(no subject)

[vicarz]

Oh, a note. So every time I whine (that's wine with an h) about my weight, people tell me I'm being silly. Last night I ran into a lot of people I hadn't seen for a while, many of whom brought up my abs and soforth. I often said I wasn't showing them right now because, or just noted that, I wasn't happy with my abs as I had gained about 3 lbs. Just about every time I did this people exploded into comments that boil down to that's absurd, wish I had that small an issue, or you're just lovely as-is baby.

No problem. I know everyone is being sweet, means it when they say that I'm completely hot as-is, or is trying to give me a boost.

On the other hand a piece of advice: feel like I do. Seriously - I could forgive myself 3 lbs. I look just fine. I had forgiven myself 2 lbs. But now it's 3. How different is that? Not very. Hell, 5 lbs isn't visible to many, and it's barely above 3. And you know, 8 lbs is less than 10, and 10 is double digits. And you know, 10 lbs is nothing - you can see what a small difference it is on a bmi chart. And you know 10 is not that different than 12, and that's hardly a smidgen away from 15 - which still looks good and can fit into almost all of its clothes. See where we're going here?

IF I DIDN'T HAVE A CUTOFF POINT I'D JUST RATIONALIZE MYSELF OUT OF SHAPE. That's what it is all about. This attitude is how I do my job and got through law school. IF you think you have options, you will take them. When studying was not an option, I got it done. When class attendance was not an option, I went to class. When continuing with the gym on days x y and z was not an option, it got done. And when my weight is set to A and I reach B, the options don't exist. There is no rationalization option, no option to feel better about who I am as a person and ignore my body, or to just give it a few more days, weeks, months until (fill in event).

Someone asked me last night for a diet plan, unhappy with their weight. I said "Don't." I was exaggerating (same as when I sad hot chick plopped in my lap - but it was mostly true) (however, also very flattering was after many funny conversations, about 3 people asked to hook up with me on LJ because they thought it would be entertaining) of course, but I meant what I said. Dieting sucks - "You don't get to heaven by not-fucking, and you don't get a good body by not-eating." It's good to be reasonable with what you eat, and you can't just eat horrible foods nonstop and be in good health - but I think it is more important that you work out and make yourself strong than it is to have the "perfect tummy." The goal should be to do something, not to not-do something. And to achieve that goal, make it not an option.

So I do appreciate the sentiments I get, but if you mean what you say...stop meaning it for yourself. If there is something you should do, remove it from the list of options. Get in shape. Get that degree. Save that money. Whatever you need to do - make it happen.

Now me and my hangover are going for a tour de Gold's gym. It's going to hurt, it's going to suck, and it won't be my best workout by a long shot. I'd love to put it off, but I'm afraid I have no choice. It's not an option.

Comments

[kelowna.livejournal.com]

* You sound silly because you continually harp on it amongst people that are not as sharply concerned about their own weight to the degree you are therefore you are not creating an empathy cycle. If you harped on it at the gym that would make more sense because you are around people that "get it".

* I don't 'get' 3 pounds or would even agree that is accurate. Take a shit and you've lost 3 pounds.

* You stuff your face with choclate and then complain about 3 pds --- uhhhh huh?

* Dieting _is_ important. Especially as a launch point. I dieted. I cut out booze, sweets and fried food. After I began to get more in shape I slowly reintroduced them back in. The initial balance of a change in diet and exercise allowed results to occur with more speed.

--k

Clubbed like a harp seal

[vicar.livejournal.com]

harp harp harp join my church harp harp harp

I'm trying to help others get it, and not just for the gym - this was more an explanation about motivation. It's easy to understand when it's just physical stuff, but lots of people say they couldn't work and do school at the same time - well, once I felt the same way.

I won't sound silly until you see the informercial for my juicer!

Yes I stuff my face and then complain, yup yup yup. I do diet a little, but only to the point that I have a meal and then dessert rather than chocolate truffles and beer for dinner. I'm thinking of cycling a bit less, but ultimately my idiocy is resulting in good health overall.

Re: Clubbed like a harp seal

[kelowna.livejournal.com]

Good health ++

Honestly, I hope I never get a point that I spend six months continually reminding the world that i'm 3 pounds over my target! I already have enough tics!

JUICERS RULE.

--k

[cweaselle.livejournal.com]

I lost 21 pounds in 2 months. I don't think you want to lose weight like this. I take my walks when I can, but my legs are really hurting me. After they get even a little better I'm going back to walking. I'm not procrastinating, but it does seem that way. If I did what I am supposed to need I'd be getting at least 4 more surgeries. ;p

[vicar.livejournal.com]

You need to eat, wish you could.

[cweaselle.livejournal.com]

I do try to eat, but sometimes it's better to avoid food so that I don't lose food. I do my best, but that isn't always enough. I'm sure you understand that.

[joanarkham.livejournal.com]

I was thinking of you this morning as, hungover as well, I was watching this.

I think you should do it! I will go to cheer you on.

(Yes, I'm getting on the treadmill later.)

[vicar.livejournal.com]

I love that show! I think of it when I'm struggling through my tiny 10 pull-ups.

[faeriemage.livejournal.com]

Not that I've done any dieting, but I have a natural 3 pound fluctuation in my weight. I don't ever think I'm heavy or anything, but I can tell a difference in the way I look and physically feel;I prefer the lower number. It's difficult for people to understand.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

It is. My fluctuation is easy though: 2 lbs lighter in the AM. So when I'm where I should be, I'm 133 in the AM, 135 at night. Now I'm around 137.6 or so, and you can see my flub. I really enjoyed it when I just saw my ab muscles, and will be returning to that state.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_blackjack_/]

You realize that the amount of salt you eat in a day can account for more than that much of a fluctuation, right? You're counting pennies.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

I dont' think so - my weight seems very consistent, and I'm better able to guess what I weigh from a look in the mirror. If it's salt or retention, it looks silly on my tummy.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_blackjack_/]

So you're the only person on the whole planet who's weight doesn't fluctuate? Who doesn't retain water? Are you using a scientific-grade scale? What's it's margin of accuracy? I call bullshit on you. It is all in your head.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_blackjack_/]

Or let me put it this way: has anyone, other than yourself, ever noticed this "weight" on you, visually? No, of course not.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Yes! My ex noticed that I was "the fattest I've ever seen you," and the scale was 146. It didn't look good to me. The scale is very reliable - may not be accurate (it runs about 2 lbs lower than the scale at Gold's) but it does give consistent readings over time (sometimes I'm happy or not happy so I weigh in more than once in an hour, and it always nails the same reading down to the tenth of a pound).

I'm not saying I don't vary, but I seem to do it by 2 lbs or by eating too much cocao. I've eaten a lot, looked rolly in the mirror, and now the scale says I put on more weight.

I don't feel bad - in fact I've had a lot of fun food and booze, and would do it all again. Even Christy's butter/coconut/choclate concoctions from last night. But I'm not going to keep doing this, and I'm picking up the workout stuff again.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_blackjack_/]

You need to spend a little time reading up on metabolism. You can't gain 2 pounds of fat in a day. You'd have to eat an additional 7000 calories, and it would take more than a day to end up as fat. It's water. You're nuts.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Of course not - I wasn't saying this happened in a day. I'm saying I weigh 2 lbs more at night - probably due to water. However, if I weigh 135 in the AM there is a really good chance that by PM I'll weigh in at 137. I'm not sure where I'm creating the confusion here.

So I'm covering 2 subjects:
1. Daily weight gain and loss. I weigh 2 lbs more at night. Every day.
2. Weight gain and loss in general. Here, my consumption of 5 lbs of chocolate over the course of a week when I couldn't run due to injuries seemed to have been associated with a gain of about 2 lbs of overall weight. Then I kept eating fun stuff in huge quantities and earned another lb.

So a short time ago, say 3 weeks, I weighed in at 133 every AM and 135 every PM (give or take the fractions). Now I weigh in around 136 in the AM and 138 in the PM.

[kelowna.livejournal.com]

WELL DUH! You just ATE TWO POUNDS+ OF FOOD! Does that suddenly become 0 pounds the minute you chomped it into your gullet? You be smrtr than this dude.

--k

[kelowna.livejournal.com]

He's never weighed his shit or his piss. I think he thinks its weightless. Tho surprisingly after he has a bowel movement he has lost a few pounds. But, shhhhhh, we'll keep it our little secret so he spends more time posting in LJ about it ;)

--k

[vicar.livejournal.com]

I don't do that - I'm too pretty. No pee or poo.

[bluvampr.livejournal.com]

it's funny, i understand both sides of this argument.

to the person who has struggled with their weight for a long time and doesn't have the drive you do, and constantly has to deal with weighing 20, 30, 40 pounds more than they "should", you, mister fit as a fiddle, griping about 3 measly pounds could sound like an insult. and incredibly insignificant.

but, as someone who values a fit body, maintaining your target, and not straying beyond a certain margin of error is essential. 3 lbs does very easily become 5, which easily becomes 7, which then becomes 10, if you don't pay attention or get fatalistic about the whole thing, or don't know how to go about starting to lose weight.

a lot of people feel powerless over their bodies because they've never learned to control them. you have. that's a wonderful feat, and we all love looking at your pretty muskles. maybe just don't talk about those 3 pounds so much ;)

(and hey, if you ever get sick of being a lawyer, you always have a backup career as a personal trainer or something :) )

[vicar.livejournal.com]

It took me years and years to get here! I've always kind of done some activity, but never really go nutty with it until I joined a gym in 1995. A few years later I got lucky and went to a gym where they had an interactive staff who coached you as you worked out (if you wanted). I learned a bunch from them, made a couple friends, and started to really grow. Once I grew, people noticed the muss-kles and the cycle really got started.

I've actually constantly thought of being a trainer - for several reasons:
1. I like to teach and help others. I mean look at this LJ - sure I'm kind of a dick, but a lot of the time I'm trying to pass on my knowledge to my friends and others. I want to help, and this might be an area in which I could.
2. Uh, I could use the $. I'm still a little shocked at how much money I spend now compared to a year ago.
3. The bar seems pretty low for trainers.
4. It would give me yet another way to hide my lawyer-status, by accurately describing my job/career as "personal trainer." I'd just skip over that whole litigator thingy.

I think the problem that I run into is people act like I've always been like this. You remember me from my skinny crossdresser days - and know that I've learned and developed this discipline over more than a decade. I know others can do this, many who would benefit physically and psychologically from the development. I think I need to spend more time developing the way to communicate the message to others - broaden my audience.

Maybe that's what I need to write.