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Current hotel check-in process
Aug. 17th, 2014 09:15 amWheel bags in, put on top of dresser or luggage rack (option not used, put in bathtub).
Put do-not-disturb sign on knob, never remove. Ever.
Change temperature from 65 or 68 to 75. Curse out loud at the wasted energy to make stpuidly cold in the middle of summer.
(new) Pull sheets up and inspect seams and corners. Look for any blood stains or (bed) bugs. Do spot checks on all bed corners of both beds. Consider doing this for dressers or drawers.
Inspect thoroughly any spots that look dirty, items that shouldn't be there, room generally - quick visual inspection (pull back curtains, look outside).
Put luggage either on luggage rack, dresser, or bed that is not in front of the tv.
Go to tv, put channel list on bedside table.
Take tv remote to bathroom, put on sink.
Lift toilet lid, check for filth, visually inspect bathroom - including corners and under counters, for evidence of poor cleaning or filth generally.
Take washcloth, make half-wet, cover half the wet washcloth with soap (and if there is no soap dish, improvise a soap dish somehow, again cursing the cheap oversight and lack of understanding of how important that is).
Wash the remote liberally applying soap, not submerging the remote (who gives a fuck if it breaks, though it never has). Laugh at the screw on the back to keep you from stealing the battery. Then "rinse" the remote with the not-soapy part of the wet cloth, then dry. Put with channel list by the bed.
Soap-wash (yes hand soap) the entire bathroom sink area, including the faucet and handles, rinse, but don't bother drying much. When the area is clean, then also wash the sink.
Consider washing the desk area or anywhere else you might sit and rest your hands or arms.
Wash your hands up to the elbows, then while wet rinse or wash your face due to travel scum, dry with hand towel and put somewhere you can use it the rest of the stay.
Throw all used linens under the sink (but in plain sight)
Put down the bath-mat towel outside the tub.
Take a full-sized towel from the bathroom and go to the bed.
Take all comforter type blankets, blankets that might not be washed between uses, extra decorative pillows, extra pillows, and toss beside the bed you will sleep in.
Pick your least-unfavorite pillow and pull the cover off. Inspect both cover and pillow for scary signs of scary biology. If you see any, scream like a young child and panic. If not, lay out towel flat on bed, and roll the uncovered pillow into the towel, then replace the pillowcase over the towel-wrapped pillow. It is now safeish.
Pull back sheets, put pillow at top of bed, and the bed is now safeish.
Open suitcase, put the note from TSA, which I get 100% of the time, that they inspected my luggage personally and by hand due to some racist bullshit, into the pile of recycleable paper. Curse out loud about the TSA scam.
Take all work-drag and check how bad it wrinkled - if not wrinkled or I don't care, hang in closet on hangers. If wrinkled and I care, put on hangers (if not already) and hang off shower bar for steam treatment when I shower. There is no need to consider ironing, ever.
Unpack computer, put on desk, start it booting (stay with it until encryption part passed for longest pause).
Pull bathroom plastic bag from suitcase, and put cosmetics etc. on the sink area.
Take another full-sized towel, and put down over desk chair. Tuck if possible - it's going to be there forever.
Find out how to log onto network, do so, don't open firefox - open 1 page in explorer in case it wants you to click ok or enter logon information to prevent 10 screens from opening up to "failed to connect" type messages. If annoying give up and go straight to your own wireless.
When logged on, catch up with internet and work emails etc.
Take out shoes or anything else that doesn't do well in the suitcase, put on floor.
Lay out case materials on desk, bed, or both.
Put do-not-disturb sign on knob, never remove. Ever.
Change temperature from 65 or 68 to 75. Curse out loud at the wasted energy to make stpuidly cold in the middle of summer.
(new) Pull sheets up and inspect seams and corners. Look for any blood stains or (bed) bugs. Do spot checks on all bed corners of both beds. Consider doing this for dressers or drawers.
Inspect thoroughly any spots that look dirty, items that shouldn't be there, room generally - quick visual inspection (pull back curtains, look outside).
Put luggage either on luggage rack, dresser, or bed that is not in front of the tv.
Go to tv, put channel list on bedside table.
Take tv remote to bathroom, put on sink.
Lift toilet lid, check for filth, visually inspect bathroom - including corners and under counters, for evidence of poor cleaning or filth generally.
Take washcloth, make half-wet, cover half the wet washcloth with soap (and if there is no soap dish, improvise a soap dish somehow, again cursing the cheap oversight and lack of understanding of how important that is).
Wash the remote liberally applying soap, not submerging the remote (who gives a fuck if it breaks, though it never has). Laugh at the screw on the back to keep you from stealing the battery. Then "rinse" the remote with the not-soapy part of the wet cloth, then dry. Put with channel list by the bed.
Soap-wash (yes hand soap) the entire bathroom sink area, including the faucet and handles, rinse, but don't bother drying much. When the area is clean, then also wash the sink.
Consider washing the desk area or anywhere else you might sit and rest your hands or arms.
Wash your hands up to the elbows, then while wet rinse or wash your face due to travel scum, dry with hand towel and put somewhere you can use it the rest of the stay.
Throw all used linens under the sink (but in plain sight)
Put down the bath-mat towel outside the tub.
Take a full-sized towel from the bathroom and go to the bed.
Take all comforter type blankets, blankets that might not be washed between uses, extra decorative pillows, extra pillows, and toss beside the bed you will sleep in.
Pick your least-unfavorite pillow and pull the cover off. Inspect both cover and pillow for scary signs of scary biology. If you see any, scream like a young child and panic. If not, lay out towel flat on bed, and roll the uncovered pillow into the towel, then replace the pillowcase over the towel-wrapped pillow. It is now safeish.
Pull back sheets, put pillow at top of bed, and the bed is now safeish.
Open suitcase, put the note from TSA, which I get 100% of the time, that they inspected my luggage personally and by hand due to some racist bullshit, into the pile of recycleable paper. Curse out loud about the TSA scam.
Take all work-drag and check how bad it wrinkled - if not wrinkled or I don't care, hang in closet on hangers. If wrinkled and I care, put on hangers (if not already) and hang off shower bar for steam treatment when I shower. There is no need to consider ironing, ever.
Unpack computer, put on desk, start it booting (stay with it until encryption part passed for longest pause).
Pull bathroom plastic bag from suitcase, and put cosmetics etc. on the sink area.
Take another full-sized towel, and put down over desk chair. Tuck if possible - it's going to be there forever.
Find out how to log onto network, do so, don't open firefox - open 1 page in explorer in case it wants you to click ok or enter logon information to prevent 10 screens from opening up to "failed to connect" type messages. If annoying give up and go straight to your own wireless.
When logged on, catch up with internet and work emails etc.
Take out shoes or anything else that doesn't do well in the suitcase, put on floor.
Lay out case materials on desk, bed, or both.
