(no subject)

[vicarz]

I think I put together some of what I failed to say yesterday. I heard that Will Smith speech "Running and reading," and noted he talked about the voice in your head telling you to quit, and how to beat that voice. I thought about how I quit, then unquit.

There is always a reason to quit. There is also always a way to go on.

Cheesey motivational speaker aside, the same advice I give to others works for me (hence my advice lexicon). Calling me a pussy doesn't anger me to overcome, it just pisses me off. Trying not to quit doesn't work. Saying I'll take the pain x times more doesn't work. Telling me the pain will end...it's like dieting to lose weight. That's not a goal, that's an anti-goal, a negative goal. I will lose x, I will deny myself y, I will resist z. Losing weight isn't a goal, and what fun is it to sit in front of a cake and not eat it. I wonder how this applies to not cheating on a partner?

I will do this. I will run hard up to that lampost. I will continue to run until I'm panting through my mouth. I will pant through my mouth until it hurts my lungs. I will slow but to a slower run. I am going to speed up on the hill. My quads hurt but I can lean on my calves. My calves hurt so I'll push off more with my quads. I'll stop bouncing and make all my motion push forward. I know I can do this. Push harder on X. Reach for Y. Do Z. That works for me.

I am...proud. I don't care about goals - I have some weightlifting goals, but they don't matter. I will reach them, but then I'll have others. It doesn't matter if I learn to grapple better, strike harder, evade more. Fighting, winning, losing don't really matter. My job level doesn't matter. I'm not sure constantly setting goals really matters. Someone will always be faster, stronger, and more skilled than I am. But I will be better than I am.

Working towards goals matters. I'm proud of the fact that it's February and I'm running fast when last year I ran slow, and the year before that I didn't run at all when it went below 50. My 2 year ago is no longer acceptable - I've progressed beyond it. I'm working towards more, but what's important is the fact I'm better than I was. Your level doesn't matter, and that I'm sure I could have done more doesn't matter. I did this, with this, and I like it.

Not so proud of law school as I am of running up a hill in the cold rain.

Comments

[greatevil.livejournal.com]

I've been listening to the podcast from http://strengthnation.com/ (Just look for it on Itunes) for years now. He helps keep me pumped up on keeping my body going, talks about how to break out of slumps, how to make good choices and one of my fav things; the image. See you set an image in your mind of what you want to look like and how it is going to feel to look that way, what your going to be able to do. Then all your choices either support getting to that place or they don't. The clearer the image the easier it is to clean your diet, to get out of bed and hit the cold streets etc. I find it to be a great technique.

Funny thing is I've shifted from wanting a "weigh lifters" body to more wanting a trim and tight body, more wrestler style. So my choices change.

One of the other things he said that sticks with me is: Your either working twards your peek condition or your moving away. You are never at the top of your game for long. Which makes sense, you need down time if you just went to a one rep max, after a marathon you need to recoop some, you get hurt you get sick you get locked in a small room with 6 hookers and a pile of ho-ho's shit happens. But the fun thing is that every time you hit the top and move back down, if your doing it right the mark will move up each time you get there. I've been serious about my body for a few years now, not showing your kind of progress but each time I get a bit closer to where I want to be, hell I'm in size 33 pants and started at what probably should have been 40ies.