(no subject)

[vicarz]

2:42 and I can't get back to sleep. Something about working out often leads to this - is it the massive post-workout food (a small sandwich?) being sore (no, not really) or some rebound effect?

Reading "The Logic of Life" by Tim Harford. These econ meets life books are killing me, thanks a lot Colin. They're like candy for people with 3 digit iqs. And cynics.

Take romance vs. economics. I had a friend telling me that in NY nobody looks at a female over 30 w/o kids like she's crazy. Well, according to sex in the city of NY 1.3 million males bounce around 1.8 million females. In fact, statistics show that overall urban environments have a higher % of males than rural in the industrialized world. Women in areas in which they outnumber men, even by a little bit, tend to be higher paid and more educated.

So not crazy perhaps just means not alone.

A while ago I was whining that girls all stated they want tall men. However, it turns out that in all studies (and certainly my experience) you choose what you have to choose from. Economics folks have been cruising "speed dating" for data, and finding sad realities:
Men choose twice as many possible mates as females
Everyone lowers their standards based on what is available. Big time. So much so it is comical. Women want tall, but settle quickly when no tall people are around (Mexico and Asia, here I come). Men want not overweight (I'm quoting here) but will settle when no thin women are around.
Or as noted in Silence of the Lambs, you first covet what you know?
If true, I should get the fuck out of gothdom and fast...

As housework got easier, both men and women started marrying at older ages. The division of labor became less important so there was no need to pair up? Divorce rates have shown steady trends related to developing nations, while female worker participation is related to lower rates of abuse. Bargaining power = love. Fascinating theories.

Still wish I could sleep. When I got up star trek, 5th element, and harvey birdman were on. Thank insomnia for cable. In 2 hours I might as well get up.

Comments

[turbogrrl.livejournal.com]

heh. "logic of life" has been sitting in a bag in the corner waiting for school to be over. I just packed it in my carry-on bag, then clicked on LJ. :p

[cweaselle.livejournal.com]

Not all people just take what they can. Some have patience & are willing to wait until someone they are interested in comes along. They are rare though. Not all women want tall men some just want nice ones. I think we know that everyone is different, but I wonder who they interviewed.

[have-inner-lady.livejournal.com]

Divorce rates have shown steady trends related to developing nations, while female worker participation is related to lower rates of abuse. Bargaining power = love.

Maybe. Or maybe it's not love. Relationships endure (or don't) for a lot of reasons, one of which is the usefulness each partner sees in the other in times when love isn't holding up. A woman with a job is useful in a very objective sense; her income makes finances easier, and money troubles are almost as universal as our DNA.

[pictsy.livejournal.com]

I really prefer being able to look a guy in the eye, rather than having to crane my neck. There's more of a sense of equality and partnership. Unfortunately it never seems to work out that way, though.

[underfiend.livejournal.com]

I agree with a lot of what you said.

I hate the whole height-est thought, but a lot of times, it's because the short person doesn't want short kids. However, if you're like me and don't want kids, that kinda makes the whole thing moot.

As far as settling, yes, many people are smart enough to make the best of limited options, but at the same time, I have been taken a little amused by how many people end up with others who are "not their type", and have experienced it happening from both sides. I even told one girl that since I wasn't her height req, it was her loss. My attitude about my "shortness" made her more attracted to me because I didn't really care... but that's a whole nothing thing. Stuff like that happens a lot and I've noticed most people honestly don't have a type or know what they want, though they may have an idea of what they think they'd like. The two can be very different.

Speed dating... oh my g, is that ever a statement of a lot of what's here. Yes, a lot of the women I met at these events went only once where as most of the guys were on their second or third event. It's always funny to see them figure out how they're going to work out the math of more guys showing up than girls, but I think some of these experiences / thoughts I have re: dating are based on the DC lifestyle, which is not to say it doesn't extend to other places, just that I'm sure things are different (from what I've seen in Canada, for instance, where people seem slightly more friendly and less "shallow" over all) in other places.

The marrying thing makes me happy, though, cause in a way I think we're doing more waiting till the time is right, but there are a number of factors in play here- not the least of which is longer life spans and the need to retire later in life.

I'm not sure about the whole covet what you know thing, but it does take time and desire to get away from what you are already acquainted with. Hell, I've met a bunch of cool people lately after just letting my guard down and realizing everyone doesn't need to fit into my scheme of what is an "interesting person".

[kelowna.livejournal.com]

I think women _may_ want men that are taller than they are. There are alot of short short women out there. And "taller" can simply be defined as an inch or two. Tho that is usually illustrative of being protective -- thing is, you can be tall and totally unprotective. Or you can be over-protective and all dumb ass agggro dude... which is TOTALLY _unattractive_ (at least to me).

Regardless, people have their tastes and their tastes are entirely subjective.

There is attraction then there is being able to live with. Attraction can fade with incompatability and attraction can grow with bonding.

---k

[ex-dasboot.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's my bias against speed dating events, but I imagine a significant amount of the people participating are already at a somewhat heightened level of desperation going in, so they would be more prone to settle for less. Speed Dating is great for gathering data, but I don't think the results accurately reflect non-speed dating behavior.

[frontdoorangel.livejournal.com]

I can't remember where I read the article but, several years ago I read something that said that most people end up marrying someone that has grown up within 5 miles of where they also grew up. I would be interested to see if this statistic has changed over the years.

I am only 5'2. Most men that I meet are taller than me though I must say some of the best sex I've ever had was with someone who was only 5'6. So, I don't think I'm that attached to height.

We totally covet what we know, I've had some serious co-worker/friend crushes, but, I also think there is a healthy desire for something completely different. 75% of my immediate family has married someone of a different race, religion, country ect.. than themselves.

I think it's interesting that while people are getting married later in life, that doesn't stop them from "pairing up" any earlier. I think this has less to do with economic/work related issues and more to do with the decline of marriage as an important institution or ceremony. Plenty of people live together, buy homes and cars together, share bank accounts, have children ect.. without getting married and I don't think that they are really doing it that much later than people were 20-30 years ago, they just aren't getting married.

[joanarkham.livejournal.com]

Hmm, no matter how you slice that, citizen_ken and I ruin the curve...

or neuropsychology

[fractalwoman.livejournal.com]

(voiding appropriate use of punctuation and grammar at this time)

the basic theory that has been found so far is based on neurochemicals in your brain. i read an article on this about three months ago. while statistical analysis can show the behavior, the neurochemistry, cultural mechanisms, and pheromones will explain why people really fall in love.

Pheromones, norepinephrine, and dopamine are the chemicals involved. Pulling from the article below:

"Two related brain peptides, vasopressin and oxytocin, have been shown to be involved in both the permanent or long-term social bonding that underlies mating," Kristal says. "The neurotransmitter dopamine, in a part of the brain called the VTA, is certainly involved in the rewarding properties of love and sex."

For back up reading, check here
The following seems pretty good but I do not have time to verify:
try here or here