Is this just the coffee talking?

This morning's too long for fb rant:
About that bad slam dancing video re-making the internet rounds: You know why they do that? Because of you dad, because of you.
No really, read the comments from the 3 friends who posted that vid today, and you'll find 8 guys bragging about how baddass and rough they WERE and their pits WERE and you get the answer. Slam dancing was fun, mostly without major injuries, girls in there, people picking you up...until it got popular and publicized. Then people intentionally made it rough as if jumping around in a circle was like fighting, making it macho rather than communal frustration release. We talked about douchebags in pits "keeping score;" shortly thereafter people would intentionally do things to hurt others...we kind of checked them at first, but then it was more of them than us. Those douches who brag about how ROUGH their pits WERE are bragging today that they are or were macho. So a pit shows how macho you were? Seriously? That talk paves the way for kids to try and prove their worth, without fucking fighting, in pits. So of course they fake fight - as long as you brag about fighting as related to dancing, and as long as you demand respect for you roughness, toughness, and fighting skills - you encourage people to fakefight.
So before you laugh at the boys doing fake-martial-arts dancing to angry music, just realize that either by bragging about your fucking machismo, or by failing to be actually macho enough to stop the losers (my camp), we paved the way for this current blast of fakefighting notdancing silliness.

I make fun of this but like most "men," I still do something like it. One aspect I live about weightlifting is the non-combative competition it represents. Tons of guys are one-upping each other in there, me included. I totally, unabashedly, enjoy lifting more than guys beside me - particularly when they're bigger than me. I enjoy people commenting or watching my lifts "in awe." I also used to like the whole feeling I got from boxing, even with the knowledge that while I could hit, I wasn't good and those boxing skills weren't good enough to prevent grappling where I would be next to worthless in a fight. Worse, I did and do care about my "fight rank," though with confidence that feeling has been greatly quelled - it's not gone. This despite the fact I'm...old. My facial hair (not enough for a beard) is peppered with more whites, I know better as fighting ability is just training - anybody can train even if most don't, and I'm not the fighter I once was...and you're more likely to get jumped by a group anyway. All that stupid, all that knowledge of stupid, and I still have a battle of stupid and notstupid in me. I like to think that I have nudged my battle down to a place where it is at least 80% healthy - nobody gets hurt with my being strong, I help others when possible, and I deescalate and even back down because I'm so secure.

By bragging about my gym strength am I part of the machismo problem?

I feel more american today and it's because of surgery. I watch tv and my moods go up and down with things that don't actually involve me. I laugh with mythbusters as if they were friends, I watch the news so much I notice the wearthergirl's dress and the interaction between the hosts, I feel energized by watching men and robots fight - the sources of all these emotions are fake. I scroll facebook and start to feel snippets of outrage before my brain kicks in and reminds me this is facebook, look at the source, see how others react, and realize how baited and predictable the whole dance is.

My gym time might be fake but it's more real than working a desk all day and then spewing opinions about things I don't have any control over. 20 minutes searching google would give me more information to vote from than 8 hours in facebook.

I look forward to being able to go outside, and to the gym, with more regularity. Maybe this trapped at home with cabletv will educate me about some others' orientation? Can I do something useful with this experience other than talk about others as if I'm better than them? Can I help others somehow?

(no subject)

Today is my anniversary of going to settlement on my DC house in Columbia Heights. I am nowhere near moving in.

The new plans, splitting the units into completely different drawing sets, were submitted 12/18/14. I believe there is a 90 day ("max") delay in the city responding, though when I checked with my contractor I didn't hear back.

When the plans are approved, I'm told the main build time is only 2-3 weeks. The plan was; possibly is, to do the top 2 floors first, then move in - discover all the detail problems (they say the last 10% of the work takes half the time), all while making the basement. This might make moving in spring to early summer?

When I started I thought of spending 35-50k to make the basement a legal rental on a 610k home, plus renovate the top floors a bit. So say I thought I might spend 700k a the high end. As I saw problems and began to realize how difficult it was to do part of the work, I slipped into the plan of gutting everything - that part of the plan I do not regret in any way. Since there were really no original elements in this 100 year old house left to preserve, it was definitely worth pulling out the electric and water (a pipe burst during the teardown - imagine if I had renovated with that behind the walls?) So the budget now is in the 200-250 range, making this a 800-850 spent venture. Value when done? A sloppy flip a few doors down sold for the 800s some years ago and values appear generally up. It's hard to compare now as any house this size is often bought and flipped into 3 condos for 450-500 each.

My goal was to rent out the basement and my VA condo. I changed that goal to renting 1 bedroom (or 2) in my house and the basement, plus the condo. Now, well more later but I may not be renting out any bedrooms and one will definitely be an office; so just renting the basement and condo.

But...only if I can move in some day. Ever. /firstworldproblems
(funny, like the damage and downtime from my surgery, I have enough comparators in not as good positions that I feel guilty lamenting about my problems)

(no subject)

More whining about nothing: ( I hate VD (bait and switch) )