vicarz | (no subject)

If my hands smell like balls, I'm sorry but it's cold in here.

I was walking to work today when I noticed the sign on a bus parked across the street from the hotel by my house "Finnish gymnastics team." Oh. My. God. All my circus de soleil fantasies...and I have no time to run across the street and commit felonies. Someone come over here and masturbate me whilst I study! The reality of a bunch of obnoxious sweaty teens be damned - it's good fantasy material.

I ran up the stairs to work, 1-2-3-4-...missing. He's gone. For weeks I've stepped over the same 2-3" long roach on the stairs - he always took the time to wave with all 6-8 legs. It seems the janitorial staff do clean the stairs. I feel like I've lost a friend. 1-2-3-4-roach...my count is off. 1-2-3-4-roach. 1-2-3-4-I don't see no roach no more.

My jeans are tight on me. Funny thing is it is not because I'm fat! My quads are so large now, and yes they're all muscle bitch, that my pants make me look like a male hooker. I need to get some loose-fitting jeans (but with my same ol waist of 29"). I like this yummy bod...my skinny co-worker is also very body-concious, altering his shirts to show off his skinny waist. Then again he talks about wearing mid-riff exposing tank-tops to Miami clubs GEE I WONDER IF HE'S GAY. I like my beefy bits better.

Worst foamy cartoon ever. Do not view jiggly butt.

It turns out I am voting for Bush on the issues. Are you? http://www.perturb.org/election/

You want substance? It's friday, bite me.