Some of the crazy

All day I've waited to go home and play my video game. I decided to hit the grocery store on the way home (or rather, take my car from the parking lot and shop instead of coming inside). I fought with myself and did a responsible thing - bought low fat vanilla ice cream instead of mint chocolate chip. Then I came home, made and ate chicken nachos, then made and ate chocolate cookie dough while making cookies. I ate enough dough that I felt too sick to make and eat the chocolate chip ice-cream sundae that inspired me. Then I sat down at my computer and...didn't feel like playing the game I wanted to play all day but when I finally had earned my chance, it just felt like work.

I'm confused about what is important right now, including what is important to me. I'm mildly confused about who I am, what I want, what I like even...though not tense about it. I know these things change over time, and the answers shouldn't be terribly important. Mostly I just hope I don't screw up any other part of my life for a while.

Today at work was thinking about my job as I know I have applications boiling out there, topped off by talking to someone about their private law firm experience in my area.

Around 33% of your hours are not billed
http://www.lexisnexis.com/law-firm-practice-management/documents/NonBillingSurveyReport.pdf
Many firms work to hit 2,000 or more billable hours a week.
http://www.nalp.org/billable_hours_feb2012

So 38.5 billable hours per week is alone 2002 hours anum, but adding back that 1/3 is roughly 51 hours per week. Note in that figure there is no allowance for vacation, sick, holiday, or weather emergency time - you work or you die. Forever 51 hours average per week, which means a lot of 70 hour weeks to nail a 2 week vacation.
(many firms let you count pro bono hours as billable, however)

I work 40 hours a week, total, on average, plus I get 104 hours sick time, 208 hours annual leave, 10 paid holidays, and ... and I'm bloody staff so I don't bill hours at all, and the pace is...reasonable. Do I work my ass off sometimes? That may depend which counsel you ask. Compared to their average 50, my 2080 - [(4*26 = 104) - (8 * 10 = 80) - (8*26 = 108) = 296] = 1600. 1600. I work 25% less than what a real lawyer BILLS for.

I have applications floating for higher paying jobs, 1 that is in a DULL area (EEO policy), another doing my type of work but at a higher grade in a more professional Agency...but a new-to-me Agency. Better or worse?

I'm in a house that smells like fresh-baked cookies, but living here I can't smell it. Tollhouse is my seitch smell. Or as told by Ren, "a disgusting, yet familiar smell."

Oddly not feeling like a shower, or putting in that muppet dvd I said I'd watch. The world seems heavy today for no reason.