(no subject)

[vicarz]

Shit and damn. I just found out the crappy litigation and dispute resolution theory course I have was just cut out of the regulatory track today, 2 weeks into the semester. Fuck. Me. Ten minutes after that I found out that my grade in that summer course, the one with 200 pages of reading per week, that I killed myself to do the paper on time when no one else did, revising over and over per the prof's input...I only got a B . My GPA remains stuck at 3.20 - virtually no change. That's a plain B , and I'm still not in the top 25% of the class. All that time for nothing, again.

I put in more time than any of my peers, and yet my rewards are constantly mediocre. My best efforts lead to mediocrity. For fuck's sake, it's discouraging. I'm lucky so few others are trying.

Comments

[eac.livejournal.com]

I may deserve to be batted over the head for asking this, but do you ever judge the worth of your work by what you're learning rather than by the grade the prof chooses to award you?

[vicar.livejournal.com]

No. I work for grades, learning is a side-effect but not a strong one. I seek specific goals, and fail to achieve them. Knowledge is worthless, only scoring numbers counts.

[eac.livejournal.com]

Well, good to have that cleared up...

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Sigh...thank you, of course your comments make sense and are appreciated. Of course I'm exaggerating, and I'm taking full advantage of the fact you're used to it. Still, it's frustrating...be it boxing, lifting, money, career, school...any possible criteria people are measured against (yes people are measured on these) I can't win. Hell, if you rank looks and dating I fail there too.

I am in whine mode, yup. Since I can't win, I might as well complain.

[eac.livejournal.com]

Hey, I truly wasn't trying to beat you up; I'm in a cranky mood lately, and you and Jack get the brunt of it. I should just be quiet and not be all tediously taking the officious high ground.

I just really think that you're far more accomplished - and versatile - than those stupid grades show, and you ought to remember it.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

I could drop it, but I'd be insane to pick up another class 2 weeks into the semester. I can hardly keep up with these guys as it is.