(no subject)

[vicarz]

I'm not independent.

I mean I am in many ways. I do things myself, and stubbornly refuse help. I self-motivate, self-control, and have been financially independent for ages. But emotionally? I can tell people to fuck off, I have self-respect...but I act on some need to feel a part of a group. Evidence:
* when a relationship ends, one of the hardest things for me is not having someone to share things with. When I'm with someone, I tend to store up the little stories they might find funny or interesting. At the end, I find myself stuck with these stories and no place to "put" them. Freshly single I feel like there is a hole in my life no matter where I am or whether they would be there with me or not.
* when single, there is always a friend there for me. There is always someone to share stories with. I think of them when things happen, rather than just report the story later (there are different friends for different types of activities).
* LJ - nuff said. What kind of poor substitution for social interaction or group affiliation is this?

It just seems like I'm not satisfied living life for myself. I don't smell a flower and just enjoy it, I want to share it with others either directly or through reporting. I don't want to drive down the road in a flashy car impressing strangers, but I do want to share important things with important people.

Comments

[sunnyfunny.livejournal.com]

Man is a social creature by nature... don't you think it's more of a reflection of the generosity of you spirit to share rather than horde your exeriences? I think admitting to some degree of dependance on others is rather freeing, as opposed to thinly veiled attempts to assert independance. I think that because once you know you need other people, you can focus on yourself, having the courage to do things you might otherwise be too scared of doing because you know you have a support system in place. Having friends doesn't mean your not independant.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Sigh...or is it just codependence? I know people who don't care who knows what...they don't burst with excitement when they have to keep secrets, they just don't care. THEY scare me.

[pastor-saturn.livejournal.com]

Um, you just pretty much sound human to me...

[wikkidgothbabe.livejournal.com]

Congratulations! You're human.

[hollowindigo.livejournal.com]

I'm exactly the same way :/

stupid being single...

[vicar.livejournal.com]

We're both single by choice though. It doesn't always feel like it, but I know I turned past a lot of doors.

[calibraxis-x.livejournal.com]

I think all that is very normal. although that's comming from someone who has actual, diagnosed personality disorders.

[translucent-eye.livejournal.com]

When I'm with someone, I tend to store up the little stories they might find funny or interesting.

I think I would find it strange if people didn't do this. I've always found it baffling to come across a couple that doesn't seem to enjoy each other's company. If sitting and talking to them is not enough, if you don't from time to time get lost together from the rest of the world I find that bizarre.

There is always someone to share stories with. I think of them when things happen, rather than just report the story later

I tend to do this alot too. I can be having a great time enjoying great company and often think to myself that this would be better if so-and-so was here, and I'd also love for them to share this experience and this wonderful time.

LJ - nuff said. What kind of poor substitution for social interaction or group affiliation is this?

I agree. At some point in time, livejournal went from a place to write and keep up to a social requirement - filled with all the dramas of life that I'd rather avoid. I want to get back to writing for the sake of writing, but more and more I feel that I need to find another venue for it. And livejournal rarely fills any social void these days.

It just seems like I'm not satisfied living life for myself. I don't smell a flower and just enjoy it, I want to share it with others either directly or through reporting. I don't want to drive down the road in a flashy car impressing strangers, but I do want to share important things with important people.

This is not a bad thing at all. I find myself wanting to share more with the important people rather then everyone on my livejournal. I guess I still need to figure out what part of my life I want LJ to be. What purpose does it have, and is it a good thing for me.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

That's much easier when you have an open schedule and can take the time to do uh...friend maintenance. Or so I think, having no spare time.

[colinmac.livejournal.com]

Yeah, let me chime in with the folks saying that this just means you're not a complete sociopath.

[cweaselle.livejournal.com]

What you're looking on as a weakness, I see as one of your strenghts. It's good to share your fun with others. It's not impressing people, it's sharing. You're sharing pieces of yourself with someone else. Unless I've been being an ass my whole life and never noticed...

[freja999.livejournal.com]

le sigh! indeed, i'm having a moment like this as well. but you already know that.