I took my mom to hooters

So I'm in Texas, stretching a work trip to use my own dime & time to get a visit in with family. Last night we checked into a hotel, after my "occasionally nervous" mother nearly drove off the road. Twice. Technically she did drive off the road, twice, but once was onto the shoulder and the other time was merely driving onto the checkered part of the painted road indicating the lane she was in had ended. She also failed to get directions, but was convinced the "hotel was just right there" and then, on getting directions from someone at a gas station, felt she disagreed with a projected distance or road name and went off on her own...somewhere between being lost and being scared of highways her brain turned off and...I'm happy to be alive. Inches I was from taking over the driving part - lost is fine, driving off the road or into a truck I consider more significant.

So arriving in the hotel, we were ready for dinner and I was ready for ingestion of therapeutic neurological blockers. There was a place called "The Wild Turkey" in a nearby (walkable) strip mall. The patio was full, though there were tv screens OUTSIDE showing sports, but the priority of not-in-the-car was met along with drinking, so that was it. Curiously there were a bunch of "bikes" outside, as in harleys so shiney and unscuffed that you knew the owners were dentists and accountants. I took this as a "might not suck" indication. We go inside, are BLASTED by the loud noise, and are seated. Then the waitress comes up. She is not uncute, early twenties, kinda pretty (but with too much makeup), and I don't not notice she's wearing a slightly tight t-shirt top with a slightly diving neckline. She takes our drink order, and...she's not a bright girl. The conversation where I asked about greens, and she wasn't sure what the stuff was in a caesar salad...was...as they say out here, "Bless her heart."

When she walked away, I saw she was wearing daisey dukes and cowgirl boots. She also lifted her shirt up and jammed the order-pad into her denim shorts. Turns out we actually had the prettiest, thinnest, and skimpiestly dressed "bless her heart"tress in the entire place. I wasn't immune to her appearance, nor her not-strengths coming out of her mouth (I was nice). However, I'm somewhat baffled that I didn't peg this place as more hooters than sports bar from the outside (I was hoping for more redneck bbq strip mall mockery). The truth, though, was that I had just taken my mom to hooters.

I TOOK MY MOM TO ANOTHER STRIP CLUB

What the hell is up with this place? So it was time for dinner, and I tried to take my mom out for dinner. First, we see a sign at Chauncers that says sushi, she wants to go, so we park there. However, we get out and it's readily obvious the place is a sports bar or similar...still we head in until we see that it is GO-GO NIGHT, and there are pictures of girls on poles.
http://www.chaucersrestaurant.com/cms/lewisville
I opt out - I already made one sports bar mistake and while I like pretty girls, I do not like pretty girls that are nice because I give them money. I also do not want to see naked girls while WITH MY MOM.

So, we were joking earlier about a nearby restaurant called Redneck Heaven. We're in Texas, things are funny, so we choose to go to redneck heaven. It's walkable to the redneck bar, so we just leave the car and walk across the parking lot. It looks promising! There is a covered roof over the parking lot for motorcycles, tin roof sections nailed to the outside, and the FAMILY in front of us is wearing flip-flops.

Then we get in the door.
http://www.redneckheaven.com/
Then we get in the door, and all the staff are females in midriff-bearing tops. And tiny shorts. It's Hooters by another name, only...more hooterish than hooters. I'd call it a strip club, mostly.

So yeah, last night I accidentally took mom to a hooters.
Tonight I took my mom to another hooters, then a strip club.

To her credit or otherwise, my mom found it all funny and wanted to see the menu before I vetoed the whole kebang.