(no subject)

[vicarz]

Last night class was canceled even though school was open. I'm way ahead in my studies in once sense, as in all but one class I'm still working on-pace with the syllabus. I was going to be 100% caught up, but a glance at my writing class uncovered an unexpected 4 more hours of prep time which ate my night right up.

I think I enjoy this. The sick sick truth exposed, but while I'm tired I always feel like I have something important to do. It's not a choice, it's a mission. I've pushed aside love, lovers, friends, family, my physical and mental health, all for this...study of law? Push to get grades? In my mind, not matter how often I joke that I choose to do this and could quit, it's not an option. I think if I ever believed for a moment that it was optional that I'd quit. Law school is like a long drawn-out version of "gimmie one more rep."

I'm slow. Many of my classmates do far more in far less time. I catch up with them through sheer force of will. I'm the boxer who wins the fight through heart rather than skill. I can't possibly win, but I refuse to go down.

There are crumbs on the counter. Last night I pushed last week's dry laundry to the side to hang new laundry. I can see debris on the floor, and don't even know where the vacuum is - probably helping dry something black. The bathroom floor is covered with black lint. Books and paper form a nest around my chair.

In other news I told my boss I am going to jail. She gave me that look. I said well I don't know exactly for how long, or when...but the next time that Asian guy gets on my metro-train and sings a hymn...I'm bound to snap.

Comments

[greatevil.livejournal.com]

So at the end of the journy do you know what kind of law you want to do?

I think that if you started to take down the hym guy the rest of the train would join you in taking him out. I've heard many people complain about him.

[anarcha.livejournal.com]

"There are crumbs on the counter. Last night I pushed last week's dry laundry to the side to hang new laundry. I can see debris on the floor, and don't even know where the vacuum is - probably helping dry something black. The bathroom floor is covered with black lint. Books and paper form a nest around my chair."

It's good to see I'm not the only one.

I usually rate how busy I am by how many light fixures in my house have working lightbulbs.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

I'm not even sure I want to do law at all.

I doubt anyone would assist, rather they might assist him. Even Mr. Ranty Fighty guy me doesn't actually do anything but mutter and groan. Today I got in his face and said "That is extremely rude," which was what I boiled myself down to in the spirit of civility. People are pussies.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

I'm missing a lightbulb as well (one is a lot for me) and I haven't cleaned the dead bugs out of light fixtures.

You are getting something for your efforts, where I am simply watching my account balance flatline.

[translucent-eye.livejournal.com]

it says to speak my mind, so I ask the question that I have often wondered. Does posting about the trials of law school help you get it out of your head, does it help with the encouragement from others, or does it serve to remind yourself of why it is you are doing it.

As I push through tough things - family issues, work issues, company issues, school issues I find that dwelling on the issues just tends to make things harder and more drawn out. I'm sure with your psychology background you have thought a bit about this. I will say that I think back to the days of my undergrad when I was also working two jobs, and had no life and say I don't think I could ever do it again. And would I do it the same way again if given the chance....I'm not quite sure.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

First impulse answer is I don't know. I write things that I think about, particularly if I think about them a lot. I typically work things out by talking about them. I suppose by talking about it I'm being social in a way. There isn't any particular reaction I'm seeking to elicit. I think getting it out of my head is the best answer, though there are lawyer people on this list who I like to think commiserate or reflect on how their lives do not currently suck by comparison. Perhaps for the prospective law students it's a robed bony figure, sticking out his crooked finger, and saying in his raspy voice "Turn back...back...before it's to laaaateeee"

[translucent-eye.livejournal.com]

Well - having had a law office as a client for Innotac for about 5 years now, and seeing the crops of lawyers coming and going - all under the direction of the same lawyer/owner who is all to willing to still be working at 2 a.m. any day of the week...I will say that the ones that are sucessful and living live and being a lawyer are the ones that push back.

He always talks about the few that were there til 2 a.m. with him...who are the same ones that used to complain to me about how hard working there was, and how too much was expected of them. They aren't the ones that lasted for more then a year before moving on to find better lives. It is the ones that pushed back that have stayed...and if I can fortell the future, one of them will become a partner in a few months when the owner finally has a kid, and realizes that he needs to put his trust into someone else.

Sadly....he trusts me and my business partner who handle his IT more then any of his lawyers.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

So the message is...work like a slave to own my own firm or win over a workaholic? What does "push back" mean? I think you're saying the ones that had a lower "fuck you, I'm going home" threshold made it, but I'm not sure.

I have no such choice - my work is just 40 hours and school is what I make of it. I could just sort-of attend classes and then panic/cram for the exams, but my current insane try-hard schedule is only netting me a 3.17 gpa, bottom of the top third class rank. Less effort would certainly result in less rank.

[translucent-eye.livejournal.com]

That was more for the after law school - was it worth it question.

Its the people the gave in and worked all day and night, and every weekend and weekend night that ended up getting screwed over in the end. Not so much as in not being financially rewarded, but the ones that said 'I've got to go home' had more staying power, and lasted until the end.

But if you want to know where he was when he was working for a law firm for a few years, to where he advanced through the last 5 years as he opened his own practice...I can tell you. I won't put it on LJ though. Lets just say even if he hadn't decided to be a workaholic setting up his own practice was well worth it.

[sunnyfunny.livejournal.com]

"I think I enjoy this. The sick sick truth exposed, but while I'm tired I always feel like I have something important to do. It's not a choice, it's a mission. I've pushed aside love, lovers, friends, family, my physical and mental health, all for this...study of law?"

You're a masochist. I love that about you! :-D I think it's cool that you actually enjoy the theory behind law rather than just pursuing the money. It's why I quit pre-law, I couldn't forsee being an actual lawyer even though I enjoyed all the classes. That being said: Go make enough money, then pursue your other passions. :-p I have a couple of lawyer friends who pursue music by other means. One is lucky enough to own a reasonably fashionable club and the other is a fledgling producer/promoter/dj. I also have an investment banker friend who is a (very) small label owner/dj.

Can't get you outta my mind...

[sunnyfunny.livejournal.com]

P.S. *insert some sexual innuendo about slow and steady*

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Good points. I have already decided (subject to revision) to be very open about my non-desire to work for 80 hours a week regardless of pay. I'm willing to work for a salary commiserate with my hours per week. If a lawyer makes 200k at 80 hours a week, leave me at 40. Then again, I already make a reasonable amount with Federal work so I may not leave Federal at all.

I know the sicko bling-bling that is available to the hard-working lawyers, but even if I was interested - I am ten years behind many legal peers. I would have far less time to enjoy the fruits of my labor. Plus, people who get that caught up in it seem not to escape - they just die rich and leave the fruit to their punk-rock ungreatful spoiled kids.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

I think I'm just a forward thinking slacker. I don't wanna just go nuts in law when I get out though - I've wasted enough youth on study and work. I need more time to enjoy. It seems absurd to lean back and enjoy the rewards when my body as started to come apart at the seams. What if I die at 60? Shame to work for a goal only to not get the reward.

[blimpcaptain.livejournal.com]

The Asian hymn-singing guy is a harmless eccentric. If you can't tune him out for the two minutes you're on the car with him, you needz to chill!

If he's singing a hymn I'm familiar with, I'll join in...not because I give a damn about the content of the tune, but because he fucking ROCKS!!!

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Oh hell no. Many of us get some very needed down-time on the metro. That muthafugga has interrupted more naps - and why? So he can shove his fucking god down our throats. I'll ram something through him, and everyone will be glad. Death to the non-infidels!

[cweaselle.livejournal.com]

So, what now your place is almost as dirty as most other people's? ;p

[blimpcaptain.livejournal.com]

Like I said, I don't give a rat's ass about the content. I'm a fucking heathen-beyond-compare, but I dig the singing. The metro ain't'cher damned crib...I'm all for the singing! I'll be sure to crank up a tender rendition of "Jesus Loves The Little Children" if I ever see you kickin' around on there, just to poke you for your anti-karaoke stance. ;-)

[vicar.livejournal.com]

No! I'm trying to sleep! The train is just a big qualude for those of us who wheel into work at 7am. Those who set off the alarm with no snooze shall be dstroyed. The religious overtones just blur the real crime. He doens't do it in the day - just when you're trying to sleep.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Come clean and make candy.

[blimpcaptain.livejournal.com]

He's a bright, shining beacon of hope in these troubled times. He's letting you and everyone else know that it's time to (figuratively, and sometimes literally) WAKE THE FUCK UP!

I know what you're saying, Jose...I'm just giving you a hard time, 'cuz hey, what are friends for? ;-) (Yeah, yeah, I know...they aren't for encouraging weird Asian guys to croon hymns first thing in the morning on metro trains!)

[vicar.livejournal.com]

(I know, but I like the yelling!)

[blimpcaptain.livejournal.com]

:-)