wrapped in the goal no matter what the work - what about just seeking ... what about focusing less on the reward but on the work? Why not just enjoy the less work and less reward? Instead of a decision to sacrifice what about a decision to let go and ... work less and enjoy the not working?

It's because she told me to lay down my gun
the fuck I carried so long
I wondered if she saw the benefit of pacifying determination and strength
or just the old fetish for fixing crazy
maybe stupid

There is this literary archetype I never bought
the suicidal bad guy
his horror bestowed upon us all as a sign of his pain
a request for release
somehow I never bought into legitimizing the actions of a douchebag

I taste blood in my mouth
that reality crashgate
blood in my mouth, in my nose
a discussion

I looked at some old pictures today
I considered telling the truth
I considered telling a lie