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May. 11th, 2010 09:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vicarzSeems a lot of people are getting their email accounts "hacked" and sending out massive spaminations to their email lists. I've seen recent examples of everything from links to virus infected sites to the old "I've been mugged in the UK" scams.
Speaking of spam:
Attn: Beneficiary,
This is to Officially inform you that it has come to our notice and we have thoroughly Investigated with the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network System
Hint #1 this isn't gummint - no acronym follows like IMNS
that you are having an illegal Transaction with Impostors claiming to be Prof. Charles C. Soludo of the Central Bank Of Nigeria, Mr. Patrick Aziza, MrFrank Nweke, none officials of Oceanic Bank, Zenith Banks, kelvin Young of HSBC,Ben of Fedex,Ibrahim Sule,Larry Christopher,
Hints 2-4, bad grammar, misplaced punctuation, improper capitalization
Puppy Scammers
PUPPY SCAMMERS! Oh Em Gee these are the cutest though - I mean sure they're trying to use my impulse to steal against me but...puppies! PUPPY!
are impostors claiming to be the Federal Bureau Of Investigation.
You mean the FBI doesn't use their own acronym? Wow. Still, I have no ability to distrust puppies so watch what you say!
During our Investigation, we noticed that the reason why you have not received your payment is because you have not fulfilled your Financial Obligation
Where the caps are, and are not, often gives away the author. In this case, someone's primary focus might just be the FINANCIAL OBLIGATION
given to you in respect of your Contract/Inheritance Payment.
Nice touch, no matter what scam you fell for before, we've come up with a term that covers it!
Therefore, we have contacted the Federal Ministry Of Finance on your behalf
What what? For which country, is there such in the US of A? Either way, awesome that the FBI is out there using their full name to try and find out, unsolicited, why I haven't gotten my scam monies yet!
and they have brought a solution to your problem by cordinating
I'm being paid in cords of wood?
your payment in total USD$11,000.000.00 in an ATM CARD which you can use to withdraw money from any ATM MACHINE CENTER anywhere in the world with a maximum of $4,000 to $5,000 United States Dollars daily. You now have the lawful right to claim your fund in an ATM CARD.
Hint #5, an ATM card? Really? This is supposed to be more convenient than say...an actual bank account, wire transfer, or possibly a check? ATM with whom, since depending on the bank there are or are not fees? What the hell anyway...I'm supposed to walk around with bazillions of dollars in my pocket every day? Since ATMs generally top out on the $20 mark, that $5,000 every day (max) would be a whopping 250 bills, about as thick as a ream of paper. Now, most banks have a limit of $3-500 daily for their own customers, right? What about strangers to the system? What about the fact that even if I yoink that max amount out every day it takes 2200 days, or 6 years, to get my big bucks? Boy, government sure is stupid!
Since the Federal Bureau of Investigation is involved in this transaction, you have to be rest assured for this is 100% risk free it is our duty to protect the American Citizens.
Still no acronym, not clear how "they" are involved, amazing that my own government is seeking to assure me of the legitimacy of the transaction...like all liars, when they try to convince you of the truth it's because it is not. Thanks for letting me know this government agency protects citizens...why specify citizens at all? Oh yes, if you're not one and to you that is a distinction looking from the outside.
All I want you to do is to contact the ATM CARD CENTER via email for their requirements to proceed and procure your Approval Slip on your behalf which will cost you $110.00 only and note that your Approval Slip which contains details of the agent who will process your transaction.
Again with the funny language and capitalization, and now this is a personal request "All I want you to do?! You're the government, serve me! You went through all these unnamed actions only to make me finish it? I mean shit, you had my email address...
CONTACT INFORMATION
NAME: Mike Williams
EMAIL:mikewilliams18@yahoo.cn
Telephone Number: +234-803-357-0260
Hint #6, name with # email account, on a public domain free mail service rather than say, fbi.gov or something silly, and a foreign phone #! I mean...how do people fall for these things? Contact the FBI, 104-b Okalontongo Street mailbox, behind internet cafe filled with men carrying AK-47s, Nigeria, or use my cell in the Nigerian area code. Sure! After all, it is the direct line to the director of the FBI!
You are adviced to contact Mr mike williams with the informations as stated below:
It's like they got tired of typing by the time they got to the end. I wonder how many more victims they'd net if they only bothered to use the caps key on a regular basis.
Your full Name..
Your Address:..............
Home/Cell Phone:..............
Age
Current occupation:
How does the occupation help me get my already-mine money?
So your files would be updated after which he will send the payment informations which you'll use in making payment of $110.00 via Western Union Money Transfer or Money Gram Transfer for the procurement of your Approval Slip after which the delivery of your ATM CARD will be effected to your designated home address without any further delay.
You have my files at the FBI but lack my address, name (you sent me email), phone number (I'm listed!) Maybe we don't pay enough taxes after all. I'll send you my "informations" right away Sir!
As always, it's really too bad that you can't deduct that silly transfer fee from my brand new $11mil ATM card of contract/inheritance
We order you get back to this office after you have contacted the ATM SWIFT CARD CENTER and we do await your response so we can move on with our Investigation and make sure your ATM SWIFT CARD gets to you.
Wait, what? Where did this ALL CAPS SWIFT CARD come from? Are you just cutting and pasting your scams from one place to another w/o even checking if they match up? Just ask my azn-Russian young bride to bring it with her to the airport.
Thanks and hope to read from you soon.
Us US of A citizens often read from each other. It's nice that the polite FBI director is hoping I take the time to give him something soon to read from.
FBI Director Robert S.Mueller III.
Score! They got his name right! Now if only the return email was the same as the source email...I guess they have to be super secret there in the FBI for american citizens and not allow the reply button to go right to your public servant.
Speaking of spam:
Attn: Beneficiary,
This is to Officially inform you that it has come to our notice and we have thoroughly Investigated with the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network System
Hint #1 this isn't gummint - no acronym follows like IMNS
that you are having an illegal Transaction with Impostors claiming to be Prof. Charles C. Soludo of the Central Bank Of Nigeria, Mr. Patrick Aziza, MrFrank Nweke, none officials of Oceanic Bank, Zenith Banks, kelvin Young of HSBC,Ben of Fedex,Ibrahim Sule,Larry Christopher,
Hints 2-4, bad grammar, misplaced punctuation, improper capitalization
Puppy Scammers
PUPPY SCAMMERS! Oh Em Gee these are the cutest though - I mean sure they're trying to use my impulse to steal against me but...puppies! PUPPY!
are impostors claiming to be the Federal Bureau Of Investigation.
You mean the FBI doesn't use their own acronym? Wow. Still, I have no ability to distrust puppies so watch what you say!
During our Investigation, we noticed that the reason why you have not received your payment is because you have not fulfilled your Financial Obligation
Where the caps are, and are not, often gives away the author. In this case, someone's primary focus might just be the FINANCIAL OBLIGATION
given to you in respect of your Contract/Inheritance Payment.
Nice touch, no matter what scam you fell for before, we've come up with a term that covers it!
Therefore, we have contacted the Federal Ministry Of Finance on your behalf
What what? For which country, is there such in the US of A? Either way, awesome that the FBI is out there using their full name to try and find out, unsolicited, why I haven't gotten my scam monies yet!
and they have brought a solution to your problem by cordinating
I'm being paid in cords of wood?
your payment in total USD$11,000.000.00 in an ATM CARD which you can use to withdraw money from any ATM MACHINE CENTER anywhere in the world with a maximum of $4,000 to $5,000 United States Dollars daily. You now have the lawful right to claim your fund in an ATM CARD.
Hint #5, an ATM card? Really? This is supposed to be more convenient than say...an actual bank account, wire transfer, or possibly a check? ATM with whom, since depending on the bank there are or are not fees? What the hell anyway...I'm supposed to walk around with bazillions of dollars in my pocket every day? Since ATMs generally top out on the $20 mark, that $5,000 every day (max) would be a whopping 250 bills, about as thick as a ream of paper. Now, most banks have a limit of $3-500 daily for their own customers, right? What about strangers to the system? What about the fact that even if I yoink that max amount out every day it takes 2200 days, or 6 years, to get my big bucks? Boy, government sure is stupid!
Since the Federal Bureau of Investigation is involved in this transaction, you have to be rest assured for this is 100% risk free it is our duty to protect the American Citizens.
Still no acronym, not clear how "they" are involved, amazing that my own government is seeking to assure me of the legitimacy of the transaction...like all liars, when they try to convince you of the truth it's because it is not. Thanks for letting me know this government agency protects citizens...why specify citizens at all? Oh yes, if you're not one and to you that is a distinction looking from the outside.
All I want you to do is to contact the ATM CARD CENTER via email for their requirements to proceed and procure your Approval Slip on your behalf which will cost you $110.00 only and note that your Approval Slip which contains details of the agent who will process your transaction.
Again with the funny language and capitalization, and now this is a personal request "All I want you to do?! You're the government, serve me! You went through all these unnamed actions only to make me finish it? I mean shit, you had my email address...
CONTACT INFORMATION
NAME: Mike Williams
EMAIL:mikewilliams18@yahoo.cn
Telephone Number: +234-803-357-0260
Hint #6, name with # email account, on a public domain free mail service rather than say, fbi.gov or something silly, and a foreign phone #! I mean...how do people fall for these things? Contact the FBI, 104-b Okalontongo Street mailbox, behind internet cafe filled with men carrying AK-47s, Nigeria, or use my cell in the Nigerian area code. Sure! After all, it is the direct line to the director of the FBI!
You are adviced to contact Mr mike williams with the informations as stated below:
It's like they got tired of typing by the time they got to the end. I wonder how many more victims they'd net if they only bothered to use the caps key on a regular basis.
Your full Name..
Your Address:..............
Home/Cell Phone:..............
Age
Current occupation:
How does the occupation help me get my already-mine money?
So your files would be updated after which he will send the payment informations which you'll use in making payment of $110.00 via Western Union Money Transfer or Money Gram Transfer for the procurement of your Approval Slip after which the delivery of your ATM CARD will be effected to your designated home address without any further delay.
You have my files at the FBI but lack my address, name (you sent me email), phone number (I'm listed!) Maybe we don't pay enough taxes after all. I'll send you my "informations" right away Sir!
As always, it's really too bad that you can't deduct that silly transfer fee from my brand new $11mil ATM card of contract/inheritance
We order you get back to this office after you have contacted the ATM SWIFT CARD CENTER and we do await your response so we can move on with our Investigation and make sure your ATM SWIFT CARD gets to you.
Wait, what? Where did this ALL CAPS SWIFT CARD come from? Are you just cutting and pasting your scams from one place to another w/o even checking if they match up? Just ask my azn-Russian young bride to bring it with her to the airport.
Thanks and hope to read from you soon.
Us US of A citizens often read from each other. It's nice that the polite FBI director is hoping I take the time to give him something soon to read from.
FBI Director Robert S.Mueller III.
Score! They got his name right! Now if only the return email was the same as the source email...I guess they have to be super secret there in the FBI for american citizens and not allow the reply button to go right to your public servant.
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