(no subject)
Oct. 26th, 2008 11:48 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vicarzJose is
not remembering why he hates somebody
warm and comfy in Murky drinking his second cup that tastes like a cookie
noticing that when he fucks off on the clock a lot during the week, though nobody complains or even notices, that he makes up for it by working on the weekend, so it begs the question of why be so adamant about not wanting to monitor billable hours
sad that his not-a-year-old HP media center computer just crashed - not a MS-OS crash, a root HD read-I/O error crash. It was bad enough I made my new computer into a $550 tivo, worse if the damn thing breaks physically before it lives a complete year.
still happy about last night
still happy he didn't actually do that early-morning drink thing so he could wake up 3-4 hours later, do morning, and then come to murky to do that work I didn't get done while fucking off this week and Sat too
putting off washing the car, balancing the tires, aligning the wheels, waxing the car, using rain-x on the windows, returning that stuff to home depot, ironing his clothes, dusting, vacuuming, mopping, watering the plants, working out, and trimming his toenails
sure he made plans with someone for something today but can't remember who, and hopes they forgot too
happy that girl is wearing a short very-80s dress - thinking she looks like either a monchichi or Ilen (though the dress, not the hair, is blue)
happy that goth girl is here every week with her mom
happy he still isn't all wrapped up in other people's bodies, that his categories have morphed into "people I'd put in my mouth," and "other"
proud of and happy for everyone marathoning today
happy that not being freaked out by church people because I have no idea what they think on an individual basis is sticking - one less thing to stop being so fucking judgmental about, and hopes he can hang on to that
noticing that me-changes seem to stick more lately
days away from dead-dad's birthday, and reflecting that the last time I wore that suit was when I spoke at his memorial
yelling "Holy shit $5 hot chocolate is back!" inside his tiny rat-brain
waiting for the post-church long line to subside so he can utterly fuck up his diet by getting that $5 hot cocoa
thinking of going to Florida to follow through on his offer for a slow comfortable drunk
twittering his LJ in one fell swoop
finding something he likes about each and every person he sees right now, that dress, those legs, that hair, that smile, the two of them wrapped in conversation, the other couple cuddling like they were in Chile, that suede fringe-covered jacket, and hoping this feeling lasts
reminded that there is no greater pleasure than the cessation of pain
making faces while he reads his own writing and not caring if that looks weird (ok not caring much, I guess I care somewhere in here else I wouldn't have commented on the fact)
wearing his blackberry
cracking up looking a the toddler who ate the chocolate icing off the top of his donut and wondering if we're related
wearing his favorite pair of patchwork chucks
probably going to reach his fat-loss goals right as the holiday season ends, and go nuts on all the half-priced candy and repeat the cycle again
trying to move more parts of his brain away from black-white on-off binary categorization
hoping these thoughts are interesting to someone else or even to myself later when I'm no longer under the influence of liquids, music, and vicarious people-interaction
not remembering why he hates somebody
warm and comfy in Murky drinking his second cup that tastes like a cookie
noticing that when he fucks off on the clock a lot during the week, though nobody complains or even notices, that he makes up for it by working on the weekend, so it begs the question of why be so adamant about not wanting to monitor billable hours
sad that his not-a-year-old HP media center computer just crashed - not a MS-OS crash, a root HD read-I/O error crash. It was bad enough I made my new computer into a $550 tivo, worse if the damn thing breaks physically before it lives a complete year.
still happy about last night
still happy he didn't actually do that early-morning drink thing so he could wake up 3-4 hours later, do morning, and then come to murky to do that work I didn't get done while fucking off this week and Sat too
putting off washing the car, balancing the tires, aligning the wheels, waxing the car, using rain-x on the windows, returning that stuff to home depot, ironing his clothes, dusting, vacuuming, mopping, watering the plants, working out, and trimming his toenails
sure he made plans with someone for something today but can't remember who, and hopes they forgot too
happy that girl is wearing a short very-80s dress - thinking she looks like either a monchichi or Ilen (though the dress, not the hair, is blue)
happy that goth girl is here every week with her mom
happy he still isn't all wrapped up in other people's bodies, that his categories have morphed into "people I'd put in my mouth," and "other"
proud of and happy for everyone marathoning today
happy that not being freaked out by church people because I have no idea what they think on an individual basis is sticking - one less thing to stop being so fucking judgmental about, and hopes he can hang on to that
noticing that me-changes seem to stick more lately
days away from dead-dad's birthday, and reflecting that the last time I wore that suit was when I spoke at his memorial
yelling "Holy shit $5 hot chocolate is back!" inside his tiny rat-brain
waiting for the post-church long line to subside so he can utterly fuck up his diet by getting that $5 hot cocoa
thinking of going to Florida to follow through on his offer for a slow comfortable drunk
twittering his LJ in one fell swoop
finding something he likes about each and every person he sees right now, that dress, those legs, that hair, that smile, the two of them wrapped in conversation, the other couple cuddling like they were in Chile, that suede fringe-covered jacket, and hoping this feeling lasts
reminded that there is no greater pleasure than the cessation of pain
making faces while he reads his own writing and not caring if that looks weird (ok not caring much, I guess I care somewhere in here else I wouldn't have commented on the fact)
wearing his blackberry
cracking up looking a the toddler who ate the chocolate icing off the top of his donut and wondering if we're related
wearing his favorite pair of patchwork chucks
probably going to reach his fat-loss goals right as the holiday season ends, and go nuts on all the half-priced candy and repeat the cycle again
trying to move more parts of his brain away from black-white on-off binary categorization
hoping these thoughts are interesting to someone else or even to myself later when I'm no longer under the influence of liquids, music, and vicarious people-interaction
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-10-26 04:12 pm (UTC)Very inspiring and it seems like a wonderful way to spend a Sunday morning.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-26 11:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-27 07:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-27 09:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-27 09:54 pm (UTC)really cool actually - esp the description of the toddler
no subject
Date: 2008-10-27 10:05 pm (UTC)and thank you :)
I wasn't sure it would trnslate to others outside of my murky atmosphere
no subject
Date: 2008-10-27 10:50 pm (UTC)i keep meaning to figure out how to post from my palm - i think i'd update more often if i could do it when i'm not at home and stressed out (trying to keep negative posts to a lower level - no-one needs to see that shit really, so i've gone back to a private journal for the bs) and i suspect those posts would be more like the one you just made