(no subject)

[vicarz]

I've been working on my listening skills, trying to make sure I understand what speakers are saying and trying to also communicate to them the fact that I'm listening. I knew this was a problem, and I was working on fixing it. However, I've identified a root cause of the problem I didn't know about. I just knew I was distractable and often faded in and out when people were speaking, but what I didn't know is why. Well now I know; you see, the real problem is that I don't care what people are saying to me. It's not about me, so I'm not interested. I love to communicate, but by that I mean talk, and by talk, I mean about me! I want to tell you about what is interesting to me, and that's...me. Maybe that's why I LJ so much - I get to yabber on about myself.

Yabber = yammer + jabber

More seriously, I was noticing I (see I'm talking about me again) don't have any interests. No hobbies. I like my friends, I want more friends, and I want to be able to spend more time with the friends I have - but doing what? It seems like every hangout involves food, drinking, clubs...but what is the commonality overall? I don't really have favorite authors, I'm not a renfest hobbyist, I don't follow local bands, I'm not into team sports, I don't watch a series tv show - I mean really, what do I do exactly? What is the thread that holds us together? I feel like I'm interested in the end product but am missing the pieces that show what that is the end product of. I want to be having fun with my friends at a party, sure, but why are they my friends, what did we do together, how did the party form, and what is being reflected in our words that isn't obvious to the outside eye? I don't know!

In completely different news, my father breathed for 30 minutes without the ventilator yesterday. He wasn't oxygen free, but they were able to have him breathe fully on his own with only a higher (40%) flow of oxygen fed to him when he did breathe. They did that as a test to see if he was a likely candidate to wean from the machine at the hospital, vs. months is a rehab facility specifically designed to wean folks off of respirators. He also is up to watching tv, answering questions, and has even started grabbing us for attention and indicating things that bother him. Anything could go wrong, but right now it looks like the fucker is going to live. A week ago...a week ago...I was sick and reporting to the hospital to find out if we should pull the plug.

Comments

[pictsy.livejournal.com]

Freaky. I can't imagine being without some kind of passionate interest or hobby.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

The word passion almost gives me the creeps. I have a lot of friends, mostly into artistic ventures, where they talk about anything that doesn't inspire and develop their passion is worthles...and I just don't get it. Sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's work, but I don't have something that makes or breaks my spirit. Food and shelter come first, then comes the fun. Passion? I am motivated and work hard, but I'm not sure that equates to passion per se.

Interests and hobbies I seem to have, but they don't feel like what most of my peers seem to be in to. I'm not about to devote my life to painting or watching football, so I'm not sure where that leaves me.

[pictsy.livejournal.com]

I guess I feel the same way about "careers." I've never particularly wanted to "be" anything for any length of time. I envy people who know what they want to do with themselves professionally.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Agreed - career people are spooky, as are financial ladder-climbers. I like career, but only because it represents security, some accomplishment, and the ability to play.

You appear to want to be an arial dancer - is that being something, only not a material career? Or is that a hobby? Or art? How different is that?

[pictsy.livejournal.com]

I think about going pro, but I would have to work a lot harder, diversify my skill set, be willing to move anywhere, and be willing to earn very little, all of which are pretty iffy for me. Unless I wanted to do it topless in Vegas, which I don't. I also experience frequent headaches and tendinitis, which don't go well with aerial stuff. :)

I'm not into the art as much as the entertainment aspect. I'm an attention junkie but I feel like it should be earned.

Wouldn't you say that weightlifting/body-building is a hobby of yours?

[vicar.livejournal.com]

I would say more, that I'm also an attention junkie and also feel it should be earned. We never really got into the hair/outfit vs. abs/muscles thing, but that's what it boils down to. Shallow as earned body = ok. Want me because of my outfit/makeup/hair = ick. Not at all logical.

Kel, below, noted a lot of hobbies and interests: school, working out (boxing conditioning, running, and weightlifting), stocks/investment strategies, music, clubs...each is a hobby, and I'm engaged in all. Perhaps I'm not an expert in any one thing in part because I work on so many things. Still, it hardly leads to conversations. Who wants to talk about stocks?

[bentrazor.livejournal.com]

I'm the same way. I have stuff I like and like doing, but nothing I can talk at length about or define myself by.

Except screenprinting, I guess, but people's interest in screenprinting goes as far as them REALLY wanting to tell you all their REALLY COOL HILARIOUS shirt ideas. So I never talk about that much.

[djpsyche.livejournal.com]

Dear, your hobby is getting degrees! And building pecs! What time do you have for any silliness like ren fairing or TV?

[eac.livejournal.com]

I was gonna suggest the abs, myself.

[kelowna.livejournal.com]

In terms of your interests/hobbies:

* working out
* boxing
* school
* stocks/savings/development
* music... generally
* chocolate

:D

[samaritan1975.livejournal.com]

And plush viruses. Can't forget them!

[vicar.livejournal.com]

They don't feel like hobbies, but I guess they are. But do they leave me much to talk about? Do I do them with people? Are there clubs that meet and have cons on teh subject? I dunno...just seems like everyone else has interests and hobbies they bond with other people on.

All of mine are quite a mountain if viewed together, but I'm not devoted to any one of them. Except chocolate.

[kelowna.livejournal.com]

Alot of people talk about those subjects... however, you may not find many of them in a "goth club". Also people who talk about some of those subjects may not satisfy your other "alternative" needs.

I had an ex-boyfriend obsessed with cars. I envyed his hobbie, passion, interest and skill because he seemed so overwhelmingly focused on it and happy because of it.

My interests/passions aren't as easily articulated and more come from an array of experiences and accomplishments.

For you to say you aren't devoted to the gym and physical fitness is.... wrong. :)

--k

[cweaselle.livejournal.com]

I'm really glad that your dad is even doing this much better.

I kind of understand the trying to figure out what your hobbies are. Mine are a little weird for most people, but I think that the weirdness might be what makes people like us friends. That's just my opinion though. I definately could be wrong.

[sunnyfunny.livejournal.com]

so you're saying every convo we've had was just you waiting for your turn?.... ass! :-*

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Yes - I was waiting for my turn for ass! ;P

[freja999.livejournal.com]

Eh, you are a little snot. Doesn't make it better that you know it. Which is worse, a self-centered snot who has no idea that he's a self-centered snot or a self-professed self-centered snot who is quite content being so? As it is, you're pretty enough for most people to not care. Hey this whole post was about you! Did I hook you in? ;)

[vicar.livejournal.com]

I was hoping it was better if I knew it. How about if I apologize and continue on the same way? ;P