Apr. 21st, 2013

vicarz: (DL)
I intentionally avoided watching CNN before my hearing, more so when I saw they had killed one of the Boston terrorists and were hunting another. I missed all the updates, the chase, all on purpose as I wanted to focus all my energy on the hearing. The stupid hearing over what might be $500-2500 value of the case, vs. the potential demoralization and damage to our pay for performance system or the onslaught of curmudgeons that would follow if the word were out that you had a snowball's chance of overturning your performance appraisal if you were just enough of a selfish ass.

The hearing went swimmingly, not perfectly but as good as I had hoped - considering that I juggled 3 cases that week and worked 10, 12, and 14 hour days. Needless to say I lost comp time again, but at least this time I knew it going in. I CHOSE to sacrifice that for the value of the cases to the Agency that doesn't value me.

It's like marriage.

Afterward, I nearly gave the sad old man my "we're not friends" blowoff when he asked to speak after the hearing. I knew he enjoyed the thing and was doing all I could to not let on any interest in him or his case whatsoever. I had to balance kicking his ass with the fact he was immune to humiliation and his enjoyment kept him wasting 10s of thousands of dollars of taxpayer money because the law says he has such a right. However, I looked at him in the middle of the hearing and remembered when my dad was an annoying asshole, and while my dad was a different twit, this guy had some behaviors in common with him. I had to dissuade him, but I also felt I should still treat him with respect. My dad got better before he died - maybe I could find the path for this one.

He complimented me for my composure and organization. He, of course, attributed his likely loss to his lack of knowledge of the procedure...in his arrogance he never once approached admitting he was wrong, which was to the Agency's advantage in hearing as his evasiveness ruined his case through his lack of credibility 10x more than admissions of mistakes would have done. You see, he came up with reasons why his loss had nothing to do with his abilities; in fact he convinced himself he did a great job for someone who did it on his own. How to shut him down? I took a stab at the truth:

"Well thank you, but this was really no big deal. No, this week I've juggled two other cases, each a 6 figure case. I didn't really have time to focus on this one. However, today I've skipped the news and rather than a beer, I'm going to check out CNN to find out what's happening with those terrorists. It actually saddens me, for while I'm not blindly patriotic, I do care and I am a taxpayer too - and I think if the average taxpayer knew how much of their money was wasted on this trivial and frivolous action they'd be shocked; Congress would repeal the laws that give those rights. It is a shame that all this money on these cases could have gone to help the FBI find or even prevent those terrorists attacks, but instead goes into those processes."

I ate by myself at the hotel bar, and drank a beer as CNN announced that a young Chechnyan had been captured alive. And I was both proud and ashamed of my work that day.

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vicarz

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