(no subject)

[vicarz]

New fairy shrimp species found in Idaho. This is a large, predatory fairy shrimp. These nasty guys eat everything in their wake, and if they're not hungry they'll just chomp on it enough to make it stop wiggling, and save it for later. In Idaho.
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=514&e=6&u=/ap/20050316/ap_on_sc/new_species
I mean, you just can't make up news like that! Reality, meet fiction. I mean...

The nipple is going back to the background as the shirtless guy joke is now old.

I have sold all my stocks, quit my job, dropped out of law school, and put my house in the market. I've decided to sink all my abilities and resources into a new venture: fake ipods. They won't be called this of course, I'm thinking of a name like "Faux mpg player." See, the new independent status symbol is the cigarette-pack sized ipod, and perhaps more importantly the little white wires leading to your ear (thanx dasboot). I remember when car phones were a big deal, and there was an influx of fake car phone antennas. That's right, USians are so stupid they want to spend money to impress people they never even speak to - while all their friends and neighbors know they don't have what they advertise. Lovely.

So when you see some stylish kid bopping along with that pastel cigarette box with the tell-tale white disk, and the white earbud headphones trailing from their head, you won't know...are they some punk who has $500 to blow on masturbation radio? Or is this someone fooling you into thinking they have the $bling$? I bring you visual economic equality, with a hefty profit for myself of course.

Comments

[transentient.livejournal.com]

We can call them "seagorillas" or something, and market them just like seamonkeys, but in sightly larger plastic tanks, which have packs of seamonkeys in them. The seamonkeys will be food! And we can come up with all of this artwork to portray that. A family of seagorillas with big teeth grinning and laughing together, about to dig into a meal of a terrified seamonkey family! Now that's a get-rich quick scheme.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

You, me, our resources, and our detailed knowledge of south park plots are about to make a fortune...

two words

[greatevil.livejournal.com]

Chia pod

(thanks for the insperation with the Sea monkies)

[turbogrrl.livejournal.com]

DUDE. Turn the faux ipods into seagorilla holders.

[shadow27.livejournal.com]

You can market it through the same people who sell the faux disc brakes. If you haven't seen them they are hubcaps with a circle of perforated metal on the inside to make it look (from a very far distance, or if you squint) like the person has drilled disc brakes, instead of drum. I see them a lot at 7-11s.

[ex-dasboot.livejournal.com]

That's almost as bad as the hubcaps with spinners on them.

[vicar.livejournal.com]

Hey whoa...watch it there buddy! Remember I'm not only a hbz panic, but I'm probably about to upscale my honda civic with both spinners and undercarriage black lights.

[ex-dasboot.livejournal.com]

Don't forget the so-big-it-actually-worsens-your-down-thrust Spoiler and the fake Type R decal.