(no subject)

[vicarz]

I'm losing fat, or hope I am because my breath is disgusting if the taste in my mouth is any indicator. No mouthwash, brush, or mint seems to help. Acetone? Yesterday the scale said 135.2 in the evening, then 137.4. The mirror says I'm fat so I'm reducing caloric intake. I missed some workouts.

The nurses seem to keep their distance. They work 3 12-hour shifts in a row, then are rotated to different patients. They act distanced to friends and family - friendly, helpful, but I've never had one engage in conversation. I don't blame them - like a rebound lover, feelings towards them would be more likely based on the health of the relative/friend than real. I know I wouldn't want to face the love OR wrath of families who lost their loved ones, and the faces they saw every day included my own. Do I like that nurse as a person, or was she here on a good-health day? Would I hate the nurse from the day he died? The doctor? The janitor who cleaned up the mess? I fight the urge to bake them cookies for the group, though I did pimp truffles to them for a few weeks.

It is taking everything not to drink right now. Not just alcohol, but coffee or coke, anything with any drug that might affect my mood. I can't see a single positive thing in the future, I don't even see a future, so I look back and don't like what I see - all the good memories are bad memories with what I know today. Funny, with my dad gone I don't know who I'd call for late-night jail bails, hospital emergencies, or even a ride to the airport. Who do I trust with money, with life/death, or my legal issues?

Dad's got a fever again, he still has that antibiotic resistant bug thingy, and they can't get him off the vent - he is not eliminating CO2 from his system on his own. The hospital has basically said they think they've done all they can for him. I've been to the hospital every day since about August 14.

Funny, when I was finishing law school I looked forward to the ability to read for recreation again. Now, when I'm in the hospital for hours a day with my unconscious relative, I read a metric ton for lack of anything else to do. He doesn't want the radio, tv, or music on much anymore. I wished I had the time to spend with someone close to me. Be careful what you wish for. God or not, irony is a powerful mistress.

Tomorrow I go to Canada and see Kel, thank cheese. Hopefully seeing nothing that reminds me of home, recent past, family, or any of that will help me break the mood - no reminders. The other thing is that it's still warm in Toronto, which is good because the entire city is full of hotties that walk around naked. Seriously - it's like a legal nudist paradise, Canada. They have concrete, but if you break glass the penalties are serious jail time (due to so many people being barefoot). I may just sit in a coffee cafe with Kel and watch naked people walk by.

Comments

[pictsy.livejournal.com]

I wished I had the time to spend with someone close to me.

Oof.

[judgefudge.livejournal.com]

I'm losing fat, or hope I am because my breath is disgusting if the taste in my mouth is any indicator. No mouthwash, brush, or mint seems to help. Acetone? Yesterday the scale said 135.2 in the evening, then 137.4.

If you're hovering around the same range you may not be ketonic. How often do you floss? Obviously if you don't or haven't in a while, something may be stuck; but in addition, if you floss irregularly, it may be that you've initiated some bleeding that has stopped but remnants persist. Is the taste metallic? If you have any fillings that may be an issue too. Or, you may have postnasal drip issues. Do you use a tongue scraper?

Brushing is for losers

[vicar.livejournal.com]

I remember someone trying to teach me how to say "I'll lick you until it feels like a cat's tongue" in French. But I just saw the dentist for my semi-annual, always floss, but don't scrape.

Re: Brushing is for losers

[judgefudge.livejournal.com]

May just be a postnasal drip thing. Scraping works, but I'm a bigger fan of jala neti (sinus wash). You prone to sinus problems?

[bentrazor.livejournal.com]

Wait, what do fat loss and bad breath have to do with one another? I'm genuinely curious.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure i buy it, but I've been told that when you lose weight through caloric restriction that you burn acetone somehow in your lungs, giving you bad breath. Sounds like hippie-shit to me, and I want a cookie.

via wikipedia

[judgefudge.livejournal.com]

Acetone, acetoacetate and beta-hydroxybutyrate are ketones (or ketone bodies) generated from carbohydrates, fatty acids and amino acids in humans and most vertebrates. Ketones are elevated in blood after fasting including a night of sleep, and in both blood and urine in starvation, hypoglycemia due to causes other than hyperinsulinism, various inborn errors of metabolism, and ketoacidosis (usually due to diabetes mellitus). Although ketoacidosis is characteristic of decompensated or untreated type 1 diabetes, ketosis or even ketoacidosis can occur in type 2 diabetes in some circumstances as well. Acetoacetate and beta-hydroxybutyrate are an important fuel for many tissues, especially during fasting and starvation. The brain, in particular, relies heavily on ketone bodies as a substrate for lipid synthesis and for energy during times of reduced food intake.

That said, the food intake especially carbohydrate intake needs to be severely reduced for a substantial period of time. This is most evident on the low-carb diets like Atkins. They go ketonic within a month.

[underfiend.livejournal.com]

Isn't that the same thing that builds up in muscles? Then, thin fit people should stink all the time?

No wonder everyone keeps telling me I smell nice.

[bentrazor.livejournal.com]

I think that's lactic acid. No idea how that one smells though.

[judgefudge.livejournal.com]

It doesnt have much of a smell, I have a bottle of it for homebrewing.

The only thing I can say it smells like is that it smells like malt vinegar without the acridity. If that means anything.

[thefeline.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry about your father. I hope you have a great time in Canada with Kel!!

yah. have a great time!

[cyaneyed.livejournal.com]

i'll do my best to think good things for your dad in a positive thinking kinda way. :)

his body's doing its thing, with or without you watchin, so go do your own thing.

*yawn*

take pictures. put them on flickr. send me link.

Re: yah. have a great time!

[vicar.livejournal.com]

I only have pics on LK - I haven't done flikr or multiply