(no subject)

[vicarz]

More from "I don't know:" Marriage
Today's not important line of thought started when talking to a friend in the gym who I hadn't seen in ages (a girl from the original Gold's boxing club, washboard abs > age 40) was when she mentioned someone I know having long-term relationship problems with his girl, problems I didn't know about. She theorized that he was with her because he had been with her so long he didn't know what else to do, or feared the alternatives. This is a strong woman, but her note was that you never compromise and settle in a relationship. She hadn't, but noted that all of her friends who committed despite problems are all getting divorces (with and without kids). We debated a bit, and I don't know what the answer, or my answer, is on that subject. It's not important right now, but I've been noting recently that sometimes the difference between a relationship and not was simply deciding to commit and staying committed. Perhaps those that succeed are just the ones that try, and that those that keep seeking perfection just don't understand what a real commitment is. So, the converse is that if you just lay down a commitment, you're just begging for a much harder crash further down the road.

And I don't know, nor is it important in my life right now. Still curious.

Comments

[railwaymadness]

While it is important to be able to tell the difference between people being imperfect in the way that all humans are imperfect and people being imperfect in ways that make them Not Right For You, I don't think all divorces can be predicted from the outset. As time moves on, people do change. Nothing is guaranteed. Committing more does mean there is a risk of a "much harder crash further down the road". You just have to decide if the rewards are worth the risk.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

That's a hell of a ratio to try and predict.