vicarz | (no subject)

SNL meme because more interactions in the office may make me snap (and I don't mean the "band" or a queen's retort)

This is easy - just post your favorite off-the-top-of-your-memory lines from SNL

My name is Needleman...I'm an oral surgeon
She earned it the hard way...one quarter at a time
Tar baby! Honkey honkey! (Chase/Pryor)
Hiyaaaaaaaaaa! (Belushi)
Never mind! (Gross)
Jane you ignorant slut (yes I know I'm doing all the classics)
I've got a wife and kids...they need food, drugs...(belushi)
What's wrong with you people? How old are you? Have you ever been on a date with a woman? (Shatner)
Hey Sluggo!
Do them till your soregasms (Tim Kawasinski or something like that)
Do you love me? (Mango) (see also all bad-monkey skits)
I'm...and you're not...
The rain in Maine is mostly acid rain...and what do they do? Com-plain, complain...
(Jessie Jackson reading Dr. Suess in memoram)

(mine are all pretty much before Farely / Sandler)
(except that Sandler-Suaze dirty-dance-off skit, that was awesome)

Edit - yoinked a great internet social paradox article from perisomething8
http://www.wired.com/culture/lifestyle/commentary/alttext/2008/04/alttext_0423

Threaded | Flat

"I'm gonna get me a shotgun and kill all the whiteys I see!" -- sung by Garrett Morris in the great parole sketch.

"She earned it the hard way...one quarter at a time"

I totally remember that one!

How about...

"We've superheated this woman's fork... but she thinks she'll be biting into a piece of cold, creamy cheesecake. Let's see what happens!"

"Wow, that's terrific bass!"

"I just wanna be loved, is that so wrong?"

I've just got to have more cowbell.

[Trivial Psychic] You don't understand - you're WASTING COFFEE!

Tim Calhoun for president... like the country, I have a gas problem... and I am 10% gay.

"Kill my landlord...kill my landlord...C-I-L-L!"

"C-I-L-L, my landlord..."
-- Eddie Murphy, Mr. Robinson's neighborhood skit.
"I'm Gumby, dammit!" -- Eddie Murphy, umm, Gumby, dammit.

and, of course,

"candygram. ... land shark."

"The weatherman is dead!!!"
"It's not rocket science Jim... If the moon were made of ribs, would you eat it? Just say yes and we'll move on."
"I've seen better actin' in a can of tough actin' Tinactin!"
"Dear sister..."

"No coke, pepsi"
"I'm a hyper-hypo.."
"My shweaty balls.."

Victoria Jackson dancing on the Weekend Update desk after the Jessica Hahn brouhaha singing, "I am NOT! a BIMBO!"

"WHY aren't you CALLING?"
"It's fast enough for you...OLD...MAN"
"The Jawa's walk side by side to hide their numbe- what the fuck is a Jawa?"
"Because robots are strong and made of metal, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel"
"Next issue, what number am I thinking? Jimmyjimjohnjackyboy Jarmandooo...WRONG! The correct answer was 482"
"What's the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? One's a sick duck, I can't remember how it ends, but you're mother's a whore."
"Bill Brasky's family crest is a picture of a baracudda eating Neil Armstrong."
"You're a fucking dog"
"I don't know much about them Chinese, I know they stand about yay high and their women have sideways vaginas"
"No, Antonio No! Is too sexy!" "........but I must"
"Not only have I lost 65 pounds in four days, but guess what? I found out I'm the Devil! And I will wash over the Earth, and the seas will run red with the blood of sinners! I am reborn! And I've got YOU to thank, Jimmy Tango!"
"It's not rocket science. It's a simple question, would you eat the moon if it was made out of barbecue spare ribs? I know I would, hell I'd have seconds and wash it down with a frosty budweiser."

"You put your WEEEEEEED in there!"

I'll have to check this out for the Suess.

"...and now we dance." from Sprockets sketches.

"I am Hans." "Und I am Franz" "Und we are going to pump you up."