Mr. Posty McPost

[vicarz]

You know what's odd to me? The number of people "congratulating" me on having a girlfriend. Now I happen to think she is spiffy and find her more so the more time we spend together, but most people "congratulating" me haven't met her. What if she were horrible? Maybe I made her up? What if I paid her by the hour for her performance, or the relationship is heavily based on my funding of "the operation?" Why is it congrats? I'm sure once more people meet and get to know her it'll be justifiably congrats for Wow, she's really nice. What is she doing wasting her time with a creep like you? ;P

I know it's meant with, and I totally take each comment with, good intentions. I haven't ever had a comment like that and though "Well that was odd" at the time - but later on as I hear more of them it started me wondering. I know there isn't a script for what to say; still, to me it would have seemed more appropriate to say "I'm happy for you," or "I'm glad you're feeling good." I'd understand "Well thank god - maybe now you'll stop being suck a little bitch." (hint - probably not going to happen) "Good luck with that" and "Hope it works out" make sense.

If there were a time to say congrats, it would seem to me the time would have been when I was NOT whoring about, when I was NOT settling for who was available and showing interest (or just drunk), when I was NOT engaging in risky behavior for the sake of getting off in the short-term, when I WAS showing an ounce of maturity and/or self-control. "Congrats on not fucking everything in sight!" "Hey, you're showing an ounce of self-esteem, and it looks good on you!" "I had no idea what your head looked like from the front." Then again, I guess it's weird to note things not done vs. things done.

Comments

[grymnir.livejournal.com]

people are congratulating you for:
a) finding someone to put up with you.
b) achieving a possible span of happiness (for the most part).
c) removing the threat of your pestilent member from the social sex pool.

...take your pick, though I hedge toward (b) given that you are right: I have no idea who she is.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

I think A is a miracle, good god, but c makes the most sense.

[thesaucemonster.livejournal.com]

It's possible I'm the best imaginary girlfriend ever, but now that you see I'm on the interwebs, I obviously exist! =P

[grymnir.livejournal.com]

unless, of course, the boy has created a second account and populated it with a selection of fictitious entries, responses, and photojacked images...
though, in this image at least, you seem to have the type of eyes that support the illusion much better than we imagine he would spend his time attempting. He sooooo hates work, after all.

However...after noting your use of poetry it now makes sense that he's been tossing more fiction up in the past few weeks, so I must admit to your increasingly concrete reality and congratulate him on his luck in finding you and ingenuity in attracting you, because we all know it *can't* be the washboard abs under the layer of truffle camouflage.

[thesaucemonster.livejournal.com]

Not just that, but they aren't a detriment. ;-)

And he offers me truffles, and sometimes I accept . . .

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Aw damnit she did it again *GUSH*

[thesaucemonster.livejournal.com]

Awww . . . oops!

Teehee.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Back, meet front!

[thesaucemonster.livejournal.com]

Sweeeeet. Spooning!

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Because everything on the internet is real and there is NO WAY to fake it ;P