Achievement?

I looked at my stupid plumbing today with the fresh realization it could just stay exactly like it is - I don't need to do any more work. I'm going to look at houses today, which terrifies me all over again as change is...change. What if I buy a house where I'm looking and don't like it? I'm scared of virtually everything social other than sitting with the same friends and talking about mostly the same things
(that may be my favorite thing in the world)
Since the shutdown, my work motivation has plummeted and I'm feeling borderline incompetent again.

I'm trying not to just take my states out of coffee, but without chemical stimulants I'm just not feeling anything.

All these things that annoy me are...not normal. If I was a normal USian, I wouldn't work out, wouldn't force myself to read, wouldn't be mad I'm not putting the right time into my investment research, wouldn't be looking for new homes until a tornado ate my trailer, wouldn't even think about the gym...all these things are voluntary.

Maybe I'm just on my period.