(no subject)

[vicarz]

I'm in Nebraska. It is flat. The guy I'm traveling with is very rude to most everyone, and thinks it's funny ("It's not personal.") Our flight to Lincoln was cancelled, so instead we flew to...

I never finished that post. I can't start this one. I thought I had a lot to say, now I'm blank. I've been non-stop bullshit for 4 days now, from plane delays, logistics, the case in chief, to putting up with Ron's bullshit. He loves an audience, as everyone does, only he's an asshole in chief. I'm showing my adult side - I can withstand the humiliation of being associated with this guy who is so rude and not just inconsiderate, but takes deliberate joy from hurting other people for sport. I could also walk through the airport with sandals and brown socks, though the humiliation factor would be far less. I don't care about being a fashion emergency, but hurting people is morally wrong.

The worst part was today, leaving on a 6am flight, and having my connecting flight delayed to 1pm or so. The delay wasn't so bad as my choice of books - I may finish this "Prozac Nation" book, but only to drive the hatred of Elizabeth Wurtzel to a fine point to ensure than when the rage cools there is still enough to run out and strangle the bitch. Not just kill her, no, strangle her until she fights for her life, let her breathe, choke her again, and make her death slow and painful - slow enough that she appreciates how narrow her view of the world is. Fighting for survival does a lot for your perspective. What a vapid twit. On page 266 I find she has done nothing but rant about her depression and blame everyone but herself, admit she has no reason to be depressed, admit it's not chemical, and then distance herself from any responsibility for any of her actions. It hits a nerve, this failure to take responsibility for your own condition, your own actions. Her style was cute for about 10 pages, then it's just repetitious. There is a ton of name dropping, authors, bands, places, but the twit never comments on the substance of any of her references. It's like dropping the DJs name but clearly not knowing a thing about them personally. This many pages in I can tell the inconsistencies in her story - she's exaggerated her trauma, minimized responsibility for any of her actions, and mislead her audience about anything that might look bad. She goes into intimate detail about some mental processes and physical attributes as though this was somehow revealing, while it is all surface. I'm going to finish...I can't go this far and not, but it's hurting like hell. I hate her and see through her persona. How was this a best-seller, lowest common denominator? What a spoiled little shit.

Understand I was stuck in the airport for 4 or more hours. I stopped reading many times, but lacked other distractions. Eventually I felt like a cutter - just hurting myself on purpose to marvel in how I could take the pain. Writing...so...bad...

Perhaps when I'm done with law school I will write. I'm not brilliant nor do I have amazing insights to impress the intellectual elite, but I can write better than this twit. Perhaps I have enough knowledge to pass along. There is something to writing, your voice will outlive you in written form. I like to help, perhaps I could compose something useful to others. I remember being helped by books, having amazing revelations about my life while reading "Satan, his psychotherapy and cure..." Imagine if I could give my voice to some of my knowledge and mesh the two into something that touched many.

I think I'm crashing from the travel. Nothing brain left.

Comments

[telie13.livejournal.com]

I hate hate hate elizabeth wurtzel. Seriously, I want to tie her up in a sack and throw her whining ass in the river.

Prayers to the business travel gods coming your way dear.

[kelowna.livejournal.com]

I found Prozac Nation to be rather accurate reflection of that sort of state of mind. I read it when I first tried Prozac, I think, in 1994. Problem is, a mature maind reads that book and thinks... BITCH WIZE UP. Well if she could wize up, she wouldn't have had to be put on medication.

Her book BITCH was just absolute non-cohesive crap.

--kelowna

[vicar.livejournal.com]

It may be accurate, but you could sum up the self-indulgent tripe in 10 lines of text. 260 pages later she's added nothing except explained over and over how self-indulgent she actually is, and how no matter how she is interacting she's still just a spoiled child masturbating her own needs with other people. Bleah. Most of the time she is not on prozac at all. I've known depressed people, but she's really just more of a NY jap (as noted). It's not about wizing up, it's about seeing any concern other than her own. She doesn't (not yet).

I don't think it's a question of not understanding, not at all. It's not about wizing up, it's beyond depression...it's the most selfish thing I've ever seen. Hell, I'm glad she's sad. At least this book shows that if you are truly not interested in anyone else's welfare, that you too will be miserable.

Depression is sad, but this is just a spoiled brat throwing a long drawn out tantrum.

[kelowna.livejournal.com]

Tough line between 'spoiled brat' and 'mental illness'. If we think someone is a spoiled brat and acting irrationally that is because we understand what irrational is. They do not. Sure, she can be articulate, but hell, read some of my old blogs.. i've been writing on line since 1996. I glance back at them and go: DAH FUCK WAS I THINKING!#@!@# And wonder why someone didn't backhand me. I was self medicating with booze. At a portion in time was given a messed up concotion of pills from doctors who didn't know what the problem was. Major chemical imbalances that caused some really distressed behaviour. You can stand, a bit strong and wizer, and pass judgement on the young, foolish and fucked up -- but it doesn't mean her story does not resonate. I do agree with your point : 'if you are truly not interested in anyone else's welfare, that you too will be miserable'. Very accurate point - sometimes very difficult to manage when you are caught in a negative cycle.

--kelowna