(no subject)
Feb. 24th, 2009 07:22 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vicarzDiesel sweeties for the win!
http://www.dieselsweeties.com/archive/2222
Wow. I've been mentally composing a post about how grateful I am for:
* The fact that while I stumbled through my education with no real direction, I did put energy into it misdirected or poorly directed or no - and that education has served me tirelessly to this day.
* Same thing with career - better to pursue *something* than to sit and wait for a specific thing. I have felt pathetic as my peers seem to have specific goals and dreams, while I only want to pay the bills and sluff off for fun. Still, I've done work and kinda-sorta pursued career, and those efforts have paid dividends. If I had a super-dooper goal perhaps I'd be higher, but I'm quite happy with the results of my half-assed efforts as compounded over time.
* The fact that I stuck with government for security while I watched others pursue and receive far more success in the private sector.
* The priority I put on happiness and me-time over financial success in isolation.
I'm torn on the subject of "success." By some measures I've achieved some success, but I don't feel proud as my identity is invested more in other places (I talk far more about how much I bench, deadlift, or squat than my grade, education, or financial standing). I know part of that is simply a product of two things: education and job success don't change often, and it's rude in some situations to talk about career and money. Still, I care far more about if I'm liked, if I'm seen as nice, if I'm seen as pretty, how I dance, and fluffy stuff above and beyond the stuff that looks good on paper.
Because I'm pretty? Because you're pretty.
However, as the destroyed economy is in the news daily, I've really become very grateful both to fate and to my own perseverance for the rewards I'm knee-deep in now. I have a job while unemployment skyrockets, and it's not a crappy low-paying job I hate but need to pay the bills. I have a home that is worth more than the balance on the mortgage, which is on a low fixed-interest rate. I have retirement accounts of reasonable size for my age. I have most of my health and insurance in case some day I don't.
Odd note - I have a boo and I'm grateful too. While you can't say googly-eyes are necessarily a product of work, if I had been whoring about, or if I had stayed in seclusion lamenting the state of the world as it related to my romantic life - I would probably not have met, recognized the value of, or been recognized as "valuable" by Janna. So while I call it some more important nontangible type of "success," and it's odd to say romance is a product of work, well...it is. Same types of issues, investing energy, not jumping at shadows, not jumping quick fixes that do long-term damage...yields a higher quality sustainable result. Of course a relationship requires work too and it won't always be fun and roses - the process continues.
So I've been mentally composing a kind of thanksgiving post in my mind - I hear every day how the world is falling apart, and I'm so happy that I'm not a laid-off high-priced douche crying because my 100k car is hard to pay for and my home is killing me; or I'm stuck in a miserable job to pay for my perceived "needs." I'm happy I'm not a blue-collar worker in Detroit, happier I'm not a small town apt dweller working 2 fast food jobs or cleaning hotel rooms. I'm happy for the comfort I have; happy that while I just replaced a heat pump I had the money to do it without fear or financing; happy I forget to check the price of dinner, bar tabs, groceries, and other items because it's not a question of whether or not I can afford these things.
That was my post, but I just got my TSP retirement account statement in the mail and while I had checked a short time ago to find that account was down 25%...it's a new feeling when it's down 40%. Forty percent. Almost half, perhaps soon to be half, of my sacrifice disappears. I've worked in gummint for over 14 years, and 7 years of 15% of my salary has gone poof. I know it's not permanent, I know it's better to have something to lose, I know I have 16 or more years of having it rise again with compound interest...but it's incredible to see such a large amount disappear. So on the one hand I'm greatful; on the other hand I'm a little scared.
No conclusion.
http://www.dieselsweeties.com/archive/2222
Wow. I've been mentally composing a post about how grateful I am for:
* The fact that while I stumbled through my education with no real direction, I did put energy into it misdirected or poorly directed or no - and that education has served me tirelessly to this day.
* Same thing with career - better to pursue *something* than to sit and wait for a specific thing. I have felt pathetic as my peers seem to have specific goals and dreams, while I only want to pay the bills and sluff off for fun. Still, I've done work and kinda-sorta pursued career, and those efforts have paid dividends. If I had a super-dooper goal perhaps I'd be higher, but I'm quite happy with the results of my half-assed efforts as compounded over time.
* The fact that I stuck with government for security while I watched others pursue and receive far more success in the private sector.
* The priority I put on happiness and me-time over financial success in isolation.
I'm torn on the subject of "success." By some measures I've achieved some success, but I don't feel proud as my identity is invested more in other places (I talk far more about how much I bench, deadlift, or squat than my grade, education, or financial standing). I know part of that is simply a product of two things: education and job success don't change often, and it's rude in some situations to talk about career and money. Still, I care far more about if I'm liked, if I'm seen as nice, if I'm seen as pretty, how I dance, and fluffy stuff above and beyond the stuff that looks good on paper.
Because I'm pretty? Because you're pretty.
However, as the destroyed economy is in the news daily, I've really become very grateful both to fate and to my own perseverance for the rewards I'm knee-deep in now. I have a job while unemployment skyrockets, and it's not a crappy low-paying job I hate but need to pay the bills. I have a home that is worth more than the balance on the mortgage, which is on a low fixed-interest rate. I have retirement accounts of reasonable size for my age. I have most of my health and insurance in case some day I don't.
Odd note - I have a boo and I'm grateful too. While you can't say googly-eyes are necessarily a product of work, if I had been whoring about, or if I had stayed in seclusion lamenting the state of the world as it related to my romantic life - I would probably not have met, recognized the value of, or been recognized as "valuable" by Janna. So while I call it some more important nontangible type of "success," and it's odd to say romance is a product of work, well...it is. Same types of issues, investing energy, not jumping at shadows, not jumping quick fixes that do long-term damage...yields a higher quality sustainable result. Of course a relationship requires work too and it won't always be fun and roses - the process continues.
So I've been mentally composing a kind of thanksgiving post in my mind - I hear every day how the world is falling apart, and I'm so happy that I'm not a laid-off high-priced douche crying because my 100k car is hard to pay for and my home is killing me; or I'm stuck in a miserable job to pay for my perceived "needs." I'm happy I'm not a blue-collar worker in Detroit, happier I'm not a small town apt dweller working 2 fast food jobs or cleaning hotel rooms. I'm happy for the comfort I have; happy that while I just replaced a heat pump I had the money to do it without fear or financing; happy I forget to check the price of dinner, bar tabs, groceries, and other items because it's not a question of whether or not I can afford these things.
That was my post, but I just got my TSP retirement account statement in the mail and while I had checked a short time ago to find that account was down 25%...it's a new feeling when it's down 40%. Forty percent. Almost half, perhaps soon to be half, of my sacrifice disappears. I've worked in gummint for over 14 years, and 7 years of 15% of my salary has gone poof. I know it's not permanent, I know it's better to have something to lose, I know I have 16 or more years of having it rise again with compound interest...but it's incredible to see such a large amount disappear. So on the one hand I'm greatful; on the other hand I'm a little scared.
No conclusion.
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no subject
Date: 2009-02-24 12:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-24 01:05 pm (UTC)Oh, and I refer to my job as a: life enabler.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-24 01:08 pm (UTC)Lucky for us we're not retiring soon.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-24 02:19 pm (UTC)Yes, I find you very valuable. Very valuable, José. And not because of your employment and your relative success in that. Because of you. Just you. Anything and everything you've done in your past makes you who I like today. You've worked for crazy romance stuff, and I like that. I guess I have too. :P
Any work stuff I like about you is that really, you're not a slacker. Not how much you make or your grade or your degrees. You work to pay those bills and sluff off to have fun. I'm glad we have fun together.
LaLa.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-24 02:26 pm (UTC)I'm glad we work, slack, and have fun together
(now our poor friends can regurgitate)
Silly boy . . .
Date: 2009-02-24 02:34 pm (UTC)Blargh the rainbow, everyone!
no subject
Date: 2009-02-24 02:42 pm (UTC)you see, the only way to make money in title is to scream to quit & jump companies. blindly, i believed that tenacity & tenure would pay off in the end. i stayed at the same company for almost ten years & was laid off with no severance due to the tanking market a year ago.
before that, i stayed in a job for four years, because i was paid $9 an hour & couldn't afford to leave because one false move & i would be evicted.
this year, i managed to find a good job with a comparable salary to the one i made at the title company. i've been laid off again.
i've never NOT worried about money. i spend about every other week freaking out until i know my rent check can clear, if my medicines will be paid for, & if there will be food, or if it will be a pasta-only week. i rely too much on the kindness of friends. i'm so used to it now, i wouldn't know any other way to live. do i blame it on college? not necessarily. this is an affluent area & in most areas of the country, it's not expected that you will go. i make an all-right salary. it's my own trying to keep up with my friends who don't qualify for the low-income tax refund while i do & won't accept it.
no subject
Date: 2009-02-24 02:49 pm (UTC)Thanks for letting me know (a while ago) about title companies - I thought they sounded pleasant :(
no subject
Date: 2009-02-24 03:10 pm (UTC)when i came to work at prudential i was so surprised that people didn't yell at each other or throw things!
hopefully the government will be different if i pass the clearance stuff...
no subject
Date: 2009-02-24 03:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-24 04:22 pm (UTC)I briefly considered not accepting my $300 stimulus check, then changed my mind, as it's the least they owe me for making me continue to file when I don't live in the US, have no income deriving from there, no interest income, no property, no reason to file except for their stupid rule.
It's had the same result though since they sent the check to the wrong post code and I've been chasing it ever since! Good thing I haven't already earmarked it for something like rent...
no subject
Date: 2009-02-24 06:57 pm (UTC)oh no! good luck tracking it down...:(
no subject
Date: 2009-02-24 06:46 pm (UTC)Just something to keep in mind... if you had followed all that and ended up at XM/Sirius you'd be in no different spot than you are in right now. 90% of the folk in DC were laid off. You would have been one of them.
I do hope your FBI interview went well - things will turn around for you lady.
--k
no subject
Date: 2009-02-24 06:58 pm (UTC)i think it will be okay...things have a way of working themselves out in the end.
We all hate rhymes
Date: 2009-02-24 03:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-24 06:41 pm (UTC)I think the key here is you have lived within your means.
--k
no subject
Date: 2009-02-24 07:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-02-25 03:35 am (UTC)