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Mar. 25th, 2005 08:54 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
vicarzThey way to the top in the office? Be like the fat fag! (I'm quoting)
http://www.bravotv.com/Project_Runway/The_Designers/Jay/
I was thinking about a couple of folks on LJ whining about work, when I clicked on the mind-drug and hopped over to bravo. Just before going to school, I got to see a finger-in-face bitch-fest with Wendy, Kara, and poor Jay stuck sort of in the middle (or off to the side).
Many people whine about being wanting to be left alone at work, as though they can work in social isolation. Many people complain about the sophomoric behavior of the people around them. Many people complain about backstabbers and cheaters in the office. These problems are real! They won't go away! Most people learn their basic social skills by the 8th grade, but also fail to extend past that. They continue through life playing the same games - it's not immature per se, it's just...average. Still - most of us don't progress either. Just complaining about how the office people suck and not learning to work around that is also a form of stagnation. Er, many people think when you say "many people" on LJ you're just begging for drama < Ducks >.
Talent aside, Jay showed what I consider to be the best possible social skill in the office for the long-term. He rarely said anything negative, even if the whole crew was ripping on someone. He always said something positive, or just made a joke about himself and fluttered away. He was like a duck - water just flowed right off of him. He was also humble. He didn't make the arrogant statements about his abilities, or when he did it was jokingly done. He was aloof and silly, good god the thinks he threw on put QE's Carson to shame - and ensured he wasn't taken seriously.
Jay's conduct made it very unlikely he would be the target of aggression. He did his work and did it well. He made fun of himself, so he wasn't a likely target for the insecure backstabbing folk - why attack someone who says they are clueless? I tend to think he just knew that work would prevail regardless of the political games of the players, though it's also possible he was just more into the work than his competitor's issues. He never acted as an aggressor or an ally to one, so the people that wanted to fight found no ammo in him. So with his simple aloof nature, he kept the riff raff off of him.
The real trick was that he had that distance without coming across as fake. That is a difficult balance, for being aloof is one thing - but being distant in the workplace is almost always a liability. A lot of those people who suck in the office have little else in their lives - they're miserable and the office squabbles are how they define themselves. If they see someone as not caring about the office, or being involved elsewhere to the point they don't share it with the office, they just go bonkers. Whether they realize or not, the difference and/or envy make them enter a frenzy of attack to tear down at the person who dares to enjoy life more than they do.
"Be like a duck" only applies to the water issue. If you "paddle like the dickens underneath the surface" then eventually that is going to show. The real trick is to be as calm and water-shedding as the duck appears. If you are just covering up your reaction inside, eventually you'll crack and most people can read through a facade anyway.
My 2ยข - your mileage and interpretation may vary - opinions welcome as always!
http://www.bravotv.com/Project_Runway/The_Designers/Jay/
I was thinking about a couple of folks on LJ whining about work, when I clicked on the mind-drug and hopped over to bravo. Just before going to school, I got to see a finger-in-face bitch-fest with Wendy, Kara, and poor Jay stuck sort of in the middle (or off to the side).
Many people whine about being wanting to be left alone at work, as though they can work in social isolation. Many people complain about the sophomoric behavior of the people around them. Many people complain about backstabbers and cheaters in the office. These problems are real! They won't go away! Most people learn their basic social skills by the 8th grade, but also fail to extend past that. They continue through life playing the same games - it's not immature per se, it's just...average. Still - most of us don't progress either. Just complaining about how the office people suck and not learning to work around that is also a form of stagnation. Er, many people think when you say "many people" on LJ you're just begging for drama < Ducks >.
Talent aside, Jay showed what I consider to be the best possible social skill in the office for the long-term. He rarely said anything negative, even if the whole crew was ripping on someone. He always said something positive, or just made a joke about himself and fluttered away. He was like a duck - water just flowed right off of him. He was also humble. He didn't make the arrogant statements about his abilities, or when he did it was jokingly done. He was aloof and silly, good god the thinks he threw on put QE's Carson to shame - and ensured he wasn't taken seriously.
Jay's conduct made it very unlikely he would be the target of aggression. He did his work and did it well. He made fun of himself, so he wasn't a likely target for the insecure backstabbing folk - why attack someone who says they are clueless? I tend to think he just knew that work would prevail regardless of the political games of the players, though it's also possible he was just more into the work than his competitor's issues. He never acted as an aggressor or an ally to one, so the people that wanted to fight found no ammo in him. So with his simple aloof nature, he kept the riff raff off of him.
The real trick was that he had that distance without coming across as fake. That is a difficult balance, for being aloof is one thing - but being distant in the workplace is almost always a liability. A lot of those people who suck in the office have little else in their lives - they're miserable and the office squabbles are how they define themselves. If they see someone as not caring about the office, or being involved elsewhere to the point they don't share it with the office, they just go bonkers. Whether they realize or not, the difference and/or envy make them enter a frenzy of attack to tear down at the person who dares to enjoy life more than they do.
"Be like a duck" only applies to the water issue. If you "paddle like the dickens underneath the surface" then eventually that is going to show. The real trick is to be as calm and water-shedding as the duck appears. If you are just covering up your reaction inside, eventually you'll crack and most people can read through a facade anyway.
My 2ยข - your mileage and interpretation may vary - opinions welcome as always!
