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Aug. 30th, 2005 09:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vicarzhttp://www.livejournal.com/users/kelowna/612688.html
has pictures from our last Old Rag hike that I like. Please note I sucked my gut in for the “chiseled” picture, as I ate all you can eat for a week straight in WV.
The group I’m working for is ECIMS, Executive Correspondence and Issues Management Staff. Issues Management, and me. Now that’s funny.
I had a lot of fun out there in WV training the field personnel. It turns out that there are some things I enjoy or am good at - training is one of them. Maybe someday I can combine my law experience with my enjoyment of doing seminars and whatnot?
I’m sad. My job security is gone, and I am facing uncertainty with what I will be doing where. Security is very important to me, so feeling somewhat ungrounded is unsettling. No matter how long I review my stocks, my accounts, my options and resume - I just hate not knowing what is in store for the next ten years.
School isn’t what I was hoping for. Each class is a hard-core seminar in anti-government, so far not even addressing the law. I don’t mind alternative viewpoints, but there is a point where I get tired of paying to be preached propaganda. One class assigns hundreds of pages of reading a week, another has turned out to be a stealth writing class with another 20 page paper. I specifically avoided any course that would require writing this term - but they don’t tell you which courses are writing ones, they’re not marked, there is no list. The president of GALLA dropped out of law school, and I really don’t care to pick up the slack as none of the other officers have done a lick of work for the organization.
All these problems are self-inflicted, so I can’t even lament about them. I choose to go to law school, to continue and not drop out. I choose to address my abusive boss by moving on. I choose to work when I could not work for an extended period of time and live off my future oriented funds.
I choose, but I feel…it’s like I’m far away from a party. I am on a hill, and I see the lights across the lake. I can make out the bass, and know the song. My mind fills with images of what the party is like, images certainly more enviable than the reality. Even if I was there, chance are I would feel just as far away - the voices muffled even next to me, the faces all strangers, the conversations not anything I care about or can contribute to. I can make myself not care, but I do. I want to be a part of it. I know somehow it’s me that keeps me on the outskirts, that cares about this and not about that, that knows the game but doesn’t play. I know I choose to be far away, but I still want to be part of it. The muffled sounds make it matter.
I hadn’t thought about the stupid hurricane hitting anything but NO. I am annoyed by lamenting about people who are stranded - those morons that didn’t leave the area when warned about the hurricane and likely flooding to follow. You are a moron if you have to be saved from the attic or roof of your house - who didn’t know what was coming?Now I understand no one has heard from my sister. duh on my part, wrong redneck state
has pictures from our last Old Rag hike that I like. Please note I sucked my gut in for the “chiseled” picture, as I ate all you can eat for a week straight in WV.
The group I’m working for is ECIMS, Executive Correspondence and Issues Management Staff. Issues Management, and me. Now that’s funny.
I had a lot of fun out there in WV training the field personnel. It turns out that there are some things I enjoy or am good at - training is one of them. Maybe someday I can combine my law experience with my enjoyment of doing seminars and whatnot?
I’m sad. My job security is gone, and I am facing uncertainty with what I will be doing where. Security is very important to me, so feeling somewhat ungrounded is unsettling. No matter how long I review my stocks, my accounts, my options and resume - I just hate not knowing what is in store for the next ten years.
School isn’t what I was hoping for. Each class is a hard-core seminar in anti-government, so far not even addressing the law. I don’t mind alternative viewpoints, but there is a point where I get tired of paying to be preached propaganda. One class assigns hundreds of pages of reading a week, another has turned out to be a stealth writing class with another 20 page paper. I specifically avoided any course that would require writing this term - but they don’t tell you which courses are writing ones, they’re not marked, there is no list. The president of GALLA dropped out of law school, and I really don’t care to pick up the slack as none of the other officers have done a lick of work for the organization.
All these problems are self-inflicted, so I can’t even lament about them. I choose to go to law school, to continue and not drop out. I choose to address my abusive boss by moving on. I choose to work when I could not work for an extended period of time and live off my future oriented funds.
I choose, but I feel…it’s like I’m far away from a party. I am on a hill, and I see the lights across the lake. I can make out the bass, and know the song. My mind fills with images of what the party is like, images certainly more enviable than the reality. Even if I was there, chance are I would feel just as far away - the voices muffled even next to me, the faces all strangers, the conversations not anything I care about or can contribute to. I can make myself not care, but I do. I want to be a part of it. I know somehow it’s me that keeps me on the outskirts, that cares about this and not about that, that knows the game but doesn’t play. I know I choose to be far away, but I still want to be part of it. The muffled sounds make it matter.
I hadn’t thought about the stupid hurricane hitting anything but NO. I am annoyed by lamenting about people who are stranded - those morons that didn’t leave the area when warned about the hurricane and likely flooding to follow. You are a moron if you have to be saved from the attic or roof of your house - who didn’t know what was coming?
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no subject
Date: 2005-08-30 01:50 pm (UTC)I don't think they're all morons... some of them just made bad decisions, or were forced to make a choice.
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I really like your far away from a party description. it painted a vivid image for me.
no subject
Date: 2005-08-30 01:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-08-30 04:52 pm (UTC)Living in a hurricane state, I also have another perspective on this. While it may seem trivial and "stupid" to you, a lot of people evacuate leaving one family member behind in their home because of the massive amount of looting that happens during hurricanes.
People get terrified of the idea that the water won't take everything they own and they'll get back to find out that a criminal has, instead. This is especially the case when they can't afford to replace things like refrigerators, TVs, their kids computers or beds, etc. To us, it's just "stuff." To them, it's years of work, saving, sacrifice and struggle. They defend it the same way our ancestors defended their home, homes on the range.
Despite everything that I just said, I live in a city that is prone to severe flash flooding. When people do stupid things like driving through high water and getting stranded, I get annoyed too. I know that sometimes when you're driving up on high water, you can't tell that it's there. I've discovered that from experience. That's why you drive slowly, though, so you don't end up window-deep in flood water before you realize you're driving in it!
no subject
Date: 2005-08-30 04:55 pm (UTC)I was actually trying to point out the juxtaposition between my first bias of morons and then my familial concerns. It appears I wasn't clear.