(no subject)
Jun. 19th, 2011 04:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vicarzIt's father's day and I don't really care. It's been that long.
I have a long post brewing about meaningless life and many houses.
I have a long post brewing about...me. Stuff. Shifting priorities and impending death, comfort with. Joy in a bucket I am, with a wafer-thin mint.
Internet people cannot say bucket without mentioning walruses or wafer-thin mints
I have a long post brewing about my part in the destruction of life as we know it on the planet
I think perhaps DC pride is bigger but more sterile - a political march, vendors galore, but the parties are private. B'more is an all-day off the hook legal public drinking blnge...this year the parking lot party brought their own sound system and DJ rig...off the hook. It's very New Orleans...a public drinking cop-safety-patrolled (and our own) street party. Funny how allowing drinking in the street seems not to be associated with the problems you normally see with drinking when drinking is strictly regulated to prevent drinking in the street under the assumption that such activity causes problems.
I'm full of thoughts about sexuality/gender identity, politics, and my personal drivel about my version of those issues...but right now I feel like doing yet another long thought-out diatribe is just self-indulgent navel gazing with no purpose or possible productive outcome. I have thoughts and feelings, but who cares. They're not important.
My audience on eljay has changed, and I'm less inclined to write when I'm not going to see 20 friends each weekend night and re-discuss what they and I wrote. I'm not avoiding facebook - I just don't like it. Those with the least to say post the most, and the medium genuinely prevents intelligent discourse. Sure, it prompts more frequent and numeric contacts - but without substance I might as well call the wall of dancers grinding in the club my friends. I could fuck 'em, but that doesn't make them friends. Facebook likes certainly don't seem positively associated with substantive relationships of any caliber. I've picked up some great writers on eljay, but I've also lost some good ones.
I'm either depressed or admitting I'm getting old or just so much more aware of all the mistakes I made not just years ago, but in the last months, days, hours that I can't help but not-fear handing off the keys to the next generation.
I could share my observations, but even if I figure out my own answers and even if I could spoon feed someone the solutions to their problems, avoiding those pains would only prevent them from learning how to overcome future obstacles. Plus I'm a raging idiot - like I have any business giving advice.
I have a long post brewing about meaningless life and many houses.
I have a long post brewing about...me. Stuff. Shifting priorities and impending death, comfort with. Joy in a bucket I am, with a wafer-thin mint.
Internet people cannot say bucket without mentioning walruses or wafer-thin mints
I have a long post brewing about my part in the destruction of life as we know it on the planet
I think perhaps DC pride is bigger but more sterile - a political march, vendors galore, but the parties are private. B'more is an all-day off the hook legal public drinking blnge...this year the parking lot party brought their own sound system and DJ rig...off the hook. It's very New Orleans...a public drinking cop-safety-patrolled (and our own) street party. Funny how allowing drinking in the street seems not to be associated with the problems you normally see with drinking when drinking is strictly regulated to prevent drinking in the street under the assumption that such activity causes problems.
I'm full of thoughts about sexuality/gender identity, politics, and my personal drivel about my version of those issues...but right now I feel like doing yet another long thought-out diatribe is just self-indulgent navel gazing with no purpose or possible productive outcome. I have thoughts and feelings, but who cares. They're not important.
My audience on eljay has changed, and I'm less inclined to write when I'm not going to see 20 friends each weekend night and re-discuss what they and I wrote. I'm not avoiding facebook - I just don't like it. Those with the least to say post the most, and the medium genuinely prevents intelligent discourse. Sure, it prompts more frequent and numeric contacts - but without substance I might as well call the wall of dancers grinding in the club my friends. I could fuck 'em, but that doesn't make them friends. Facebook likes certainly don't seem positively associated with substantive relationships of any caliber. I've picked up some great writers on eljay, but I've also lost some good ones.
I'm either depressed or admitting I'm getting old or just so much more aware of all the mistakes I made not just years ago, but in the last months, days, hours that I can't help but not-fear handing off the keys to the next generation.
I could share my observations, but even if I figure out my own answers and even if I could spoon feed someone the solutions to their problems, avoiding those pains would only prevent them from learning how to overcome future obstacles. Plus I'm a raging idiot - like I have any business giving advice.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-06-20 02:19 pm (UTC)I can't decide if I'm posting less because my life has gotten more boring, or because there isn't the same "conversation" feeling that there used to be.
That and the fact that I have become really pessimistic lately, and don't necessarily want to infect everyone else with it.
no subject
Date: 2011-06-20 09:34 pm (UTC)Despair.com just put out a shirt "Optimists are half full of it" but it's not quite me.
no subject
Date: 2011-06-20 09:23 pm (UTC)Also, you are not 'a raging idiot' all the time ;)
no subject
Date: 2011-06-20 09:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-20 09:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-07-09 06:05 pm (UTC)