Mr. Posty McPost

[vicarz]

You know what's odd to me? The number of people "congratulating" me on having a girlfriend. Now I happen to think she is spiffy and find her more so the more time we spend together, but most people "congratulating" me haven't met her. What if she were horrible? Maybe I made her up? What if I paid her by the hour for her performance, or the relationship is heavily based on my funding of "the operation?" Why is it congrats? I'm sure once more people meet and get to know her it'll be justifiably congrats for Wow, she's really nice. What is she doing wasting her time with a creep like you? ;P

I know it's meant with, and I totally take each comment with, good intentions. I haven't ever had a comment like that and though "Well that was odd" at the time - but later on as I hear more of them it started me wondering. I know there isn't a script for what to say; still, to me it would have seemed more appropriate to say "I'm happy for you," or "I'm glad you're feeling good." I'd understand "Well thank god - maybe now you'll stop being suck a little bitch." (hint - probably not going to happen) "Good luck with that" and "Hope it works out" make sense.

If there were a time to say congrats, it would seem to me the time would have been when I was NOT whoring about, when I was NOT settling for who was available and showing interest (or just drunk), when I was NOT engaging in risky behavior for the sake of getting off in the short-term, when I WAS showing an ounce of maturity and/or self-control. "Congrats on not fucking everything in sight!" "Hey, you're showing an ounce of self-esteem, and it looks good on you!" "I had no idea what your head looked like from the front." Then again, I guess it's weird to note things not done vs. things done.

Comments

Re: blunt but true

[vicar.livejournal.com]

I'll make up a trophy wife then - god bless EurAsia.

[grymnir.livejournal.com]

people are congratulating you for:
a) finding someone to put up with you.
b) achieving a possible span of happiness (for the most part).
c) removing the threat of your pestilent member from the social sex pool.

...take your pick, though I hedge toward (b) given that you are right: I have no idea who she is.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

I think A is a miracle, good god, but c makes the most sense.

[thesaucemonster.livejournal.com]

It's possible I'm the best imaginary girlfriend ever, but now that you see I'm on the interwebs, I obviously exist! =P

[grymnir.livejournal.com]

unless, of course, the boy has created a second account and populated it with a selection of fictitious entries, responses, and photojacked images...
though, in this image at least, you seem to have the type of eyes that support the illusion much better than we imagine he would spend his time attempting. He sooooo hates work, after all.

However...after noting your use of poetry it now makes sense that he's been tossing more fiction up in the past few weeks, so I must admit to your increasingly concrete reality and congratulate him on his luck in finding you and ingenuity in attracting you, because we all know it *can't* be the washboard abs under the layer of truffle camouflage.

[thesaucemonster.livejournal.com]

Not just that, but they aren't a detriment. ;-)

And he offers me truffles, and sometimes I accept . . .

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Aw damnit she did it again *GUSH*

[thesaucemonster.livejournal.com]

Awww . . . oops!

Teehee.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Back, meet front!

[thesaucemonster.livejournal.com]

Sweeeeet. Spooning!

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Because everything on the internet is real and there is NO WAY to fake it ;P

[feistydiva.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's more like "Congratulations for taking a chance on someone, you little bitch." ;-)

I'm so happy for you!!!! :-D

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Ah, see it's the short version that confuses me! Now it all adds up ;P

[grymnir.livejournal.com]

I think I have to go with this one rather than my earlier more tentative options.

[pastor-saturn.livejournal.com]

If there were a time to say congrats, it would seem to me the time would have been when I was NOT whoring about, when I was NOT settling for who was available and showing interest (or just drunk), when I was NOT engaging in risky behavior for the sake of getting off in the short-term, when I WAS showing an ounce of maturity and/or self-control.

Oh, sorry, weren't those things implied in our congratulations? ;)

Hee!

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Well that would explain how I caught this poor victim and fooled her into thinking I was a decent human allegory, but the timing seemed more based on the event. My bad! ;P

Re: Hee!

[sidhebat.livejournal.com]

Lindt makes roofie-flavored truffles? Sweet!

Re: Hee!

[thesaucemonster.livejournal.com]

Indeed they do and that's how I caught him. A truffle on a string . . .

[djpsyche.livejournal.com]

Congratulations on finding someone up to your standards, maybe?

Now you mention it, it is a weird thing to congratulate. But then I've seen (and probably have done) congratulations on break-ups as well. Actually break-ups are more of an achievement, particularly when long overdue.

"Hope it works out" sounds just too cynical even for me.

[ashbet]

Yeah, I definitely would have gone with "I'm happy for you" . . . however, the alternate congratulatory explanations are freakin' hilarious!

-- A ;D

[kelowna.livejournal.com]

You know what's odd to me? The number of people "congratulating" me on having a girlfriend.
Its like business dude. You sealed the deal. *cough* I didn't count - but when you think of it, that is a funny thing to say. Tho I dug Mike's blunt statement the best. Twas accurate.

What if she were horrible? Maybe I made her up?
Possible. I think I'd worry about that if we were sitting at dinner and you pointed to an empty seat and introduced me to your new Girlfriend.

What is she doing wasting her time with a creep like you? ;P
I guess she'll find out.

"Good luck with that" and "Hope it works out" make sense.
I've decided I have no idea what "works out" mean. Something can "work out" for a few days, weeks, months and even years and still end in breakup/divorce (far far far more often than not). It is strange how we can't enjoy the good times and see "working out" as those good times rather than the end sum.

If there were a time to say congrats, it would seem to me the time would have been when I was NOT whoring about, when I was NOT settling for who was available and showing interest (or just drunk), when I was NOT engaging in risky behavior for the sake of getting off in the short-term, when I WAS showing an ounce of maturity and/or self-control. "Congrats on not fucking everything in sight!" "Hey, you're showing an ounce of self-esteem, and it looks good on you!" "I had no idea what your head looked like from the front." Then again, I guess it's weird to note things not done vs. things done.

I did say that. *thwack* SEVERAL times!

--k

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Yes indeed you said that, but you're an unusual friend :) (and I like it)

[wantedonvoyage.livejournal.com]

Hey just wanted to tell you I wandered in from gymrats and added you as a friend.