(no subject)

[vicarz]

Today I am more than a little weary of the term "gay" being used as a negative adjective. It's tired, old, hurtful or at least inconsiderate, and unimaginative. I'm hitting the point where I more than a little sick of shrugging off "that's gay," "so gay," "gay!" Throw in a bunch of straight guys mocking one another with homoerotic allusions about each other...ugh. I'm hitting it in droves at work, on the internet duh, and in multiple social groups. Did someone announce it was ok to rag on fags again and forget to cc me the memo? The sheer volume is making it prickle my otherwise thick skin.

When I haul off and nail someone, understand it was the straw that broke the fag's back. Come to think of it, I should run off and fuck a guy just for further justification. I'm not a very convincing fag as of late. I worked long and hard to earn this title...

Last night I fell asleep while reading "Freakonomics." I did exactly what I wanted to do, had some fruit slices and read a book. This AM I finished my book, and installed two IKEA light fixtures. I no longer have a crappy flourescent light in the kitchen - now I have IKEA track-like lighting spotlights in the kitchen...but the GLIMT didn't work out so well in the dining room. I can't figure out how to shorten the wire, and it hangs at my head level with its shortest adjustment. Worse, it doesn't work with the dimmer switch, so out it goes. Now I just want to talk about lighting...which is pretty gay.

I thought about doing more with the LJ, but now I'm just using it for some sort of talk-to-myself masturbation. Affirmation. I have over 150 people on my firends list, so affirmation is pretty easy to get. Someone will always find my picture pretty, but that doesn't make me attractive. More people taking off their clothes on the internet need to learn that. A lot of people finding you "hot" is nothing like the ratio of people that find you hot - more importantly the ratio of people who find you hot when your tits aren't hanging out. Oh, and affirmation for the things you write? It takes 10 seconds to read and respond to a post that you bump into. If you feel that presenting one side of an argument to your internet friends and getting supportive feedback means a thing, you really need a perspective jolt. Can I get an amen!?

Comments

[mohawkadam.livejournal.com]

I've used it myself recently, but only in the nicest possible of wayz, I'd like to imagine in good fun, but point taken. I've gotta keep that road to hell paved with something, ya' know...

[(Anonymous)]

Someone will always find my picture pretty, but that doesn't make me attractive. More people taking off their clothes on the internet need to learn that. A lot of people finding you "hot" is nothing like the ratio of people that find you hot - more importantly the ratio of people who find you hot when your tits aren't hanging out. Oh, and affirmation for the things you write? It takes 10 seconds to read and respond to a post that you bump into. If you feel that presenting one side of an argument to your internet friends and getting supportive feedback means a thing, you really need a perspective jolt. Can I get an amen!?

Very, very well put.

There needs to be less medicore Internet Model photography all up and down my friends list. Only the photographer, the model and a handful of sychopants find it "so cool! so hot! wow!" Really. The people need to stop, pick up a book on a reknowned photographer through the ages and compare.

In addition, the whole concept of making a post friends-only and then presenting your side of the arguements and getting, as you utilize above "amens" is effectively speaking to yourself. Gauge reality by those that don't say a damn thing.

In terms of your "gay" or "fag" commentary. How about leading by example. I'm sick of people demanding certain political correctness when they find something offense but have no problem with tossing the words around themselves cause they are "gay/black/jewish" so they have a RIGHT to.

--kelowna

[kelowna.livejournal.com]

weird, anon, well at least i signed it ;)

jump on AIM y0

--kelowna

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Thank you - that was really just an off the cuff rant. I meant to write a book review of Freakonomics and got stuck on a tangent.

Guilty as charged, but to be cliche IT'S DIFFERENT.

Like the racial slur I'm not using right now, it's ok to use the term when it's a friendly term and you're a member of the group. Calling your gay friend "fag" the way a punk might say "fuck you" to a friend (meaning hello, how are you) is a bit different than saying that when someone cuts you off in traffic that they're "gay."

You've got a point, but I still think it's find for group members to both use it and be pissed when non-group members do. Big dif between a black guy referring to himself and the same word used by a white guy from Alabama.

[turbogrrl.livejournal.com]

so, just to back up this thread, i'll repost:

amen, you fag!

love & kisses,

-a big fat queer

[wabmart.livejournal.com]

Just curious, what's your take on the phrase "[something] sucks"?

[vicar.livejournal.com]

At least it's an activity everyone can partake in, but there is a point in there. Sucking is a generally pleasurable activity for both parties, though abusive straight guys will use it as derogatory as though the sucker is subservient to the suckee. Everyone seems to accept the use of the term with even the sexual connotation being tolerated where expletives are not. Interesting.

[wabmart.livejournal.com]

But it can't be denied that the term originally was equivalent to "you're homosexual", and that that was considered an insult.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

I've never heard that. I can see it, but it seems an equal sexuality insult - is it any less derogatory if used about felatio from a woman? I've used the term of decades and never took it as homo - perhaps my experience is odd?

[wabmart.livejournal.com]

The term was generalized and weakened decades ago. There was a time when one wouldn't insult -- let alone use [i]that[/i] sort of language around -- a woman, thus explaining that.

With guys, then, "you suck" is really "you suck [dick]", i.e.: you're gay. The only difference between "this sucks" and "that's gay" is how recently the terms were universally applied negatively to homosexual men.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

That makes sense but is not consistent with my redneck upbringing. It was a derogatory term when referring to a woman sucking your dick. Was your definition more prevelant than the one I experienced?

[greekphilosophy.livejournal.com]

I had your experience - the reference of "suck" was always referring to in a generic sense and was an equal opportunity insult connoting subservience.

I think that the original poster has a good point though, and one that I've occasionally considered. Is it WORSE for a guy to tell another guy that he "sucks" because it connotes gayness AND subservience?

Either way, I try to avoid the phrase, just because I'm officially trying to be a nice person.

As for "that/it's/you're so gay" - I quit an online game because all of the idiots who got on to it would use gay or fag as a negative adjective. I played it for probably six months, reporting people to the game repeatedly for using derogatory language like that. Obviously, since I quit, it was a losing battle.

I think that I was having to confront the fact that I live in a really insulated bubble in my life. I am at a law school where someone could find themselves in a world of trouble for making a derogatory remark like that, even in passing. I have only friends who wouldn't DREAM of saying something as un-PC as "that's so gay" unles...ya know...it was gay.

I happen to like my little bubble. It isn't an ivory tower, exactly. Because I'm eventually going to end up in a workplace that is equally tolerant (or heads will roll). It's more of my own personally constructed rainbow tower.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Good luck on maintaining that bubble after law school. One of the last bastions of discrimination is the field of law, or so I've heard.

[greekphilosophy.livejournal.com]

I think I ought to be able to remain inside my bubble after school. It may get smaller and harder to maintain, but I think I can do it.

Mainly because I'm going into public interest work. :)

[ex-dasboot.livejournal.com]

The best comment I ever heard on this subject of the PCness of the "that's gay" phenomenon:

Well, how else are you supposed to describe fanny packs?

[http://users.livejournal.com/---corvus/]

most random post ever.
1. the word gay being used as a derogatory term
2. light fixtures.
3. internet camera whores.
amen.

Bravo

[vicar.livejournal.com]

I'm an internet gay-light-fixture whore!

[desiringmachine.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I wish I was a big black Jewish lesbian so I could beat the shit out of people for their gay/jewish/dark comments.