vicarz | (no subject)

I'm torturing myself.

I have spent days worrying about this damn paper. I keep taking breaks, running errands, making exceptions...all the while miserable while this crap looms over my head. I don't think I've spent 2 full 8 hour days working on this project yet I've made 4 days of my life miserable worrying about it. There is always one more thing to do, one more nap I could take, one more coke that'll really get the juices going. All the while I'm suffering, getting nothing done and sinking more into a spiral of worry about it.

When I do work I'm all over the place, tackling ECPA itself, then related issues, then panicking that I don't understand search and seizure as it relates to the USPS, and then reconfusing myself as I view private carriers like FedEx (who has deputized agents) vs. UPS (which respects privacy more). I jot this down, note that other there, make a chart, rearrange it...all the while not really understanding what the hell is going on.

Now I pretty much understand ECPA in terms of title I&II, and the courts insane interpretation of the limited number of cases they have encountered. Spiffy - but how do I propose to fix it? What gives both a clear notice of what the law is consistent with public expectations and legislative intent, that is not a duct-tape legislative fix or judicial lawmaking?

I expected to waste my weekend, but then have a draft done by yesterday evening. I built in a reward for myself - that if I was done I could go out with friends and see the fireworks. Instead, I screwed around all day with half a plan and then less, before realizing that I couldn't concentrate after 8pm anyway. Luckily Colin called and tolerated my wavering of working or going out. Colin, Nadra, and I all sat on the porch and wound up accidentally watching fireworks. It was a very happy accident in an otherwise panicky weekend.

I write 10-30 page documents all the time, but they are on subjects I have pre-existing knowledge of with fact patterns I have to explain - this makes writing so much easier.

I emailed my whopping 4 pages of outline to my professor, who said they will review any paper at any stage. That creates another break - no reason to work while I wait for input.

I hear thunder...think I'll just sit outside for a bit.