(no subject)

So I have this lil tragedy going on in my life, but I've been noticing weird things about how other people react to me when they know about it. People are crawling out of the woodwork with offers "if you need anything." I think I understand that, and it's sweet. People who don't know or like me very well find my situation compelling, and feel the need to reach out. It's like they see a sad puppy look and want to cuddle it. I believe each person who has done so has been completely sincere.

That urge is, in reality, completely insane. Can you imagine someone, in their hour of crisis, forgoing their existing network of real friends and family to reach out to someone who doesn't call them on the phone, go out to eat with them, who never tasted their bodily fluids, never moved furniture or asked to move theirs, and who has never come to them with a crisis of their own? I mean, why would I trust someone who isn't even a friend, or a good friend, when I'm dealing with something real? You know what would be fun? Taking up one of these near-stranger-acquaintances on their generous offer. If only I had done more theatre, I could call one up and desperately beg to talk - meet them in person and bawl into their chest like a 2 year old, blowing salt and snot into their shirt. Can you imagine the "oh shit" on their face? That would be hilarious.

I'm not saying if I'm not your friend now I never will be, either. I've been hard to be friends with for the last few years, I know. I would like to make new and interesting friends here and there, perhaps swap bodily fluids, and even renew or strengthen old ties. If your interest is in making friends or growing together more, dandy, but for many there are other ways and other times that might be more appropriate.

A hint - this is more from the office and gym: if someone has crap they're going through, don't ask them how they're doing. If you know their situation, don't ask about it. Say hello, do the other senseless greetings, if you must - say they can ask if they need anything but leave it alone and distant when you're done (we're talking coworkers and acquaintances here). My boss told me if I needed any leave I had it, he considers family the priority, and he'd be flexible with any work-at-home arrangements I wanted. That was cool and appropriate. My coworker asked me "How's your dad doing?" Crappy! Oh. Isn't he getting better? No, worse. Much. Oh. Silence... See, now that was just stupid. She knew he was in the hospital, and I was here talking to no one. What are the odd this would be a good conversation? Stoofoo!

When you have shit going on, the last thing you want to do is repeatedly relate the story to others. It sucks to think about it, more to tell others about it. You have family you have to tell about it, and friends you can tell about it. You don't give a shit what similar experience coworkers or acquaintances went through. At least I don't. I guess they don't know about WAH LJ!

(no subject)

I've about had it with people running on about the death of Pavarotti. I know he was famous, but he also ruined a lot of lives. Just because you enter the spotlight doesn't mean you deserve to suffer. Some people don't perform just to be famous. For some the crafts that force you and your private life into the spotlight are artistic pursuits. Singing, acting, even producing art for the sheer beauty of what you provide society seems to give some people the feeling that they are entitled to your every moment, robbing you of your privacy. I'm always hearing about how these stars are being assaulted in restaurants or clubs, strangers climb into their property, shooting at them from helicopters, and of course the most famous case where he lead to the death of Princess Diana. There are plenty of legitimate public functions and photo-ops in which the "stars" do put themselves up for public review: in their art, in promotional activities for that art, and sometimes even to use their fame as a forum to present serious thoughts about political issues. However, there was always one guy who was willing to take advantage of these artists fame and use it for his own selfish desires based on the sick hunger from the public for more. Granted, you have to blame the public and financial supporters of his actions, but still offering the bounty is less offensive than the actions of the creep who collects it. I for one and glad he's gone. Hopefully now the stars can get some peace and privacy.