(no subject)

[vicarz]

I think I put together some of what I failed to say yesterday. I heard that Will Smith speech "Running and reading," and noted he talked about the voice in your head telling you to quit, and how to beat that voice. I thought about how I quit, then unquit.

There is always a reason to quit. There is also always a way to go on.

Cheesey motivational speaker aside, the same advice I give to others works for me (hence my advice lexicon). Calling me a pussy doesn't anger me to overcome, it just pisses me off. Trying not to quit doesn't work. Saying I'll take the pain x times more doesn't work. Telling me the pain will end...it's like dieting to lose weight. That's not a goal, that's an anti-goal, a negative goal. I will lose x, I will deny myself y, I will resist z. Losing weight isn't a goal, and what fun is it to sit in front of a cake and not eat it. I wonder how this applies to not cheating on a partner?

I will do this. I will run hard up to that lampost. I will continue to run until I'm panting through my mouth. I will pant through my mouth until it hurts my lungs. I will slow but to a slower run. I am going to speed up on the hill. My quads hurt but I can lean on my calves. My calves hurt so I'll push off more with my quads. I'll stop bouncing and make all my motion push forward. I know I can do this. Push harder on X. Reach for Y. Do Z. That works for me.

I am...proud. I don't care about goals - I have some weightlifting goals, but they don't matter. I will reach them, but then I'll have others. It doesn't matter if I learn to grapple better, strike harder, evade more. Fighting, winning, losing don't really matter. My job level doesn't matter. I'm not sure constantly setting goals really matters. Someone will always be faster, stronger, and more skilled than I am. But I will be better than I am.

Working towards goals matters. I'm proud of the fact that it's February and I'm running fast when last year I ran slow, and the year before that I didn't run at all when it went below 50. My 2 year ago is no longer acceptable - I've progressed beyond it. I'm working towards more, but what's important is the fact I'm better than I was. Your level doesn't matter, and that I'm sure I could have done more doesn't matter. I did this, with this, and I like it.

Not so proud of law school as I am of running up a hill in the cold rain.

Comments

[dashrippington.livejournal.com]

Can you attack your law studies like you do your workouts?

I think I like the non-gif version better...

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Theoretically yes, but sheer will doesn't work as well when the brain is involved. It's much easier to overtrain your brain - read past the point of absorbtion. Plus...I dunz gradumacated myselffs aw-weady.

[grymnir.livejournal.com]

I really like your point that there are goals and negative goals. I'd agree that the negative goal is harder to achieve, because you are aware every second that you are not doing something, or forcing yourself to do something that is about loss, rather than gain. Even the logic of work-out-to-lose-weight only has a "gain" in wearing something you have not been able to. In a similar vein a value-neutral goal is difficult; consider not weight maintenance, but the plateau when you lift, which means (for the serious) that they trade up their workout to emphasize something else.

Of course, there are biological limits to gain and no matter who you are the glands and endocrine system become less efficient with age, meaning that you will first plateau, and then fight against the downhill slide.

Re: I think I like the non-gif version better...

[dashrippington.livejournal.com]

congraduationals on yer passing!

[grymnir.livejournal.com]

"who is your sith lord? who? say it! That's right baby, the force interpenetrates us all and you're next."

[dashrippington.livejournal.com]

awwwww... queue up my back beat!

[vicar.livejournal.com]

I'm double the age of the first plateu...still growing. I know there is a slide, but I'll run up that hill the next time I see it's raining.

Wow motivational analogies are annoying!

[vicar.livejournal.com]

The geekery is strong with this one...

[grymnir.livejournal.com]

very annoying. As I have a few years on you, I am aware of the metabolic changes, but I will do what I do until I can't. I've been fortunate in that my joints are healthy, but my computer usag does lead to tendinitis in one hand and one elbow, which limits my lifting is certain ways...or...*can* limit my lifting. In that case it is not worth working through the pain because the pain is warning of damage.

By the same token I am not so psycho as Christian Bale's 1,000 crunches a day in "American Psycho" -- there just isn't the time, especially when my goals are physical and intellectual.

[panthergirl.livejournal.com]

Agree that working towards being 'better than I am' is the way to go. One race at a time. Thank you for the link/recommendation.

Side thought, using applied negative goals might make not cheating on a partner dependent on just how tempting that particular cake? Applied positive goals might mean that being able to posit a certain future together makes cheating not worth the risk.

Then again, maybe I'm just imagining the taste of chocolate genoise cake.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Yeah I'm not sure the analogy works everywhere. Is "staying faithful" a positive goal? I tend to think that it's better to cut off the "need" in the first place, rather than fight it. I don't quite get it...I used to want, but over time I've found I have no urge to cheat. I think cheating is just some gaping hole of need that people are unable to fill.

Perhaps achieving real goals fills in the hole that makes you long to fill it with fucking. Who knows. Perhaps analogies have limits.

[panthergirl.livejournal.com]

Probably. Romeo is Bleeding comes to mind. Lines in it always remind me of my divorce, some of the unsaid things that certainly aren't there, and that's the point, yes?

Pheromone research comes to mind as well. It's a fascinating subject. It makes me consider the subject in light of 'species survival'. On one hand, we are rational beings, and we choose our mates with our heads. On the other hand, we are animals, and we choose our mates based on immune response. Using these two generalizations as ideals, where does that leave the majority of the populace? Settling somewhere in the middle between an ideal mate based on rational thought, and an ideal mate based on pheromone response? (I know, the idealists will hate me now.)

This is not to provide an excuse for broken promises once made, from the sublime (love you forever, I'm not cheating) to the small (I'll call you), some people just have a pattern of breaking promises. It is only my attempt to intellectually "grok" experiences I've had that defy all my attempts to rationalize them. Although they do say that women have a "better" sense of smell than men, so perhaps we are more susceptible? What do you think?

[vicar.livejournal.com]

I think that all studies on phermone reactions in humans have been disproven by sounder research methods, but the very idea is compelling to explain those things we haven't yet measured or are difficult to track as of yet.

I'm afraid it's more about the mind, and basic behavior patterns.

[cweaselle.livejournal.com]

Doing better than yourself is the only way to go as far as I'm concerned.

[greatevil.livejournal.com]

I've been listening to the podcast from http://strengthnation.com/ (Just look for it on Itunes) for years now. He helps keep me pumped up on keeping my body going, talks about how to break out of slumps, how to make good choices and one of my fav things; the image. See you set an image in your mind of what you want to look like and how it is going to feel to look that way, what your going to be able to do. Then all your choices either support getting to that place or they don't. The clearer the image the easier it is to clean your diet, to get out of bed and hit the cold streets etc. I find it to be a great technique.

Funny thing is I've shifted from wanting a "weigh lifters" body to more wanting a trim and tight body, more wrestler style. So my choices change.

One of the other things he said that sticks with me is: Your either working twards your peek condition or your moving away. You are never at the top of your game for long. Which makes sense, you need down time if you just went to a one rep max, after a marathon you need to recoop some, you get hurt you get sick you get locked in a small room with 6 hookers and a pile of ho-ho's shit happens. But the fun thing is that every time you hit the top and move back down, if your doing it right the mark will move up each time you get there. I've been serious about my body for a few years now, not showing your kind of progress but each time I get a bit closer to where I want to be, hell I'm in size 33 pants and started at what probably should have been 40ies.