(no subject)

[vicarz]

Something is just wrong. Rise above it, ignore it, or figure out what. Seems this sort of thing shouldn't be a problem at this age, this level of knowledge, this level of experience. The more I achieve the less tolerant I feel of others, including myself. Failings scorned.

In other more clear 'news,' mood is plummeting for obvious temporary reasons. Although the weird back/neck/shoulder/now-chest thing is getting better, I still feel lame. If you're not very into your physical health it's probably hard to imagine how shitty it feels to have lost something you normally feel like you excell at and appreciate throughout every day. I haven't gone out to anything social in about a month and probably won't for another month. Work is stressful as hell right now, no end in sight, and exams are coming up.

I'm sinking myself 100% into school. My meeting with Boardman was the last straw in convincing me I can get better grades. I don't watch much tv, barely computer (even at work now), not much phone, and no appearances in public. I'm 100% trying to get grades this semester. I see this as insanity with an end, which is good, but it leaves me downright hostile right now. Moreso as I feel like I can't engage in physical conflict.

One of my boobies is soft.

Comments

but soft bo0bies are nice, aren't they? *puzzled look*

[nixieq.livejournal.com]

aww, i was hoping you'd be at ChairSchool this weekend, since i'll be down there for once. alas! good luck with your grades, and i do hope your back and so forth feel better soon. *hugs*

[coronalrain.livejournal.com]

good luck dude. and i do know about how the lack of physical exercise can mess with the psyche. semester is almost over right... at least that is what i keep telling myself

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Yup - and I've survied worse moods for longer. I actually enjoy work and school production, so sinking into it I do feel ok. It's just that mental inbetween time. I've chosen this course though, after the spirit-lifting confidence-building moment with my K prof, and knowing I'm only weeks away from the end of my 'sentence.'

[coronalrain.livejournal.com]

yeah that inbetween time can really mess with you. i think i was settled in ok at one point, but now i feel burny and ready to be done with this...oh well... only 2 more semesters after this and then i am outta here

[thefeline.livejournal.com]

If you need me to help you with the "heavy lifting" okay...not *that* heavy ;) But, for like grocery shopping...laundry stuff. Please let me know...okay?

If the Taco House were drive through...would offer to drop of tacos ;) Taco Bell just can't compare! heh.

If you need me to drop a care package by...lemme know...I promise not to be social ;)

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I'm fine though. No one can help with the lunacy, and help makes me cringe being independent and all that.

[thefeline.livejournal.com]

Okey dokey. I just know how tough it was for me when my back would go out...ya know? www.peapod.com is great unless they're out of what you want.

Offer stands...just lemme know ;) Hope you heal soon. And hope the lunacy calms down ;)

[chadu.livejournal.com]

The more I achieve the less tolerant I feel of others, including myself. Failings scorned.

I'm suffering from this more and more myself.

Started off as arrogant prick. Became more egalitarian, up with people. Starting to get pissed at folks because "If I can do this, and I'm a fuck-up, you should be able to, too." Possibility arising that maybe I'm not a fuck-up. Fighting against the creeping elitism, holding onto the swiftly-eroding egalitarianism. Get angrier at willfully-stupid people.

I don't know.

CU

[vicar.livejournal.com]

I wonder if it is an insecurity cycle. Arrogance in me has always been the rebound effect of insecurities overcome.

I've always been told I have 'abilities,' and I've always disagreed but I'm beginning to wonder. I remember my slacker-tude pissing off type-A types in my past, and hating them for lashing out at someone who did nothing to them. Now I kinda understand the disdain, the watching COPS and laughing...the...

It's probably not a good reflection on me. I'll worry about what a shit I might be after exams though ;)

[cweaselle.livejournal.com]

Hey, I know where you're at. Remember when I couldn't walk and had to go everywhere in a wheelchair? You thought it was *cute*. I thought it the worst thing that could happen to someone. Most likely you'll heal back to normal, if not we could go get pizza and complain about how we took our youth forgranted.

As to being a disdainful or others...you were always that. So are most of us, you just changed what you're disdainful of, or maybe added some things to be disdainful of. Whichever it's not a big deal, it happens to me all the time, but I'm running out of people to not like.

Oh, and by the way, since I quit my job, I'll have more time to spend...if you want me to come up to visit let me know.

m