vicarz | (no subject)

On the way home from a craptacular night of craptacular music and craptacular people at nation, I swapped out Wumpscut for the radio and was blessed with Joe Jackson:
Tonight's the night when I go to all the parties down my street
I wash my hair and I kid myself I look real smooth
Look over there! (Where?) Here comes Jeanie with her new boyfriend...
They say that looks don't count for much - there goes your proof

Why break the no quoting lyrics rule? Well it's late, and I'm diggin the retro music, but more importantly I have to point out that boys are every much as bitchy as girls if not more so. Sure they'll hit each other, but ultimately they just want affirmation as much as any cam whore. Don't believe me? Check out SUV and convertible drivers and tell me I'm wrong. Seriously - just look and read them. Listen to frat boys gossiping in the gym. Duh.

I think the tank tops on me are out. I once wanted muscles - be careful what you wish for. Ultimately nothing you wish for is what you want, each achievement is just another learning experience, but once in a while you want to believe that it's a goal, not a process. I cut my hair because I realized what the "bait" was catching, and outgrew that shallow need. Now I have these silly muscles that make defenses flare up, and attract attention equally as bad as the hair. Duh again.

There is no goal to be achieved, not in the long run. There is just another stair followed by another stair. I know that's a good thing, but just once in a while I wish there was some goal that could be achieved, something that meant "I'm done" and that rather than a feeling of uselessness some sort of relief would follow, some long pause to enjoy the fruits of labor rather than enjoying labor itself.

I was given good advice tonight - it's not that I'm not listening, it's just that I take a while to process. Ok sometimes I'm not listening - but much of tonight I just knew it would have to simmer for a bit.

Oh, and Tony's disgust is a priceless thing to witness. He's so dignified, but wow does his face speak volumes.