(no subject)

I don't feel like writing but here I be anyway.
Decided not to try and set too many records in the gym this week. Motivation is an issue, and I note on my DLs I haven't improved any other sets - my attempt for 5 only nets 5, 3 gets 3...so I'll try and get an extra rep on the lower sets before I hit 405. Bench is benchy, who cares. I kinda crashed emotionally after hitting 315 - every time I set a record I can't ignore that others are doing double my weight and of people I know nobody gives a rat's kiester about my gym accomplishments.

My motivations are essentially social acceptance, but I lack social skills and perspective.

Work is full of suck, but I have it so good compared to others I can't complain (except at work). It seems every day more work is taken from the other branches and heaped on us. If I just knuckle down and work without caring then I'd be fine - but I keep returning to formerly liking this job and seeing how small changes could make it not suck. The least bit of human consideration, or just manners, would make this a lot different.

Or maybe I'm just on my period.

(no subject)

I DEAD LIFTED FOUR HUN DRED AND FIVE POUNDS

So don't fuck with me. And by the implied you, I mean any weights broken into units of 45 or less which happen to be found, wrapped in comfortable rubber, have easily accessible handles in the sides in an area full of bars perfectly suited to fit inside your slidey-hole amongst cages of safety equipment over a rubberized flooring material, and don't want to be picked up off the ground for a brief period of time before being set back down on the floor. SpellerB is telling me amongst is not a word but I want it to be a word and I'm strong.

Ok, so I didn't mean to do this weight. As I noted to the nebula earlier, I decided this was not a good idea this week because I was not getting more than 5, not getting more than 3, and I already set one record and setting another could lead to future motivation problems. So I wrote down the old workout numbers in the margin to take it easy today. I was even thinking that after watching that Cressey video that I'd try to see if I could make sure I was doing ass-out form rather than squatting weight from the floor form, since this was a weight I knew I could do. I started my warmup only to realize half-way through that I had started down the wrong path - I was going on the path to 405. I literally lol'd, and being lazy decided I didn't want to just back out of a course of action. So I gave myself fail permission; if I didn't hit it I'd wait and do the 390 instead. But 5 was strong, 3 was strong, and 1 was a struggle but it came up - all the way up. Four oh fucking five.
However, this time I didn't yell and dance around. Much.

When I was leaving I passed the front desk where an employee was holding a balloon. I said "Ah ha! I was wondering why, when I was back here making history (personal), there were no sirens and balloons - I see you were still working on them up here!" At that, the smiling dude let go of the balloon and it flubbeted around the desk until deflated. omg that was awesome!