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Jun. 9th, 2003 03:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vicarzA piece of advice for social ladder climbers: quit. Just stop it.
I’m currently listening to two managers talk about a woman in our office who trashes everyone. They are noting her many problems with many people, and how her scooting around and complaining behind people’s back is so immature compared to addressing issues like an adult. She’s trying to gain status by attacking people, instead of actually doing something about her situation. I’ve seen this so many times that I’ve come to recognize the behavior as a sad pattern.
If people are going to like or respect you, it’s going to be based on something about you. Something you do, something you know, something about you will or will not make people like you or your work. If all you can do is tear stuff down, you’re just showing that you can’t build anything.
Attacking someone, making fun, criticizing…any of those things in an effort to elevate yourself WILL fail. It is possible to drag someone down or hurt them, but it never elevates the accuser to do so, and more often than not drags them down as well. If it’s done multiple times, it is very obvious what is going on, and the accuser looks like dirt.
I’m currently listening to two managers talk about a woman in our office who trashes everyone. They are noting her many problems with many people, and how her scooting around and complaining behind people’s back is so immature compared to addressing issues like an adult. She’s trying to gain status by attacking people, instead of actually doing something about her situation. I’ve seen this so many times that I’ve come to recognize the behavior as a sad pattern.
If people are going to like or respect you, it’s going to be based on something about you. Something you do, something you know, something about you will or will not make people like you or your work. If all you can do is tear stuff down, you’re just showing that you can’t build anything.
Attacking someone, making fun, criticizing…any of those things in an effort to elevate yourself WILL fail. It is possible to drag someone down or hurt them, but it never elevates the accuser to do so, and more often than not drags them down as well. If it’s done multiple times, it is very obvious what is going on, and the accuser looks like dirt.
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no subject
Date: 2003-06-09 12:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-09 12:59 pm (UTC)Luckily, I've eliminated the majority of people like that in my life and will continue to keep folks like that out of my life...they are social parasites that I just don't have time for anymore.
And on the same note...deliberately mean and/or selfish people suck in the same way as "social climbers".
no subject
Date: 2003-06-09 02:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-09 06:12 pm (UTC)bingo. something POSITIVE, not your ability to recognize the negative. too many people expend far too much energy talking about how terrible and fucked up everyone else is and how far above them they are. when in fact all they are doing is indicating they are needing to find their place in the pecking order and realize they too are a source of negativity.
once one is in that cycle its very difficult to remove oneself without insulting others.
mantra of the day : walk away (not from people, from ideas and behaviours), don't talk about how you are walking away. be. don't talk about being. do. don't talk about what someone else is doing that you don't approve of.
difficult, but admirable aspirations.
--kelowna