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Apr. 24th, 2013 06:42 amWhew. I took all day Sunday off
I used to meet or get to know existing friends here in eljay, and I miss that. It's time to move on in theory, though I see no harm in pouring my random thoughts here. However, this is akin to a file on my computer or possibly a spiral notebook. I have not met anyone from eljay in easily 5 or more years. If you can read this I'd probably sleep with you, or even talk over coffee, and for only 3-16 of you we already have. I'm not adverse, though if I'm not feeling it I'm not dismissive either (I think).
Yesterday at work I was worthless (written Tues). I took off Sunday on purpose to be 100% on Monday, but despite sleep, lack of manic video games, and a strong mission - nothing got done. I reported to the office today partly as a punishment.
Wed - gave up and worked at home.
I feel silly still thinking about having children when I have friends that have adult children. Ex lovers. I looked at a grandfather and realized I'd be that old, skin jiggling from my flesh, hair white or missing, muscle withering, when my kids were teens even if I had them today. I don't know a thing about kids, but while I'm a major fan of the sexing, it seems sort of silly to keep doing essentially the same thing over and over again. At least the gym increases numbers - somehow "3some? Now 5, 6, with a handstand!" doesn't actually make the show sound any more exciting.
I can't explain why I keep chugging along when the people up the chain of command are ignorant or willfully harmful for their own benefit. Sure we follow laws and wear clothes, but we're all still animals lying, preying, and stealing the most efficient physical and social goods. Selfish social mammals.
I used to meet or get to know existing friends here in eljay, and I miss that. It's time to move on in theory, though I see no harm in pouring my random thoughts here. However, this is akin to a file on my computer or possibly a spiral notebook. I have not met anyone from eljay in easily 5 or more years. If you can read this I'd probably sleep with you, or even talk over coffee, and for only 3-16 of you we already have. I'm not adverse, though if I'm not feeling it I'm not dismissive either (I think).
Yesterday at work I was worthless (written Tues). I took off Sunday on purpose to be 100% on Monday, but despite sleep, lack of manic video games, and a strong mission - nothing got done. I reported to the office today partly as a punishment.
Wed - gave up and worked at home.
I feel silly still thinking about having children when I have friends that have adult children. Ex lovers. I looked at a grandfather and realized I'd be that old, skin jiggling from my flesh, hair white or missing, muscle withering, when my kids were teens even if I had them today. I don't know a thing about kids, but while I'm a major fan of the sexing, it seems sort of silly to keep doing essentially the same thing over and over again. At least the gym increases numbers - somehow "3some? Now 5, 6, with a handstand!" doesn't actually make the show sound any more exciting.
I can't explain why I keep chugging along when the people up the chain of command are ignorant or willfully harmful for their own benefit. Sure we follow laws and wear clothes, but we're all still animals lying, preying, and stealing the most efficient physical and social goods. Selfish social mammals.
