(no subject)

[vicarz]

2:42 and I can't get back to sleep. Something about working out often leads to this - is it the massive post-workout food (a small sandwich?) being sore (no, not really) or some rebound effect?

Reading "The Logic of Life" by Tim Harford. These econ meets life books are killing me, thanks a lot Colin. They're like candy for people with 3 digit iqs. And cynics.

Take romance vs. economics. I had a friend telling me that in NY nobody looks at a female over 30 w/o kids like she's crazy. Well, according to sex in the city of NY 1.3 million males bounce around 1.8 million females. In fact, statistics show that overall urban environments have a higher % of males than rural in the industrialized world. Women in areas in which they outnumber men, even by a little bit, tend to be higher paid and more educated.

So not crazy perhaps just means not alone.

A while ago I was whining that girls all stated they want tall men. However, it turns out that in all studies (and certainly my experience) you choose what you have to choose from. Economics folks have been cruising "speed dating" for data, and finding sad realities:
Men choose twice as many possible mates as females
Everyone lowers their standards based on what is available. Big time. So much so it is comical. Women want tall, but settle quickly when no tall people are around (Mexico and Asia, here I come). Men want not overweight (I'm quoting here) but will settle when no thin women are around.
Or as noted in Silence of the Lambs, you first covet what you know?
If true, I should get the fuck out of gothdom and fast...

As housework got easier, both men and women started marrying at older ages. The division of labor became less important so there was no need to pair up? Divorce rates have shown steady trends related to developing nations, while female worker participation is related to lower rates of abuse. Bargaining power = love. Fascinating theories.

Still wish I could sleep. When I got up star trek, 5th element, and harvey birdman were on. Thank insomnia for cable. In 2 hours I might as well get up.

Comments

[underfiend.livejournal.com]

Some people simply go to meet people....

The vast majority of the women I spoke to at both events were lawyers or other professionals who didn't have a lot of time to go out and meet people the standard way. Some of them felt that electronic dating was worthless, too, or had bad experiences with good reason.

I'll admit the first time I went was to meet someone, and I got a match or two, but the second was for the hell of it and everyone I clicked with clicked back. The irony is this time even though I had a greater number of matches, none replied, which just explained why these things exist in the second place.

I have the writeups for these events in my memories somewhere if you care that much. I know it's very, very long. I never saw my speeddating clip up on comcast so who knows what happened with that. My point is, they're (mostly) not as desperate as you might think.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Most reviews talked about it from a psyc perspective of avoiding the pain of rejection. Encounters were brief, and feedback was not done at the table - but through the computer later. That way, you don't face humiliation or rejection, or at least it's watered down with time and distance.

Better off just facing reality?

[underfiend.livejournal.com]

Yes, there is a lot of avoidance which is probably why some people don't write back. You can't be both picky and desperate... but I don't know about facing reality. Very few of us are capable of facing failure or rejection, even though that's how we become better people and grow.

There's really no easy answer to it, but at least some people can sleep more soundly knowing they "tried", or that their justification of there being "no good [potential mates] in this city" is supposedly sound.

One of the women I met at the first dating event said something like there were no guys there for her and wished me luck, saying she may see me at the next one. I thought that was pretty damn silly, but some people are like that. The shame of it is I had a better conversation after the dates.

[ex-dasboot.livejournal.com]

I don't think everyone who goes to those does so out of desperation, nor is everyone using eHarmony or Match.com obsessed with getting married as soon as possible, just an amount of people significantly large enough to skew the statistical results to a noticable level.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

< snicker >