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For once fuck gymrats
Jun. 4th, 2012 01:24 pmI have this awesome new workout. It's my answer to crossfit (a very poor and short retort, but I blame crossfit for turning every squat cage USA into a friggin jungle gym).
I jump.
See, the killed my favorite chin-up bar at Gold's when they upgraded from the old stuff, that had a plain straight bar, to a neat shiny new machine which is overall better than what it replaced, only instead of a flat bar it has 4 different grips that you can do your pulls on - only none are straight. "Get bent," the gym said to me.
These grips are the same as in the squat cages, only the ones in the squat cages are 6-8" higher than the lower bar by the lat/chest pull station. I usually work out in the squat cages (gotta do those 400 bad-form bicep curls somewhere) so rather than run back and forth to swap sets, I've started jumping my short self (self, I said, you're short) to the bars.
This is fun. This is really fun. This is fun because I'm jumping up in the air, not sure if I can reach the banana, and if I'm wrong I may tilt back, fall, and die. It's fun because it looks higher than I can jump. It's fun because sometimes when I'm tired (or scared, I'm a total coward) I jump meaning only to try and touch my fingers to the bar - and am shocked that not only do I reach it but my monkey hands mindlessly grip the thing and I wind up hanging in the air when I meant only to touch the thing.
I think I mentioned this before, but I used to do it on the way to pull ups. It's now part of my "power routine," exploring lighter weights fast. So right now I'm doing 3 sets of 3 "jump to that really high-up banana" leaps.
I think next I'm going to practice jumping and grabbing it with my tail.
I jump.
See, the killed my favorite chin-up bar at Gold's when they upgraded from the old stuff, that had a plain straight bar, to a neat shiny new machine which is overall better than what it replaced, only instead of a flat bar it has 4 different grips that you can do your pulls on - only none are straight. "Get bent," the gym said to me.
These grips are the same as in the squat cages, only the ones in the squat cages are 6-8" higher than the lower bar by the lat/chest pull station. I usually work out in the squat cages (gotta do those 400 bad-form bicep curls somewhere) so rather than run back and forth to swap sets, I've started jumping my short self (self, I said, you're short) to the bars.
This is fun. This is really fun. This is fun because I'm jumping up in the air, not sure if I can reach the banana, and if I'm wrong I may tilt back, fall, and die. It's fun because it looks higher than I can jump. It's fun because sometimes when I'm tired (or scared, I'm a total coward) I jump meaning only to try and touch my fingers to the bar - and am shocked that not only do I reach it but my monkey hands mindlessly grip the thing and I wind up hanging in the air when I meant only to touch the thing.
I think I mentioned this before, but I used to do it on the way to pull ups. It's now part of my "power routine," exploring lighter weights fast. So right now I'm doing 3 sets of 3 "jump to that really high-up banana" leaps.
I think next I'm going to practice jumping and grabbing it with my tail.
