vicarz | Hey look, I wrote in eljay. Take that Russian mafia!

Wow, guess I'm still a little emo fag. Today is one of those days where I woke up choked with emotion for no discernable reason. Life's pretty good. Nothing particularly good or bad is going on. Did I have a dream I forgot? Was I kidnapped by CIA aliens and save the world or find out it's about to blow up before they wiped my memory? Did I sex another ghost? Weird, but like a manic I want to keep this feeling. It's like a drunk - there is no real reason for the feeling, but though it hurts I want it. I feel like this feeling is me, or at least part of who I am. Sads, I dance with them.

These sads I like. When I share them with others I feel like I belong (upon reciprocation). They don't hurt - it's like movie sad or painful story/picture sad. It's not debilitating can't move or get out of bed wrist stabby bridge jumping ammmo gathering sad.

It's funny, as I'm old, people call me old when I spend the night in a club complaining that the music or the venue sucks. I guess they're so old (or so new) they forget I did the same thing when I was 20. I hated Adam's set...but I honestly do think there is merit to my "this party sucks" arguments. Right now I'm listening to some (electroclash? Hipster crap?) music that I've never heard, that given the pierced baristas who are playing it is likely brand spanking new, that I would dance to in a heartthrob. When I was in Minneapolis I went to a huge club and danced (ALONE) to music I never heard before. Same with LA (though I was less happy with the music - I'm not into much stompy, or nustompy let's call it) (not alone).

Nustomp sucks. Nunoise sucks?

Today I'm wearing my favorite sweatshirt outside the house. It's too big, faded, and has a big splootch across the front were I was reminded cleaning with bleach is bad when you're wearing black / faded to gray. This is partially related to the fact I am wearing last night's shirt, for after sushi-ing dinner last night I came home to find, naked, that I have no hot water. Yes picture that, hair perfectly made up and dime-sized nipples perked up like a movie. So I'm...seasoned. I didn't work out and I'm just past the day mark w/o a shower so I don't stink...but I wouldn't go down on me.

The Commission has repeatedly determined that...injuries dissipate after removal of the causal circumstance...