My crotch has curtains
Sep. 30th, 2010 08:34 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vicarzI just realized that today not only am I wearing PLEATED pants, but along with it I'm topping a MOCK turtleneck. I'm anti-gay in my choice of ugly clothing; only, I know I'm wearing fashion pathetic clothes. I work out like mad and enjoy the positive effect that has on my looks - but if your fetish is well dressed I'm not there.
I don't understand how pleated is less fashionable than flat - it seems as if would be the other way around. Shouldn't the gay...I mean fashion community mock flat pants?
"Nice look...in the 1900s. You do realize we have sewing machines now? It's no longer necessary to make pants from plain cloth and staple guns!"
You say 'pleated.' I propose 'penis drapes.'
I mean, pleated are fancy - fancy! The lovely V where my shapely legs rise to meet my most private of gifts, front and back, is accentuated with an inviting hint of hourglass. Mysteriously the fabric is bunched out flamboyantly around my crotch as if to say
"Here is something worth unveiling! Behold!
My crotch has curtains! Pull back the drapes and prepare to be awed!"
The mockneck is not justifiable. It's just an all black version of the baseball jersey, or the long-sleeve rock concert t-shirt. Button down is superior, with it's many pieces of cloth, non-iron-on-decal-ability, and inference that the owner is either willing to pay others to do his laundry or knows how to iron. I accept full fail on that - but chalk it up to being lazy and cheap. I score them for about $9.99-12 at Eddie Bauer, and fold them right out of the dryer. I don't tuck them in. It's a t-shirt with sleeves, but they let me wear them to work. I may not be wowing the fashion world, but I'll have more time and money when the fashion wars are over and the mock inherit the earth!
Billy...I mean Scott Pilgrim books are on sale on amazon for like $4 each. I want to get 2-6, but that's only about $20. Any ideas on what to buy at Amazon for about $5 to get free shipping?
I don't understand how pleated is less fashionable than flat - it seems as if would be the other way around. Shouldn't the gay...I mean fashion community mock flat pants?
"Nice look...in the 1900s. You do realize we have sewing machines now? It's no longer necessary to make pants from plain cloth and staple guns!"
You say 'pleated.' I propose 'penis drapes.'
I mean, pleated are fancy - fancy! The lovely V where my shapely legs rise to meet my most private of gifts, front and back, is accentuated with an inviting hint of hourglass. Mysteriously the fabric is bunched out flamboyantly around my crotch as if to say
"Here is something worth unveiling! Behold!
My crotch has curtains! Pull back the drapes and prepare to be awed!"
The mockneck is not justifiable. It's just an all black version of the baseball jersey, or the long-sleeve rock concert t-shirt. Button down is superior, with it's many pieces of cloth, non-iron-on-decal-ability, and inference that the owner is either willing to pay others to do his laundry or knows how to iron. I accept full fail on that - but chalk it up to being lazy and cheap. I score them for about $9.99-12 at Eddie Bauer, and fold them right out of the dryer. I don't tuck them in. It's a t-shirt with sleeves, but they let me wear them to work. I may not be wowing the fashion world, but I'll have more time and money when the fashion wars are over and the mock inherit the earth!
Billy...I mean Scott Pilgrim books are on sale on amazon for like $4 each. I want to get 2-6, but that's only about $20. Any ideas on what to buy at Amazon for about $5 to get free shipping?
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no subject
Date: 2010-09-30 12:53 pm (UTC)A mock is perfectly acceptable when it is wet but not yet cool enough to handle turtlenecks without sweating. Besides, some of us who are not as vertically challenged as you work better with both the mock and actual turtle neck. (That, and I lived in the fuckers during the winter in Michigan...they also do a lot to help get through with only shaving every other day...)
Now pleats...pleats are a challenge. Color and fabric, of course, matter, but pleats do not work as well with sweaters (vests, cardigans, whatever you prefer) nor with some jackets because your "penis drapes" draw the eye away from the intended focus or draw of the outfit.
Oh. of course.
Well then you may as well be honest and wear a doublet and codpiece ensemble, shouldn't you? Oh wait, you're not single, never mind.
no subject
Date: 2010-09-30 01:15 pm (UTC)I'm more tempted to get a codpiece - in the shape of a cod.
no subject
Date: 2010-09-30 01:38 pm (UTC)penis drapes.
no subject
Date: 2010-10-01 02:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-04 12:06 am (UTC)Day 1 - khakis and a dark mock top
Following day - black khakis and a light mock top
Rinse repeat!
no subject
Date: 2010-10-05 12:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-05 12:30 am (UTC)