(no subject)

[vicarz]

It only took 4 days to get bored for the first time. I'm trying to read reefer madness, but while it is supposed to fill me with outrage, I just find myself bored stiff. I already know the drug laws are insane, I've heard of the political history of drug laws, I know politicians and organizations have switched sides on the issue(s), and I know some general stats of the damage the drug enforcement hysteria does to our country. I guess my lack of surprise makes the book of history, stats, and anecdotes dull. Perhaps it's just too early to think about recreational reading yet. Perhaps if you already think the policies are manifestly unfair and only result in harm it's dull to rub the nerve for hours on end (or in my case, minutes at a sitting). Nothing on tv.

Today I did the coffee (currently a legal drug, but due to its link to journalism, counter-culture, and disfavored agricultural groups - it may be tomorrow's evil to stamp out...just one mormon president might tilt the balance), hit the gym (didn't do so well, am I getting weaker rather than stronger?), put shades in the empty bedroom windows, cleaned the floors, and got groceries. At 4pm everything that needed doing was done, and there was nothing on tv. All that time I lamented what i was missing by studying...well, here it is. Huh.

Forgot to mention a little panic I had during my first day of the bar exam:
When you have "examsoft" on your laptop, and you've completed an exam, it will automatically try to send it when you boot your computer. My computer takes about 5-10 minutes to boot up and set up all the firewalls etc. before it can talk to anyone or the net...so the software never quite works right. Inbetween the two sessions there was no way to upload the morning session's answers (they split the exam into two exam files, AM & PM). Somehow when my computer got annoyed with the reboot, and I tried to start the software for the afternoon session - it deleted the pm exam completely. I hadn't written a thing, but without the exam file I couldn't type and would be forced to hand write the thing. Luckily for me they had examsoft techies there, one of whom easily loaded the exam file (again) from a flash drive. I was up and running, swallowing the recent near-panic, just as the exam began.

Comments

[lilu22.livejournal.com]

Hello...
Happy belated post exam Yippie!

.....
only four days? I think it takes me about 4 hours. I crash and then when I wake up, I wonder, "now what?" and nothing seems worthy of my time or understanding of my mood. Maybe that doesn't describe it correctly, but today I am feeling stir crazy and feel some comfort in reading about your's.
.....
Hmmm, maybe some of the drama won't need to be drama anymore. It just won't have the same relevance and, you know, that's okay. There's no need to hold onto issues that don't really feel like issues anymore.

.... Oh my god, I'm giving unsolicited advice. Well, you probably expect it from me. I'm in Toastmasters now and have learned one major thing about myself....I consider everything a learning opportunity or a teaching moment. What's the point of talking if I'm not learning or teaching? Every presentation I've given so far is described as "informative." I want to give another type of speech, but for the life of me I can't visualize a presentation that has any other purpose (no topic comes to mind). I feel like a lost cause and that I will always be a "mom" in life. No wonder I don't want kids. If I feel responsible for the world, how could I possibly add another person to the mix?
Wow...I really wish I was having fun instead of researching. Too much time to think...distractions are much better.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

wtf is toastmasters? Alcoholics united? If it's a self-improvement group...creepies! But I always like advice - unsolicited is fine.

My favorite "have kids" thought is "wtf will I do with all my $ when I die?"

[lilu22.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, that question is a good one. My solution is to bequeath it to a select number of non-profits (the children of society).

Okay, Toastmasters is a club for learning how to deliver speeches. I like public speaking and decided to try and develop this skill deeper.

BTW, I attend the meetings two Saturdays a month and just recently joined a Zumba class. Have you heard of Zumba? I consider it Jazzercize on Latin Crack. It is like doing a salsa dance non-stop for an hour, but while moving your arms around to get a full body work out. Between this and biking to the Metro, someday my muscles will remember they exist.

Um, and downward mood swing has passed (thank god!). Hugs.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Very happy you're found working out things that are fun for you! Next time you get in a downward spiral (ugh) give me a call and I'll make it worse be happy to help.