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Making a positive (work)
Sep. 4th, 2014 07:25 amMost of my office-cube is decorated with hateful things, despair.com posters mocking complaint filers, things that make me look queer and scary at it. Most of the complainants I have now are white, 2nd runner up middle-east / indian/azn. All the cases are frivolous with no indication of any type of possible discrimination; as I often point out most cases where an Agency is found guilty of discrimination would not pass the person-on-the-street test of "is it racist" etc. It's usually a discovery failure, retired witness wouldn't come to hearing for free, technical error, mistake, or something innocuous that gives the judge an excuse to make a finding against us.
However
since we moved upstairs, I sat next to a youngish, pretty, educated Doc of Vet medicine. I was sad she left as she was nice, smart, funny, and ok not bad on the eyes (didn't look at her THAT way, but the truth is I like having attractive friends). She left for some other opportunity. Now my best not-coworker work buddy is the girl who filled her seat; smart, funny, pretty (though kinda not fit, still a pretty face), and vulgar as all living hell (a major plus to me). We've gotten progressively more vulgar over time. I'd hang out with her at not-work; haven't, but would...did go to coffee with her and her coworker (who is a runner, stupidly fit, super pretty, smart). I should ALL of the above appear to be hard workers in a group dominated by lazy and possibly destructive folks.
My friend has been commuting from many states away and working from home. She told me they offered her a flexible schedule to let her do that, and she has religiously adhered to it through weather problems, delayed flights, and personal difficulty. I mock her because it's self-inflicted to live so far away and she's the first to admit it. But. They started "going after her." She said she thought they might and I thought she was being paranoid, until she showed me the emails, told me the conversations, and the facts started fitting her story. I advised her, not actually, but told her to hold her fucking emotions in check, don't send that email, don't be direct first and then hedge your position, don't lead with compromise when they're not...nothing I wouldn't tell anyone. I'm not allowed to represent against the Agency.
Things that made me scratch my head were not approving leave requests made weeks in advance, removing her flexible work schedule and location for no apparent reason, and finally when she got another job offer to the heck out of dodge, still declining leave under flimsy excuses...I mean she's effen leaving!? Most would say fine whatever let it go...they were acting worse, reeking of retaliation (for leaving!?)
She considered filing workplace violence or eeo. This was super awkward for me as I always mock people who do this because it's NOT violent, and often they know it's NOT discrimination. I told her I was glad we had gone out for coffee for if she filed I could both refuse the case for conflict, but for perceived COI as we've been seen socially together.
(lemme wrap this up) She told me the other day she did file - a couple types of cases. She looked at the pattern of females, heard from her predecessor that she had left because she thought they were going to do similar to her so she left first, and since they started making her life hell - they started in on (super pretty girl). She felt she could get through it easy because she already had her job out of state set up - but as they had gone after other females, and were going after yet another, she wanted a RECORD of what they were doing to help others they might victimize.
Look, I don't know if she's good at her job and admittedly I've only heard her point of view. I do, however, know she's smart, heard her criticism of coworkers I also think are idiots, and everything she's ever said or I've seen her do sounds like a good worth ethic to me. Pretty girl too, her vet predecessor too.
Lessons to me:
As I strive to address idiots who file and lie, to continue to understand that:
1. Even idiots deserve to be treated with dignity
2. I don't ever know the full story, stay open and LISTEN
3. What appears not discrimination from the facts I'm given may yet point to discrimination in a way that wasn't obvious at first
4. Even if it isn't discrimination, it may well look like it to a reasonable complainant
5. Unfair is the grounds for a lot of activity
I do have enough of a fem101 perspective from my stupid hippie everythingiscrime friends that I do see, think I see, women treated very different than men - mostly in ignorance. It's the old issue that when women are smart and strong they get called bitches. Most actual discrimination I see is that unconscious stereotype / attribution kind. Sadly we have idiots pulling the race card and screaming crime where there is none in the echochamber to the degree that the subtle issues are pushed to the side, and people who might point out the subtle stuff choose not to for fear of being labeled with the chronic unhappy excuse-making folks.
Hmm, I deal, literally, with a lot of idiots. However, if I constantly refer to them as idiots and liars, even when they are, it might keep folks like my friend here from raising the alarm on the real issues. On the other hand, it is lying or at least disingenuous to refer to our liars, opportunists, and crazy folks in a dignified way as they abuse the system. I'm going to have to dwell on this.
My hands are so thoroughly calloused they're getting borderline uncomfortable.
I tried on all my suits last night, surprised to find I own like 5 of them (3 of which look nearly identical). I can fit in my pants but they're all tight, and that's naked. Add in 2 shirts and it's uncomfortably tight. I hadn't seen weightlifting or getting unwashboarded as a serious financial crisis. The cheap places I bought my namebrand suits are all gone (filene's, symms).
However
since we moved upstairs, I sat next to a youngish, pretty, educated Doc of Vet medicine. I was sad she left as she was nice, smart, funny, and ok not bad on the eyes (didn't look at her THAT way, but the truth is I like having attractive friends). She left for some other opportunity. Now my best not-coworker work buddy is the girl who filled her seat; smart, funny, pretty (though kinda not fit, still a pretty face), and vulgar as all living hell (a major plus to me). We've gotten progressively more vulgar over time. I'd hang out with her at not-work; haven't, but would...did go to coffee with her and her coworker (who is a runner, stupidly fit, super pretty, smart). I should ALL of the above appear to be hard workers in a group dominated by lazy and possibly destructive folks.
My friend has been commuting from many states away and working from home. She told me they offered her a flexible schedule to let her do that, and she has religiously adhered to it through weather problems, delayed flights, and personal difficulty. I mock her because it's self-inflicted to live so far away and she's the first to admit it. But. They started "going after her." She said she thought they might and I thought she was being paranoid, until she showed me the emails, told me the conversations, and the facts started fitting her story. I advised her, not actually, but told her to hold her fucking emotions in check, don't send that email, don't be direct first and then hedge your position, don't lead with compromise when they're not...nothing I wouldn't tell anyone. I'm not allowed to represent against the Agency.
Things that made me scratch my head were not approving leave requests made weeks in advance, removing her flexible work schedule and location for no apparent reason, and finally when she got another job offer to the heck out of dodge, still declining leave under flimsy excuses...I mean she's effen leaving!? Most would say fine whatever let it go...they were acting worse, reeking of retaliation (for leaving!?)
She considered filing workplace violence or eeo. This was super awkward for me as I always mock people who do this because it's NOT violent, and often they know it's NOT discrimination. I told her I was glad we had gone out for coffee for if she filed I could both refuse the case for conflict, but for perceived COI as we've been seen socially together.
(lemme wrap this up) She told me the other day she did file - a couple types of cases. She looked at the pattern of females, heard from her predecessor that she had left because she thought they were going to do similar to her so she left first, and since they started making her life hell - they started in on (super pretty girl). She felt she could get through it easy because she already had her job out of state set up - but as they had gone after other females, and were going after yet another, she wanted a RECORD of what they were doing to help others they might victimize.
Look, I don't know if she's good at her job and admittedly I've only heard her point of view. I do, however, know she's smart, heard her criticism of coworkers I also think are idiots, and everything she's ever said or I've seen her do sounds like a good worth ethic to me. Pretty girl too, her vet predecessor too.
Lessons to me:
As I strive to address idiots who file and lie, to continue to understand that:
1. Even idiots deserve to be treated with dignity
2. I don't ever know the full story, stay open and LISTEN
3. What appears not discrimination from the facts I'm given may yet point to discrimination in a way that wasn't obvious at first
4. Even if it isn't discrimination, it may well look like it to a reasonable complainant
5. Unfair is the grounds for a lot of activity
I do have enough of a fem101 perspective from my stupid hippie everythingiscrime friends that I do see, think I see, women treated very different than men - mostly in ignorance. It's the old issue that when women are smart and strong they get called bitches. Most actual discrimination I see is that unconscious stereotype / attribution kind. Sadly we have idiots pulling the race card and screaming crime where there is none in the echochamber to the degree that the subtle issues are pushed to the side, and people who might point out the subtle stuff choose not to for fear of being labeled with the chronic unhappy excuse-making folks.
Hmm, I deal, literally, with a lot of idiots. However, if I constantly refer to them as idiots and liars, even when they are, it might keep folks like my friend here from raising the alarm on the real issues. On the other hand, it is lying or at least disingenuous to refer to our liars, opportunists, and crazy folks in a dignified way as they abuse the system. I'm going to have to dwell on this.
My hands are so thoroughly calloused they're getting borderline uncomfortable.
I tried on all my suits last night, surprised to find I own like 5 of them (3 of which look nearly identical). I can fit in my pants but they're all tight, and that's naked. Add in 2 shirts and it's uncomfortably tight. I hadn't seen weightlifting or getting unwashboarded as a serious financial crisis. The cheap places I bought my namebrand suits are all gone (filene's, symms).
