(no subject)

[vicarz]

Last night class was canceled even though school was open. I'm way ahead in my studies in once sense, as in all but one class I'm still working on-pace with the syllabus. I was going to be 100% caught up, but a glance at my writing class uncovered an unexpected 4 more hours of prep time which ate my night right up.

I think I enjoy this. The sick sick truth exposed, but while I'm tired I always feel like I have something important to do. It's not a choice, it's a mission. I've pushed aside love, lovers, friends, family, my physical and mental health, all for this...study of law? Push to get grades? In my mind, not matter how often I joke that I choose to do this and could quit, it's not an option. I think if I ever believed for a moment that it was optional that I'd quit. Law school is like a long drawn-out version of "gimmie one more rep."

I'm slow. Many of my classmates do far more in far less time. I catch up with them through sheer force of will. I'm the boxer who wins the fight through heart rather than skill. I can't possibly win, but I refuse to go down.

There are crumbs on the counter. Last night I pushed last week's dry laundry to the side to hang new laundry. I can see debris on the floor, and don't even know where the vacuum is - probably helping dry something black. The bathroom floor is covered with black lint. Books and paper form a nest around my chair.

In other news I told my boss I am going to jail. She gave me that look. I said well I don't know exactly for how long, or when...but the next time that Asian guy gets on my metro-train and sings a hymn...I'm bound to snap.

Comments

[vicar.livejournal.com]

No! I'm trying to sleep! The train is just a big qualude for those of us who wheel into work at 7am. Those who set off the alarm with no snooze shall be dstroyed. The religious overtones just blur the real crime. He doens't do it in the day - just when you're trying to sleep.

[blimpcaptain.livejournal.com]

He's a bright, shining beacon of hope in these troubled times. He's letting you and everyone else know that it's time to (figuratively, and sometimes literally) WAKE THE FUCK UP!

I know what you're saying, Jose...I'm just giving you a hard time, 'cuz hey, what are friends for? ;-) (Yeah, yeah, I know...they aren't for encouraging weird Asian guys to croon hymns first thing in the morning on metro trains!)

[vicar.livejournal.com]

(I know, but I like the yelling!)

[blimpcaptain.livejournal.com]

:-)