The price of freedom
Aug. 7th, 2003 06:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vicarzTravel often helps me clear my head.
I stepped over a strangely familiar yellow on the way to the gym. On closer examination, I found it was a dead parakeet. I wonder what it experienced when it escaped captivity, and for how long. It was next to a dead sparrow.
Had my worst guy in the gym trying to pick me up in quite a while. This guy wasn’t bad looking, but he sucked at lifting. He did like half the weights I was doing on any given machine, but with awful form. I think he saw me watching one of the dance videos, and pegged me for family based on that. His pick-up? Well, besides the requisite package glances, he started humming to the music. Ew. Foot-tapping and singing along - has that ever worked on anyone ever? I walked far away from this creature in-between my sets. He stopped his act and gave up trying to get eye-contact. His looks weren't all that, but the behavior made him worth actively avoiding.
I remembered when my fiancé and I broke up, how the phone kept ringing, no one there. I answered as though I didn’t know, as though she didn’t know I knew. I yelled, I cussed, I acted just as male and aggravated as I could. “Who is this? What the fuck is your problem? You some kinda perv?” I suppose I was just as transparent then as I am now, she must have known. Sometimes I couldn’t even put up an act, or I’d break in my act unable to continue, and I’d listen. Listen to nothing on the end of the phone, imagining I could hear her breathing. Seeing her lips open, the hurt expression on her face, the way her chest rose with each breath. How long did I watch her chest rising as she slept? She never hung up first, not once.
I talked with my lawyer partner-in-crime a bunch during our Richmond venture. He’s very distant, so I was surprised by the things he told me, talked about. One subject he was interesting on was religion. He often would travel from what sounded like Christian philosophy, to saying he was an atheist. I think he’s Adventist, and just saying the atheist thing to be non-controversial. In any case, he talked about how faith in god has to come first, and that logic can not lead you to that path. If that’s the case, I’m so fucked! There’s almost an allure to that idea, faith coming first, but it’s just too easy an excuse for too many asinine things. Faith first, in spite of logic, and then resistant to logic...I think that’s how you get idiots who believe in creationism.
Arnold is running for governor. I wonder if Arnold, the ideal republican, was heavily invested in ENRON like so many other of our current nasty leaders. They blame the Democratic Governor for the economy and energy crisis, but what about the Republican ENRON stock owners? What about the heavy ties between Bush and his ilk? I wonder if Arnold is one that had his hand in that pot. If so, I’m sure no one will bring that up, or care.
I stepped over a strangely familiar yellow on the way to the gym. On closer examination, I found it was a dead parakeet. I wonder what it experienced when it escaped captivity, and for how long. It was next to a dead sparrow.
Had my worst guy in the gym trying to pick me up in quite a while. This guy wasn’t bad looking, but he sucked at lifting. He did like half the weights I was doing on any given machine, but with awful form. I think he saw me watching one of the dance videos, and pegged me for family based on that. His pick-up? Well, besides the requisite package glances, he started humming to the music. Ew. Foot-tapping and singing along - has that ever worked on anyone ever? I walked far away from this creature in-between my sets. He stopped his act and gave up trying to get eye-contact. His looks weren't all that, but the behavior made him worth actively avoiding.
I remembered when my fiancé and I broke up, how the phone kept ringing, no one there. I answered as though I didn’t know, as though she didn’t know I knew. I yelled, I cussed, I acted just as male and aggravated as I could. “Who is this? What the fuck is your problem? You some kinda perv?” I suppose I was just as transparent then as I am now, she must have known. Sometimes I couldn’t even put up an act, or I’d break in my act unable to continue, and I’d listen. Listen to nothing on the end of the phone, imagining I could hear her breathing. Seeing her lips open, the hurt expression on her face, the way her chest rose with each breath. How long did I watch her chest rising as she slept? She never hung up first, not once.
I talked with my lawyer partner-in-crime a bunch during our Richmond venture. He’s very distant, so I was surprised by the things he told me, talked about. One subject he was interesting on was religion. He often would travel from what sounded like Christian philosophy, to saying he was an atheist. I think he’s Adventist, and just saying the atheist thing to be non-controversial. In any case, he talked about how faith in god has to come first, and that logic can not lead you to that path. If that’s the case, I’m so fucked! There’s almost an allure to that idea, faith coming first, but it’s just too easy an excuse for too many asinine things. Faith first, in spite of logic, and then resistant to logic...I think that’s how you get idiots who believe in creationism.
Arnold is running for governor. I wonder if Arnold, the ideal republican, was heavily invested in ENRON like so many other of our current nasty leaders. They blame the Democratic Governor for the economy and energy crisis, but what about the Republican ENRON stock owners? What about the heavy ties between Bush and his ilk? I wonder if Arnold is one that had his hand in that pot. If so, I’m sure no one will bring that up, or care.
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damn you Polly!
Date: 2003-08-08 06:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-08-09 02:38 am (UTC)