(no subject)

[vicarz]

A night on the Town:

I started off rock star - which is what you get when you start to take metro in canvas shoes, but walk out the door into a thunderstorm, prompting carrage. A block away over ten cop cars surrounded the damage that just took place at Howard's McD's. The club was empty except for a straight white bridal party and a few early regulars. Soon another bridal party, and then another. In fact, by the time any of my friends arrived - there were FIVE fucking all-white bridal parties in the house. That's a lot of girls randomly yelling "Whoo." Thank god for earplugz. Whoo-hoo. I have a new theory about whoo-girls: they're engaged in an evolutionary practice of piercing their own eardrums to make the cries of babies less painful so when they bear spawn the screams don't bother them as much.

The most amazing "bride to be" was an attention whoring little jew with devil horns on and, kid you not boys and goils, a flashing red light on her chest. The girl was unreal, all drinks held overhead before drinking, boobs flowing back and forth, many yells with and without the mike that included the words "fuck, fucking, yeah!" We were all taking votes on how long the attention whoring money-marrying jew-girl's marriage would last. Lovely rock, dear. The flashing red light hanging on her chest was priceless though - I mean she violated all my safe-sex rules, big-ass aside I wouldn't fuck that thing with two rubbers and a dental dam between us, but while we've joked about alarm bells going off before - she actually. Had. A. Flashing. Red. Light. Hey, if her man doesn't heed the warning buoy - the hell with him then.

The drag show, well when did it start? There was a well-muscled tranny? dancing non-stop on the floor for at least a half an hour - not a particularly good dancer, but so energetic I nearly followed her into the bathroom for the quality blow. The drag show started off slow, but after a couple heavy sisters did their thing, the crowd and acts started to pick up. During the show a smoking hot friend of mine asked if she was dressed ok - as she was gothidy'd up. I stared at her, did a toe-to-nose, and said" "Sister look up there: Every drag queen in this place wants to look like you. And your man - every drag king here wants to look like him. You two just keep on being you and we'll keep watching you fucking." I also got the comment that I'm so fit people must be scared to be naked in front of me...couldn't help but note the person saying this was already naked in front of me for all intents and purposes. Had to hop up when a troll-doll of a leather drag queen with a bright yellow mohawk came out to do "Missionary man." Bitch was smokin!

The music downstairs was much like what I listen too on the internet radio - a little bit more top-40 mixed into dance stuff than I'm used to, but perfectly fine to hear. After the drag show, or was it during, we headed upstairs where the music was far more generic housey. I think the dance floor filled up before 11, and somewhere around the midnight hour the bears off'd their shirts and many followed. The high-energy tranny/DQ was going full-on a ho-cube all night, again, amazing the difference of high-quality blow I guess.

I had my first pick-up attempt at the urinal. "Blah blah blah." Ignore. "Blah blah." Ignore. "So what's your name?" "No thanks." "What!?" "Some other time." "Oh, ok. That's ok then." I suppose a guy weenis out next to you thinking you're worth fucking should be a compliment, but a guy that's thinking of that, there, not so much so. Wish I didn't get pickups so much in the pee-hole, frankly.

Back to upstairs - heard a new songs I wanted to dance to, had fun standing around with my cute friends and doing a blow-by-blow (hello!) at the side of the dance floor. However, true to form my problem with the gay club is the issue of too much success - I am spoiled and used to having lots of room to dance. The only dance I could do in this place would be the space-clearing stuff (which I consider aggressive and rude, and probably just as likely to get more dick pressed against my ass than a free space to dance) or "the wiggle." Oddly the stage stayed clear except for a bunch of straight raver girls.

Formally met Kit, who was as nice as I've heard. Never talked to her before after seeing her around the clubs and my friends for years, but I guess being in an alt venue brings us all closer. Sweet girl.

So, I loved the place - may return on a Fri, where in before 10 is only $5 vs. the anytime on Sat $12. Since the cool kids show up at midnight, I'm thinking the thing to do is show up early and get or be a lil tipsy to start with - and get my shameless dancing on before anyone really shows up. Around midnight when the cool kids arrive, blow off and hit the parties or gothidy nights. Coz while I had fun, there was no getting my dance on, not to one song. The place was hopping though - big numbers in the club, no doubt. Funny - if Lori, Tony, and whomever have luck getting freak/gothidy/crossover nights happening there, there could be a very strong tracks-esque vibe going on there. Shootings in the neighborhood, mixed crowd, great space, high quality sound, even a green line metro like a block away. A lot of people lament about old tracks, ballroom, Nation...well town could be that. I LOVE the random freak-set showing up for random gay night - the looks exchanged were darling, good energy.

Comments

[greatevil.livejournal.com]

Fucking funny and good post to start my day with.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[empressmiaka.livejournal.com]

Awwwww, aside from how much space and resources bachelorette parties take up, I always fine them kinda cute. At least, along with the flashing red light, she didn't have "suck for a buck" or something.

[empressmiaka.livejournal.com]

And where WAS this place? It sounds awesome. lol

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Whoo-ing straight girls make me gay. Good god how incredibly annoying, and the social dynamics are terrifying. Most of the girls there didn't like each other (except the group of plain girls - they actually seemed nice and to have a good time). Or I'm judging.

She did have a suck for a buck sign on - see flashing red light, and swap buck for "public affirmation."

[empressmiaka.livejournal.com]

The true test of whether or not these are your stereotypical bridal party girls is whether or not they were texting/on phone with other people. lol

I never got that for my bachelorette party, so I don't understand the attraction, but they can be cute in a "awww" type way versus an attractive type way.

[turbogrrl.livejournal.com]

crap, the bridal parties have invaded? I shall have to complain to management. I don't want those kinds of people in my neighborhood.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

The bartenders were NOT pleased. Actually it was probably better they were there as no one else was until much later. Gotta have some material for us fags to laugh at?

[frontdoorangel.livejournal.com]

Just reading this made me tired. Glad you had a great time. :)

[kelowna.livejournal.com]

Bridal parties have to have a place to go now that Wet is gone!

[vicar.livejournal.com]

I didn't know they went there...I had seem them at Zeigfields (tamer, strippers in the back)

[ex-dasboot.livejournal.com]

Ugh, I drank too much.

Very fun time though.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Will be repeating :)
Perhaps not the drinking too much. After all our years of insanely strong drinks, the subtle regular strength drinks just feel like cola, c-o-l-a co-la...

[ex-dasboot.livejournal.com]

I think the bartenders all mix like Jay would mix. Ashley noted that her drinks were far stronger when one of the boys went and got it.

[guillotine-lure.livejournal.com]

Nick drank too much as well. I didn't expect the 3 drinks I had to make me as tipsy as they did. Suffice to say, it was interesting driving home.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Awww...glad it turned out ok. The drinks didn't seem strong to me - but next time we get those alcoholic slushies!

[guillotine-lure.livejournal.com]

Absolutely! And I meant what I said last night. I imagine your naked body intimidates even the hottest of boombalotty women and makes them question the goodness of even their own physique, hehe!

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Well that does it - I'm just going to have to mix things up with some hawt girlie clothing!

I think you might be insane, flattery aside. Guys are perfectly happy to look like slobs next to supermodels - that's what it says on the internet!

[rachel-gothic.livejournal.com]

Now that sounds like my kind of party!

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Then come on down! Now, this Thur is FU...

[fractalwoman.livejournal.com]

I am still on for catching the train at some point.....

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Cool! Yes, still invited and want to do - just swap apex for town :)