(no subject)

Tonight I'm totally unabashed about the fact I left the club to come home, SHOWER, have a drink alone, and play my stupid old video game alone (ok after a long conversation in and out of the car). Dunno why, but this makes me happy. Wow...if I could shower DURING the club...that could be an absolute mess but in some other ways that would be really convenient.

Ok this and the fact that I had just enough liquid social lubricant to bite a friend (I blame the amazingly tight muscles more than the alcohol), have a talk about stuff I didn't think was supposed to be talked about, buy art (IOU $10 Steve/Donna), flirt? with a girl I never saw before (probably gay)...but egads I wish I had gone with simply a not-costume instead of a giant wool suit. HOT in a bad way. Oh, speaking of friendly - my apologies to Tom and Rachel, friendly yes, no offense meant. Mint. Perfectly respectful of boundaries when I know what they are and am sober enough to follow them.

Kyla was nice to me yet again - thank you, again. Sometimes even I am not sure why you humor me, but watching me/us making other people uncomfortable as hell comes to mind. On the other hand - old-school and BSG couple mixing starbucks was a fucking cool spin!

Was also flattered, very much so, that Slash noticed the resemblance between my look and 5 years ago when the chauffeur... Happy anniversary you happy bastards. Soon we share knives and the glory of permeating flesh and releasing the contents therein.

Note to myself ... need to TALK more about things INSIDE MY HEAD. They aren't as foreign and poorly received as I expect. Bring inside to outside place.

Not surprised I didn't see Fria but wish I had.

(no subject)

Jose is
not remembering why he hates somebody
warm and comfy in Murky drinking his second cup that tastes like a cookie
noticing that when he fucks off on the clock a lot during the week, though nobody complains or even notices, that he makes up for it by working on the weekend, so it begs the question of why be so adamant about not wanting to monitor billable hours
sad that his not-a-year-old HP media center computer just crashed - not a MS-OS crash, a root HD read-I/O error crash. It was bad enough I made my new computer into a $550 tivo, worse if the damn thing breaks physically before it lives a complete year.
still happy about last night
still happy he didn't actually do that early-morning drink thing so he could wake up 3-4 hours later, do morning, and then come to murky to do that work I didn't get done while fucking off this week and Sat too
putting off washing the car, balancing the tires, aligning the wheels, waxing the car, using rain-x on the windows, returning that stuff to home depot, ironing his clothes, dusting, vacuuming, mopping, watering the plants, working out, and trimming his toenails
sure he made plans with someone for something today but can't remember who, and hopes they forgot too
happy that girl is wearing a short very-80s dress - thinking she looks like either a monchichi or Ilen (though the dress, not the hair, is blue)
happy that goth girl is here every week with her mom
happy he still isn't all wrapped up in other people's bodies, that his categories have morphed into "people I'd put in my mouth," and "other"
proud of and happy for everyone marathoning today
happy that not being freaked out by church people because I have no idea what they think on an individual basis is sticking - one less thing to stop being so fucking judgmental about, and hopes he can hang on to that
noticing that me-changes seem to stick more lately
days away from dead-dad's birthday, and reflecting that the last time I wore that suit was when I spoke at his memorial
yelling "Holy shit $5 hot chocolate is back!" inside his tiny rat-brain
waiting for the post-church long line to subside so he can utterly fuck up his diet by getting that $5 hot cocoa
thinking of going to Florida to follow through on his offer for a slow comfortable drunk
twittering his LJ in one fell swoop
finding something he likes about each and every person he sees right now, that dress, those legs, that hair, that smile, the two of them wrapped in conversation, the other couple cuddling like they were in Chile, that suede fringe-covered jacket, and hoping this feeling lasts
reminded that there is no greater pleasure than the cessation of pain
making faces while he reads his own writing and not caring if that looks weird (ok not caring much, I guess I care somewhere in here else I wouldn't have commented on the fact)
wearing his blackberry
cracking up looking a the toddler who ate the chocolate icing off the top of his donut and wondering if we're related
wearing his favorite pair of patchwork chucks
probably going to reach his fat-loss goals right as the holiday season ends, and go nuts on all the half-priced candy and repeat the cycle again
trying to move more parts of his brain away from black-white on-off binary categorization
hoping these thoughts are interesting to someone else or even to myself later when I'm no longer under the influence of liquids, music, and vicarious people-interaction