(no subject)
Jul. 1st, 2014 06:41 amCaught myself wishing I could go back in time, inhabit my old body with this new knowledge, and look at my teen and early 20 years again. Wish I could go out to dance to the new music that makes me nostalgic today - watch some of the people I know dancing, talk to them, and know where they wound up. But I can - there are place to go today, and even in my 20s I recall finding I could "look through people" as they all fit patterns and I could predict the interactions from start to finish. In bed.
I wish the things I was dealing with were complex. Half the difficulty is how simple desires are, how simple disincline and reward are. No wanting to eat too much candy and not being sure if these veggies are that good for you is hardly an intellectual challenge. Me want.
Though curiously me want was a recent lesson. I forgot how much. Even so, even so simple, I am confused.
With age one thing - I'm comfortable not knowing. It sounds silly but "I want" and "I don't know" are fairly recent revelations.
Also, it was years ago - my god like 10 - and I went through part of this. I thought we were special, and I wasn't entirely wrong, but I understand that simple situation much better today. Understanding does help as much as I hoped. Neither does making vague posts on eljay.
I wish the things I was dealing with were complex. Half the difficulty is how simple desires are, how simple disincline and reward are. No wanting to eat too much candy and not being sure if these veggies are that good for you is hardly an intellectual challenge. Me want.
Though curiously me want was a recent lesson. I forgot how much. Even so, even so simple, I am confused.
With age one thing - I'm comfortable not knowing. It sounds silly but "I want" and "I don't know" are fairly recent revelations.
Also, it was years ago - my god like 10 - and I went through part of this. I thought we were special, and I wasn't entirely wrong, but I understand that simple situation much better today. Understanding does help as much as I hoped. Neither does making vague posts on eljay.