(no subject)

Today I stopped by the farmer's market and saw a table with boxes of apples for $2.
"Sir, I've spent time in the country, and know that apples taste better when you steal them. So, I'm going to steal these apples; but, I'm going to pay you $2 not to tell anyone."
I won't tell a soul. I could also sell you the box for $2 and say the apples are free."

My favorite women told me they were picking the wild berries when 2 of their horses snuck up and ate about 2 pts before they realized what was happening.

(no subject)

I just got a voice mail at home - I have been called for an interview for the GS-14 Supervisory Human Resources Specialist position, Sep 7 10:00 AM.

EDIT - this is especially funny today. I was called back to my old office only to have my old boss, the one who drove me out to begin with, give me a mountain of shit because after leaving her with completed packages of work when I left on a detail, she felt I should have monitored the cases and found out they were not issued as ordered. Well I suppose I could have...ha! I told her at one point "Well it's obvious you're mad - why don't we reconvene at a time when you've calmed down? I really don't want to sit here being berrated." When the boss-boss came in, I took the opportunity to loudly cut in and note I followed exactly the procedure she ordered me to follow, a change from the version where I did more of the work myself. blah blah blah anyway she bitched me out even though I'm not working for her for at least 60 days. Oh funny.

Then this afternoon I called the guy who referred me to the 14 job, making sure he knew that a) I was on a detail, and b) that I had cleared the possibility of leaving for another job soon before accepting a detail. I get home, message on the mail. Hee!